The “Shit Girls Say” meme has been declared officially over ( said it was “Shit Brides Say” that did it) but that didn’t stop me from doing toddlers justice. I felt it was my duty as a mother to make the meme jump the shark twice.

About 90% of the footage was shot over the last three days and it’s basically a compilation of all the bits I would usually edit out. Spoiler alert: It’s Mazzy, not a man playing Mazzy.

Whether I am late to the party or not, I am so glad I did it, because there is no more complete picture of my two-year-old (25 months to be exact) than what you are about to see. Not one word was prompted.ย Except for “please”. But I prompt that word every goddamn day. (I think you’ll be able to tell it’s less than sincere.)

Time will tell whether I look back on this period fondly or not. Or whether this will inspire or deter others from having children.

Mazzy, don’t hate me. I love you to death.