An awful lot changes once you have kids, but luckily you were warned about most of them. The post baby belly, the sleepless nights, the short order cooking, the sudden obsession with hand sanitizer, etc.
But were you aware your vocabulary changes, too?
When the baby comes along, not only do you get to learn fun, brand new words like “meconium” and “lochia,” you get to relearn words you thought you already knew.
This post was contributed by Robyn Welling. To read more from Robyn, visit Hollow Tree Ventures and follow her on Facebook.
For more parental distraction, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox?
Hilarious! Love it, so true 🙂
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! (I’m assuming “glad” still means the same thing it used to…)
#truth and yes Hand, foot, mouth happens when you let your second and on up children do what they want. That 1st child you practically bubble wrapped to take anywhere. Hilarious!
Yup, from second on up your standards really change. “Sure, kids, go ahead and lick each other’s faces, just stay out of the road.”
Can we add s-e-x?
Before Kids (or while trying to conceive): a spontaneous act with the one you love, often repeated weekly.
After Kids (or while trying to conceive): an act planned out with strict precision while trying to conceive or covertly executed from the sight of prying eyes after children are birthed(bathroom, closet, etc).
Good one, April!
OMG! I LOVE this list!! I immediately identified with the “after kids” column, as I have a 7 year old and 2 year old. Looking at the “before kids” column was like looking through some vacuum time tunnel in some sci-fi movie where things looked vaguely familiar. 🙂
Right? I SORT OF remember what a party was, but it’s verrrry hazy… Maybe a sign of too many parties. 😉
This article will help the internet people for setting
up new web site or even a blog from start to end.
So I had to come back to this post because an article came across my facebook page about why you are having such a hard time with pull ups. I needed the picture and to re-read the title a few times before I realized it wasn’t about potty training lol
YEEESSSS – This is so, so, so good haha – especially the shot and the blowout…..its so true, staring me right in the face the whole time. I can’t stop laughing, so clever!
[…] Words that change meaning when you become a mom. My favorite is “blowout.” […]
I remember when my daughter was about eight and we walked into a salon and she sighed heavily and said loudly “oh mom, really another blow job??? Oh the looks I got.