The Oscars are this Sunday night and I don’t know about you, but I’ve only seen two of the movies— Birdman and American Sniper. I will be rooting for them blindly throughout the show, since they are all I know.

Parents are usually too busy to take any me time for something as trivial as a movie. We prefer to use our precious childless hours for things like alcohol and facebook. This is why, I have put together the Baby Oscars, a series of awards that honor the real stars of our lives— our children.

What are the categories? Who got nominated? What will they win?

SO MANY QUESTIONS! Can’t you just be quiet for a second and LISTEN??!!!!

Sorry, that was the parent in me coming out.

The categories and nominations were determined by sorting through over 1000 submitted photos on the Mommy Shorts facebook page. The winners will be announced on Monday and the prizes will be much like the real Oscars— bragging rights, accolades, jealousy from your so-called friends and a trophy to display on your mantle. Except this trophy will be in the form of a Mommy Shorts mug.

I expect each parent to mug their winner and give an acceptance speech, FYI.

How will the winners be determined? By votes from the academy. Except, instead the academy being made up of a bunch of old people with two much money and mansions in the Hollywood Hills, they will be all of you. Voting will be open until the Oscars are over Sunday night.

And the nominations are….

Oliver in “The Maternity Man”:

Finlee in “I am Cake, Hear Me Roar!”:

Cora in “The Great Grape Explosion”:

Everett in “Baby in a Plane”:

Ava and Addison in “Too Many Tutus”:

Carson in “The Metal Detector”:

Anna and Turner in “We Found Mommy’s Lipstick”:

Lilah in “Now My Hands Match My Pants”:

Hazel in “Attack of the Sharpie”:

Josie in “When Diaper Cream Strikes Back”:

Amaya in “Was I Not Supposed to Use Krazy Glue?”:

Keegan in “Toddler Two Face”:

Jordyn in “Cold in the Park”:

Noah in “The Longest Time Out”:

Pierce in “I Came From WHERE?!”:

Rafe in “The Unwanted Ponytail”:

Kayla in “Best Disney Vacation Ever”:

Avery in “Oh, the Irony”:

Cadence in “OMG”:

Crosson in “The Lost Sandal”:

Hazy in “The Yellow Mustache”:

Jack in “There’s a New Sheriff in Town”:

Finola in “Brain Freeze”:

Ellis in “I Got Your Phone”:

Eve in “Be Careful or Your Eyes will Stay that Way”:

Adalyn in “The Fountain Sink”:

Max in “Mealtime Planking”:

Sylvie in “Indoor Acrobat”:

Joshua in “The Life and Times of an Upside Down Napper”:

Owen and Brayden in “Did You Find the iPad, Yet?”:

Liam in “Escape from the Bouncy Chair”:

Malakai in “You’re Sitting Too Close to the Television”:

Jojo in “The Man Who Wore Suspenders”:

Mason in “Glasses are My Jam”:

Dezy in “The Preschool Heartbreaker”:

Justin in “Romeo and Romeo”:

Dylan in “Beach Bum”:

Maddox in “Underwater Dreamer”:

Kellan in “Bath Tub Pimpin'”:

Miaha in “Superstar”:

Atlee in “This Way”:

Lily in “A Parisian in America”:

Alexa in “Can You Cut My Hang Nail?”:

Harper in “Everything I Know I Learned from Tupac”:

Quinn in “Dehydration”:

Sarah in “All the Pretty Ponies”:

This Kid in “I Found Your Candy Stash”:

Sophia in “Drunk Dial”:

Miles for “Toy Xylophone Symphony”:

Aurelia for “Air Flute Serenade”:

Foster in “Captain Underpants”:

Jayden in “Supermarket Avenger”:

Raleigh and Reagan in “The Power of Pink”:

Toby in “The Heart Warrior”:

Gracyn in “There’s Something About Mary 2”:

Daily in “Point Break 2”:

Gavin in “Animal House 2”:

Bo in “Babe 3”:

Estella in “Hannibal 2”:

Pete in “Friday the 14th: The Turkey Meat Killer”:

This kid for “Harry Potter: The Prequel”:

Mae and Colin in “Groucho Marx: The Early Years”:

Casen and Colter in “The Ingredient Checkers”:

These kids in “The Dance Recital”:

Milo and Amalia in “The Big Brother”:

Carter and Toby in “Super Pup”:

Willow and Autumn in “The Goodnight Kiss”:

Eden, Hazel and Clover in “The Real Entourage”:

Noah and Ella in “Porch Stories”:

Mason and Red in “More Than Friends”:

Adelyn and Cayson in “Before Columbus Ruined Everything”:

These kids in “Clash of the Junior Bridesmaids”:

Henry and Hazel in “Birthday Party for Two”:

Marissa and Ella in “Spiderman 5”:

Molly in “The Neverending Trail of Toilet Paper”:

Josiah in “Dirt in a Can”:

Greyson in “The Clean Clothing Pile”:

Archer in “Give Me Back My Binkie”:

Avery in “The Stuffed Kitty Killer”:

Anna in “The Twisted Slinky”:

Lilah Grace in “The Creeper”:

Violet in “The Bad Mother”:

Connor in “The Sibling Trap”:

Kai in “The Deuce Dropper”:

You can vote once a day up until the end of the real Oscars, when the votes will be officially tallied.  As I mentioned, there is no big prize with this one. It’s just for fun. Winner gets bragging rights and a Mommy Shorts mug, color of your choosing.

So no funny business or fighting is necessary!

Good luck to everyone and as they always say— it is an honor just to be nominated.