I've been out of commission for the past few days. I got sick a little over a week ago and tried to fight through it but by last Thursday, it was clear I was going downhill fast.
1) I completely lost my voice which makes it impossible to do anything, especially parenting.
2) I had a dry cough so constant and excrutiating, it was more annoying for the people around me than it was for me.
No, that's total crap. It was 1000X worse for me, but you'd never know it, what with Mike's aggravated bed shifting every time I had a coughing fit in the middle of the night.
At some point last week, it got so bad that I couldn't even lie down. Lying down instigated more coughing. The only thing that soothed my cough was drinking hot water with honey, so that's what I did. ALL NIGHT LONG.
I did not sleep a wink in three days.
Three nights of constant coughing with no sleep meant my ears started to feel hot and clogged and my head felt like it was going to explode.
Plus, my coughing fits were turning into scary weezing attacks where I thought I couldn't breathe. At one point, I was in a car and made the driver pull over because I thought I was going to die. Then I stood on the side of the road in the freezing cold until I caught my breath.
I am not a hypochondriac and I hate sympathy, so please trust me when I say—it was awful.
The doctor said it was a shitstorm of acid reflux, post nasal drip and especially sensitive vocal chords. She might have said "perfect storm" but I think "shitstorm" seems more representative. She also thought I was having anxiety attacks when I thought I couldn't breathe which was making everything worse.
In addition to doubling up the crapload of medication I was already taking, she told me I had to stop speaking and ordered me to "go home and rest".
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
"That's hilarious. You're aware I have two children, right? A one-year-old and a four-year-old?"
"I know it's not easy, but that's what you need to do."
I asked her how long she thought it would take to get better and she said, "Honestly? It depends on how seriously you take my advice to rest and not speak".
I told Mike what the doctor said and he agreed, "It's time for you to take a break". Except I knew when he said "take a break", he meant from work.
Mmmmhmmm.
Has anybody ever tried to "take a break" at home with small children present? Even if a caregiver or a spouse is in the house?
IMPOSSIBLE.
Especially in a two bedroom apartment, where every fit and tantrum is happening directly outside your door.
I told Mike that if I really was going to "take a break", it needed to be from the kids too.
"I must ignore my children. My health depends on it."
Because Mike was away from work, my mother came Thursday night to sleep over, our nanny came Friday during the day and then Mike was on single dad duty from the second he walked in the door Friday evening.
For the first time, since I had Mazzy four years ago— I rested in my own home.
I slept. I watched the final season of Fringe. I caught up on the new season of Girls. I did not blog. I did not answer emails. I did not work on any business related stuff. And I ignored the crap out of my children.
There were tantrums. There was crying that went unattended. But I did not rise to see if I could put an end to it quicker than whoever was dealing with them on the other side of my bedroom door.
There was also lots of laughter and compelling things happening on the other side of that door, but I did not rise for those either.
And I tried my best not to feel guilty about missing both the good and the bad.
I even waited for everyone to leave the apartment before I emerged from my hole and fixed myself some soup.
And yes, I appreciate that I am very lucky to have the people in place to make this happen. If I were a stay-at-home mom without nearby family, I imagine this scenario would be way way harder.
On Sunday, I woke up after two full days of dropping out and realized my doctor was right. Rest is truly the best medicine. My head was clear, my cough was subsiding and my voice was clearly on the mend.
I wish I could say the same for Mike.
Poor thing went to bed with the beginnings of a Man Cold last night.
I bet Mikes man cold will make for some funny blog posts this upcoming week lol. Glad you are feeling better, my family has been sharing our germs for the last 2 weeks. No fun!
I completely understand you on this one. I’ve been sick for two weeks, and worked right through it (I work from home as a freelance ghostwriter) but now that my toddler has gotten very sick, I’m getting worse too, with deadlines right on the horizon. Glad you’re feeling better!
My doctor has 5 kids and laughs along….perhaps that isn’t exactly good? No? My 3 year old is in the middle of a little bitty man cold right now. Last night I suggested he breath through his mouth to which he answered in the most pathetic of voices “BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW!” as he collapsed on the floor. I imagine that if he is learning about man colds from my husband, today he will stay in bed all day and be unreasonable about football.
I’m glad you’re feeling better and hope to God you survive the wreckage of your husband’s man cold. That’s nothing to sneeze at. Ok sorry, I couldn’t help myself there.
Oh I’m so glad you’re better or on the mend! We’re all sick here, my 3month old and my about to be 3yr old. Snot central! Unfortunately the 3yr old is recovering fastest but with a careful line up of nick jr and “fetch” (not kidding, he brings me his nerf ball and I throw it for him), I have manage to spend hours on the couch with the baby. Hubs is avoiding us like the plague but since he works with school age kids I’m sure he’s next and I’ll have to baby him. Lol!
I’m so glad you’re on the mend! What you described sounds GD awful. I was on baby duty this weekend while my husband was going through a man cold. He tried to sleep in the basement for the third night in a row because he was still “contagious”. I translated that into him wanting a third night of undisturbed sleep until 9am. Nope. Wasn’t having it. Get your ass back upstairs, slap on a mask, and be on baby duty. Momma is off the clock.
My husband decided to get a man cold while I was working as a 6th grade teacher (on the 3rd floor of a building with no elevator) and 41 weeks pregnant – did I mention we have a three year old at home? That was not a good time. Man colds suck!
I know that it seems you’re better, but Delsym is the BEST cough syrup. Also propping yourself up helps to sleep better. And Aleve D Max Cold and Sinus (behind the counter at the pharmacy) will make you feel like a rock star during the days. Hopefully you can get the hubs to get over his illness more quickly with better meds!
I run a daycare and lost my voice. The kids just though that was great. I mended and now things are back to normal. And I am now sorry I made fun of my mom when she would lose her voice almost once a year. Karma man she is mean and will get you back.
Oh no, so sorry that you were so sick! I’m glad you were able to go on lockdown for two days and get better though! I have somehow managed to avoid the illnesses that everyone and their dog has been getting this winter; but, I have been having what by all accounts seem like gallstone attacks and will probably be having gallbladder surgery soon. So germs and viruses don’t bother me, but my own body attacks me. Thankfully, recovering from surgery while having only one 4 month old sounds a lot easier than doing it while having a one year old and a four year old! I’m so glad to hear that you’re better, that sounds so rough!
And BLERGH to the Man Cold! I love my husband but I feel you on that one. Good luck with that and I look forward to the blog post about it! ;-P
Sounds like we just went through the same thing. I left work early last Thursday and didn’t move from the couch until Saturday afternoon. I coughed so hard that I was choking myself and almost puking. And sometimes to the point where I couldn’t catch my breath, especially in this freezing weather.
I lost my voice Friday morning and didn’t talk the entire day. I overloaded on vitamin C, Echinacea tea with raw honey, oregano capsules (Every time I burped, it tasted like pizza. I hate pizza), and vitamin D. And lots of popsicles and Lifetime movies.
I hear you on the “more worse for them than me” piece. My hubby is a doc, and his response to basically everything is “wait two weeks and it will go away.” Until I’m coughing so much it wakes him, in which case it’s, “let me prescribe you xyz, and maybe I should sleep in the guest room for a few days.” Men.
Well done for having the self-discipline/patience not to get up and sort the tantrums and look after yourself first. I miss sick days (stay home mom with jealousy issues when less ill husband takes one and just lies in bed sweating til he’s better while I power through) but I recognise I can be my worst enemy for getting up to mediate when I do get rest time… Well done you for managing the mommy guilt. Or ignoring it for the greater good of not being sick the next three months and being a cranky mom til summer… Hope you stay healthy!
I can relate to your dilemma. I go to work to relax. Home is just too high stress with my over active 6 year old son and my 16 year old son who ignores every request until I screech at him. Oh, and I’ve got no partner, so it’s all on me.
When I had a hysterectomy a year ago, most of the planning involved (and I had only 5 days to figure it all out) was centered on how I was going to keep the youngster from trying to climb on me before I had adequate time to recover. Happily, the surgery went well and he responded kindly to the “mommy has a big boo boo” line.
Our Doctor. He’s the guy who spent years in Medicine school! Right? Now we know. The next time he says … Take a rest, … Take a rest. Glad you’re well now.