This post will be considerably shorter than yesterday's post, mainly because Harlow cried it out for a grand total of ELEVEN MINUTES last night. Allow me to do a little happy dance before I continue.
But wait. Before I talk about last night (aka DAY TWO), let me finish the rundown of Monday night (aka DAY ONE). I'll keep dancing if you need to get caught up.
In a nutshell, Harlow went to sleep after crying it out for a little under two hours. Hellish, but we got through it. And by "we", I mean "me", because Mike left the apartment because he couldn't take it.
Harlow then skipped her midnight feeding and woke up for the first time at 3am. I did as I was instructed by Erin, the sleep consultant— I walked in, replaced her pacifier, rubbed her blankie on her cheek, and walked out. No talking or eye contact.
Harlow continued to cry so at the ten minute mark, I walked back in and repeated the routine. About a minute after I walked out the second time, Harlow stopped crying and went back to sleep.
At 6:20am, I woke up.
Not because Mazzy was screaming for the television or because I almost rolled over a baby brought into our bed in a moment of exasperation at 4am.
I woke up just because that was the time I happened to open my eyes in bed. A foreign concept, I know. Miraculously, both kids were still sleeping in their room.
You know what I did? I TOOK A SHOWER. I didn't even have to tell anybody I was doing it.
At 6:45am, Mazzy woke up pleasant and well-rested. After all, she had just gotten over 12 hours of sleep. Harlow was immediately woken up by Mazzy's voice and after changing her diaper, I took everyone into the living room.
Erin says that if the girls get up any time from 5:30am to 7:30am, we should greet them with a smile, turn on the lights and start the day.
When Erin first told me this part of the plan, I was worried because typically Harlow wakes up at 5am and I get her to go back to sleep by bringing her in our bed. We can usually squeeze another hour out of her until Mazzy comes in and wakes us all up. But since the girls woke up at 6:45am anyway, getting up with them wasn't a big deal.
In fact, I'm feeling sillier and sillier that I did not sleep train sooner. Especially since Harlow woke up as A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BABY.
She stayed still when I changed her diaper.
She didn't whimper when I put her down on the floor to play with her toys independently.
She didn't crawl her legs up my body and try to fling herself over my shoulder when I held her.
It's interesting. I didn't think Harlow had a bad temperament or was particularly overtired before the sleep training, but now I realize I was wrong. Over the past few months, she has been incredibly clingy. Prefering to be held all the time by only a very select group of people. If you try to pass Harlow to anyone who isn't myself, her dad or our nanny Ruth, she acts like we are having her incarcerated.
Harlow is also a bundle of energy. She moves constantly and is always turning her head this way and that, flailing her arms and legs in all directions, wriggling out of my grasp but then getting upset when I put her down.
I don't want to jump the gun but it appears that one night of sleep training has already made a big difference in Harlow's demeanor. Whether this means she is broken or rejuventated, I'm not sure. But by all accounts she seems…dare I say it?
RELAXED.
This is a huge point I want to make, because I think the naysayers on my facebook page are all under the impression that parents sleep train for themselves. They think it's a selfish enterprise so that weary moms and dads sick of tending to their children late at night can get more sleep.
NO.
That is only part of the equation.
Sleep training is just as beneficial for the child as it is for the parents. Probably even more so. A well rested child with a solid routine and the ability to soothe themselves is the main reason people sleep train. A solid night of sleep for ourselves is a wonderful bonus.
Which brings me to the nap time plan, which we started yesterday morning.
Erin recommended putting Harlow down at 8am regardless of what time she woke up. She told us to treat nap times exactly like bedtimes. The only difference being that during the day, Mike and I depend on our nannny, Ruth while we are at work. I actually stayed home half the day so that I could be with Ruth during sleep training. I didn't want to put that responsibility totally on her, although I did foward her a copy of the plan so she could be just as well-versed in it as I am.
Harlow cried her way through the entire first nap. Erin said to go in every ten minutes to check on her, but if she didn't fall asleep after one hour (exactly what happened), to take her out of the crib.
We kept Harlow up until 12pm when it was time for her second nap. Harlow cried for ten minutes, but fell asleep right after the first check-in. She woke up an hour later.
Erin said to make the first two naps in the crib, with our new black-out shades in full effect (another thing I wish I did sooner). She refered to the third nap (at 3pm) as the "bridge nap" and said it was fine to take place in the stroller. At this point, I was at work but Ruth reported that Harlow slept for an hour in the stroller, waking up at 4pm.
Two hours later, at 6pm, it was time to start the bedtime routine all over again. Feeding, changing, books, etc.
Both girls were in bed by exactly 6:38pm.
Harlow cried for ten minutes, I did my first check-in and then Harlow stopped crying a minute after I walked out.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But it wasn't over yet.
Mazzy was still up talking to herself and started to call my name at about 7:15pm. When I poked my head in to tell Mazzy to be quiet, Harlow started crying again. I don't know if that was because Mazzy woke her up or because she had never actually fallen asleep. Thankfully, she stopped crying as soon as I walked back out.
Mazzy fell asleep about fifteen minutes later and by 7:25am the house was wonderfully quiet with both girls fast asleep.
Can I claim success on Day Two? I'll refrain and wait to see what happens tomorrow, but I'm feeling confident we are on the right track.
Which brings me to the negative comments on my facebook page, many of which I haven't even read. I gave up trying to delete them because I don't think I care enough to waste my time. Plus, it seemed like by last night's update, many of those people had unfollowed and the thread was almost 100% positive.
Thank you to everyone who has commented or emailed me with their support. Please know that I am not bothered by the people claiming "child abuse!" on my fanpage. I am no parenting expert. I do tons of things wrong and make decisions I am unsure of all the time. But this is not one of them. I am 100% confident sleep training is the best thing for my girls so I am not thrown by people flinging nonsense.
I sincerely hope if there are other readers training their kids this week along with me, they are confident enough in their plan to ignore the naysayers too.
Godspeed, everyone!
(Continue to Sleep Training Day Three)
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If you'd like to keep following my plan in real time, join the Mommy Shorts facebook fanpage.
If you'd like to hire my sleep consultant, Erin, you can find her at Pickles & Ice Cream.
Sleep training is amazing! It worked wonders for my daughter who has been sleeping clear through the night since 4 mo. You are doing great!! Keep it up xoxo
Like you said, don’t feed the trolls! I’m glad you don’t listen to any of those negative comments! You know what’s best for your girls, so keep it up! Personally, I’m glad to be able to read your experience. I cave after my daughter cries for a half hour. And when I finally got the gumption to press through until she stops, my husband always “rescues” her. Very annoying! But your posts are inspiring me to persevere! I WILL succeed!
Keep up the good work! I absolutely agree with you that sleep training is mainly for the kids’ benefit. More sleep for us is a great side benefit. My kids (at 9) are so much more pleasant when they are well rested. Their bedtime is still on the early side (from what I hear from my friends – 8:30 p.m.) but any later and they are miserable the next day.
I was amazed that my daughter fell asleep faster when we just put her in her bed, compared to the circus act shenanigans we were attempting at every nap and night.
Keep up the good work, mama!
We’ve never done the sleep training stuff – we should have, I’m sure – but we don’t mind the whole co-sleeping thing for the first year or so.
I don’t know why people have to get their panties into such a wad over any of it. I mean, what works, WORKS, right? the most important thing is sleep, and even if sleep training *is* more for parents (not saying it is, I’m totally being hypothetical here), that is NOT TO BE SLIGHTED. Because sleep deprived parents make for crazy mean parents.
I’m really beginning to believe that I need to sleep train my 3.5 year old. I did move his bed time up by an hour recently and he is falling asleep faster and getting up later, but he still wakes up once a night and he will not go to bed alone someone has to lay with him 🙁
Sleep training is an amazing and very necessary thing for some babies. Others are natural born sleepers, but I suffered through many sleepless nights and tried everything else. Kids need to learn to sleep well because so much of their development (and happiness!) depends on getting a great night sleep. Good for you for doing what you believe is right. Every parent is different, and kudos to you for doing what you think is best for the kiddos!
Personally, I don’t think it needs to even be this complicated. I just stuck them in there(even removed pacifier), and they figure it out. They may cry(and cry and cry), and then they sleep through the night. They are happy and healthy. It IS what is best for them. Good luck with the next few days, but if I had to guess, babies are quick learners, and the worst of it is over.
So, I really want to do this, but I’m having a hard time getting the husband on board. He seems to be the softy of the parenting team. Any suggestions on how to get him to let me do this?
I experienced exactly the same thing when we sleep-trained my son. When we got bedtime down, he started sleeping through the night. And he hasn’t woken up ONCE since then (nearly 5 months ago!). He is a completely different child when he’s well-rested. He plays happily on the floor by himself, doesn’t mind getting his diaper changed, and doesn’t scream for his food. It’s miraculous.
How timely! We’ve decided it’s finally time to figure out sleep on our second. Our first one we pulled the paci and sleep trained all in one week when she was six months. This second (and last! I’m baby-ing her already!) just turned 11 months today. We’ve set a plan that’s not as hardcore as the one we did with number 1, and I’m thinking it’s sort of like a bandaid and wouldn’t I just prefer to do it quickly rather than extend the agony? Hmm… All to say, thank you for your posts. I follow on Instagram, and this is the first blog visit, purely for sleep purposes. It’s come at the absolute perfect time. Thank you!!
GAH! That’s so exciting!!
Do you think it would work with a defiant 6 yr old?
Best wishes on continued success Ilana!
I have a question, my daughter has always gone to sleep right away for naps/bedtimes, etc. But she ALWAYS wakes up at night. She’s almost a year and last night she woke up 5 times. I’m exhausted and I work, so I just want to sleep through the night. I can’t tell if she’s hungry, but sometimes I can hear her stomach growling when I go in (I feed her a meal before she goes to bed, too, and usually a 4 oz bottle because it soothes her to sleep). So every time she wakes up at night, I’m terrified she will do more than just cry a little so I make a bottle and give it to her and we both go back to sleep, I don’t mind doing it a few times, but 5 times just seemed ridiculous.
any suggestions from anyone?
Hours of circus act shenanigans! We did that too! Silly silly parents.
True. Some parents may do it for their own sanity and the amazing side effect is the well-rested child. Either way- it’s a win!
Amazing progress in just 2 nights!! Hang in there, you are doing an amazing job 🙂 kids are SO much happier when they have had enough sleep!
You should read my toddler sleep rehab post from last year. I did it with Mazzy. Way harder than sleep training a baby but it does work. As hard as it is, you have to stop lying in bed with him. If you don’t give him what he wants at night and are super consistent about it, he will stop coming to you for it. Good luck!
https://www.mommyshorts.com/2013/02/toddler-sleep-rehab.html
I hear you. We tried many sleep training methods with Mazzy and ultimately, what worked was putting her down and shutting the door with no check-ins or handholding whatsoever. My gut said that Harlow was different. I did the check-ins and they appear to be working. I only had to do one check-in last night before she was down, so there you go!
I am still going through this with you. However night 2 for me was better also, she only cried for 34 minutes and made it until 3am. 8 straight hours is unheard of! However, I gave in at 3am but put her back in her crib when she fell back asleep, but she let me! Both of the little ones were smiley happy and relaxed this morning. So glad I was ready to do this and you gave me the extra push to do it with you. lol 🙂 THANK YOU!!!
My husband is the softie too. With Mazzy, after trying and failing with my husband at home, I finally did it while he was away on a business trip. With Harlow this time, I made him take a walk around the neighborhood and called him when it was over. Worked like a charm! He was going to do the same thing last night but Harlow stopped crying before he made it out of the house.
Sleeping training went great for us last night. Put Kayleigh to bed at 8:30, cried a fake cry for 10 mins. (my husband and I were laughing because the cry was sooooo fake.) I did go in after 15 mins to make sure she didn’t poop because this seems to be a habit of hers. She did cry again for 10 mins and was out. Slept until 6 am this morning.
My husband had a talk with my mother-in-law about naps, working on that now.
You have inspired me to finally begin sleep training.I have been talking about it forever. Thank you!
Talk to Erin from Pickles & Ice Cream. I bet she would know what to do!
Laura, my daughter did the same thing. According to my doctor, there was no reason for her to eat during the night, but if she could get a meal and some attention out of it, why wouldn’t she? Her suggestion was to just give her water (with little attention) for a week and once she realized there wasn’t a meal coming she wouldn’t bother. She would still wake up, but knew not to expect a meal. After a week of that, we went into full sleep training mode. Worked like a charm.
Yay! So happy it’s working for you too!
Thanks, Liz. I’ll try tonight! 🙂
I had to sleep train my son and he slept through the night for one week, then he started waking up again and out of desperation I continued feeding him at night. We are sleep training again and when I go in to check on him he gets even more upset! I am not sure if I should check on him or just let him cry until he falls asleep?
More info my son is almost 8 months old, the doctor told me at 4 months that he needs to be sleeping through the night.
Sleep-training is, hands-down, the best thing I did as a parent for my son. The 12 hours of sleep every night benefits him and his development as well as our mental well-being. He wasn’t born a good sleeper, but sleep-training helped him beginning at 4 months. At age 5, he’s still a great sleeper. Your blog is encouraging me with dealing with our 2nd baby with an older child. Hope it continues to go well for you. Thanks!
I don’t know enough about this to know if you can make adjustments to the plan…. I’d like to try this with my 10 month old, but if he woke at say, 3 am like Harlow did, I’m not opposed to nursing him. He’s really small and refusing bottles from his sitter, so him nursing at night gives me peace of mind that he’s getting enough milk. I’d just like him to not eat every 2-3 hours!! Do you know if I could still successfully sleep train if I did ONE night feeding in the middle?
One question I have is how you sleep train in an apartment? We’ve held off trying because we live in a condo apt. and feel guilty that we’re disturbing the neighbors. Or should we just say “screw it” and let them put up with some crying for a few nights for the good of our son? I’ve also contemplated baking cookies and writing apology notes…
Nice!! So glad it’s working well for you all. We do a combo of co sleeping and crib sleeping until they’re weaned. Sleep training worked well with my first, but my second (evil baby glare Kadence) just really won’t do what she doesn’t want to do =P I’m finding that each one is so different in their love languages. With Kadence, It just broke her heart to be left alone crying and wouldn’t calm down. Sweet girl. . i think #3 here will be a great candidate once I’m up for the challenge. Again, I’m glad it’s working for you guys!
I think getting him comfortable in his crib at nap time and bedtime are a great start. Babies are only little once, and he probably needs/loves that time with you. The night feeding also keeps your supply up if you’re pumping during the day. Good luck!! Which ever you decide, you’re doing great 🙂
We brought newborn twins home to our townhouse with 4 college kids next door DURING finals week. We just warned them and they crashed downstairs in their living room if it bothered them. Most people in apartments are going to understand babies cry.
Good for you (and Harlow, of course)! The parents I know who sleep train at least in some shape or form have well-rested happy children. The parents I know who don’t sleep train at all have clingy, cranky children and the parents are usually cranky too because of lack of sleep. The proof is in the pudding! Most people completely underestimate the power and necessity of sleep, especially in children.
So glad it is going well. With that glorious gift of hindsight we were like “why didn’t we do this sooner?” both times we sleep trained but truth be told I wasn’t ready till I was ready. Eldest child was done in three nights so here’s hoping Harlow, who has mastered things quickly before, is done in two! Enjoy your happy dancing with those extra evening hours!
Plus you are totally right about training being for the child. It’s the point of the parenting thing… If people choose to do things differently that’s their choice (and we happily did co-sleeping with both ours early on so I get that too) but I can’t bear when different is judged and labelled as wrong in parenting when it’s patently obvious no two kids are the same. Glad you are rising above…
I feel like whether sleep training is awesome or not all depends on the kids. It was great for my brother & I, exactly what we needed. And many of my friends kids have done well with it too. My daughter, Cloe, on the other hand did not take well to sleep training at all. She spent a full week crying & getting herself so upset that she would hyperventilate & vomit in her bed…multiple times. We ended up co-sleeping for about a year (easier since I’m a single mom in a queen sized bed & there’s plenty of space for us both). Now she sits with me for about 20 minutes, wrapped in our “snuggle blanket” before asking for her big girl bed & goes in & sleeps all night without a fuss. She probably only gets 10.5-11 hours there, but with the 2 hour nap at her school it all evens out. I’ll be curious to see how any future children react to it. I’ll try to sleep train, as I did with Cloe, but who knows. It all depends on what’s right for your individual kid. I’m really glad things are going smoothly for you!!
Great job! Three days is usually our magic number. If they stick with it, by the third day, we are good to go. I agree, sleep training is for the kids more than the parents. A rested kid is a happy kid.
A Mayo-
I work will child up to age 8. You will see his behavior improve with more sleep.
Erin Meckfessel
Laura-
Please contact me at erin@sleepandbabyconsult.com. I am Mommyshorts sleep consultant. Waking 5 times a night isn’t good for you or your little girl.
Warmly,
Erin
Was Harlow still eating at night? I’m about to start sleep training, but my 6 mo eats to go to sleep…at bedtime, and the 4-8 times she wakes up in the middle of the night. I’m not sure if I should gradually night wean first?
I’ll definitely be coming back to these posts when it’s time to sleep train baby #4. We like to cosleep until about 10-12 months (a mix of baby in his own crib in our room, and sleeping with us), so we still have some time since he’s only 5 months old now. I like to wait a little longer than 8 months to night wean, and when we do, that’s when we start pushing independent sleeping. Every family is different and you need to do what works for you when you need to do it 🙂 With a couple of our older kids, it took my husband taking over the nighttime checks (i.e. no milk) to get them to learn to settle by themselves.
I did something very similar with my daughter but without knowing it was sleep training. I kinda of fumbled along the way because i didn’t have any real guidance on the subject. I didn’t know about sleep training. I wish I would have known it would have helped to be a little more educated on the subject and have a plan, and I didn’t completely remove co-sleeping all at once. It seemed to work for us.
But she is now 12 , but somethings haven’t changed. We still have a bed time routine, and I still tuck her into bed, and its lights out. I guess it worked. =)
And i wouldn’t worry about what others think. If it has worked for you, and you see the benefits to your daughter & family, that’s all that really matters. Every child, family, situation, is different and we should approach it as such and adjust as needed.
and .. HAPPY DANCE AWAY!!!
I just want to be a cheerleader here! I did sleep training with both my kids and they are now 3 and 6 and I wouldn’t change a thing. They are amazing sleepers, actually sleep in until 9:30 sometimes later if we let them and can sleep anywhere we put them down. I think you’re doing the right thing for your family, for your girls & you and your husband. Keep it up, it WILL be worth it!!
I live in NYC, have two daughters almost exactly the ages of your daughters, and am a pediatrician. I also am a HUGE PROPONENT of sleep training, but didn’t really do it this time around as my kids also are sharing a room (and none of the main kid sleep books address what to do in that situation, which is frustrating).
I discovered your blog via a friend several months ago, and have thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been frequently comforted by the reassuring similarities between the topics you write about and what my life is like (i.e., how sitting shotgun on a family trip is the worst job ever!)
So I wanted to say thank you for posting your sleep training plan and experience, and making yourself vulnerable to the naysayers, as people like me are truly benefitting from your posts!
We were in the same boat – in a loft condo and you can hear everything from neighboring units. We warned our neighbors and it wound up not being a problem. We put our (then) 7 month old down at 6:30pm, so any crying was early enough that it didn’t bother them. And, in the long run, our neighbors are probably happier now that our daughter sleeps 12hrs.
We are still worried about her temper tantrums (which are super loud and unpredictable) disturbing the neighbors.
Hi! I started along with you too! I have a 5yo who sleeps very well, but our 9mo (whose like 2 days apart from Harlow lol) liked being rocked, bounced, and then nothing was working.. First night went great, she cried for about 30 minutes, second night she only cried for about 10 minutes. I didn’t have as hard a time as you the first day but here’s to hoping we get through this! & thank you for not caring about all the nay- sayers, my family is filled with them.. Good Luck!!
PS. Love your blog!
I tried a bedtime routine with my four year old son -way past high time to do this!- that started at 7pm with bath and ended with him fast asleep about 15 minutes after lights out. One night in and I’m trying not to declare victory (oh, so sweet it feels!) so will keep up the routine and hopefully it catches on because a quiet house before 9pm is very unusual but I’m finding out is a necessary thing for parental sanity.
Also, facebook naysayers.. I’m not ‘for’ crying it out but I’m willing to admit different things work for different families and honestly I’m beginning to rethink my position where sleep is concerned if we have second child. I think every mother can say to themselves (and the internet world would be a much happier place): “I believe I am doing what is best for my family and they are doing what is best for their family. My opinion is ultimately not going to convince a MOTHER who firmly believes that they are doing the best thing for their family to change her mind”.
K? k.. let’s be nice ladies (especially on facebook) 🙂
Sleep Training was the best thing my husband ever insisted we do! Our son sleeps through the night in his own bed and we are all more rested because of it.
Yay! Good for you and Harlow!! That’s awesome. We sleep trained our son and transitioned him from falling asleep with me in our bed to putting him in his crib. He cried for approximately a minute and a half and was done. He sleeps very well and wakes up around 7am. The problem I have is my kids are going to bed way too late, around 9pm, sometimes even later than that. Bedtime is 8:30, but we rarely have them in bed by then. Problem #1, husband is in charge of baths and he doesn’t stick to the schedule. Problem #2, we get home late, dinner is usually around 7:30-8pm, so we’re exhausted after dinner and takes a while to get the night routine going. Problem #3, 7 yr-old daughter is a whiney mess in the mornings. I think the 3yr old boy is okay, he has a good demeanor, takes one nap at daycare and seems to be okay. Her, on the other hand, not so much. Sometimes she has trouble falling asleep and it’s really hard to get her up in the morning. She then wakes up in a horrible mood, cries about everything and moves at a snail’s pace.
Anyone else out there with late schedules? How do you get kids in bed earlier than 8:30 when you’re getting home at 6:30, making dinner, eating dinner an hour later. No matter what I make, it always takes me about an hour to prep, unless it’s hot dogs or chicken nuggets. Erin, any suggestions?
a bottle of wine is good too and I recommend starting on a Thursday.
Erin Meckfessel
Pickles & Ice Cream Sleep and Baby Consulting
Two thumbs for sleep training, which equals sanity. My daughter is asleep right now taking a nap due to sleep training.
Sadly, once vacation happens or a disruption in schedule, it’s back to square one to get the sleep rhythm back ie retraining.
I read Dr. Ferber’s book and it just seemed to make so much sense. It clicked with me and how I want to raise my son, which is to be independent and self-reliant (although I’ll ALWAYS be there for him). I think people who are naysayers just don’t really understand what it’s about and that you can alter these plans to suit your comfort level. I was lucky, my son didn’t for reals cry when I put him in his crib. He just half-assed it so it wasn’t hard for me to let him cry it out.
Hi, It’s a tough call but you can make the change. I recommend that you prep dinner over the weekend or after you put the kids down for the next day. Also, why not do baths or showers in the AM? I recommend a 7:30-8:00pm bedtime as it is clear that your children are overtired. Hope this helps.
I am so glad you are having positive results. You have to do what works for you. Glad you aren’t listening to the negative people out there and SOOO glad you are willing to document and share this with everyone. Good luck with night 3!!
Oh LAWDY.
Okay, let me say this… Putting your kid into a routine is not torturing them. It’s not abuse. Those trolls need to go back to their caves.
Let me tell you what happens, from personal experience, if you don’t get your kids into the routine of sleeping on their own now: You will wake up and look at the clock and see that an hour before you need to get the kids up for kindergarten, there is a dogpile in the middle of your bed because that’s the only way you can guarantee that they’ll sleep enough for the teacher not to make comments like, “She seems really tired during the day” and my personal favorite, “She’s becoming a behavioral problem in class; have you talked to the doctor about ADD?”
My stepdaughter co-slept with her mother until she was five (right about when I got my hooks into her and put that girl on a routine) because the mother had separation anxiety that apparently included the hallway of their home as being “too far away” from her baby.
It took me one week to get this child to sleep in her own bed, on time, without fuss. One week. I’m no great guru here, but I’m telling you that my now 9yo puts HERSELF to bed promptly at 8pm and if she goes to bed even fifteen minutes later, she looks like a zombie in the morning.
Routines are every bit as important for the kid as they are for the parent. Sleep being one of the most essential ones that you can teach them.
MLK –
I highly, highly recommend doing dinner prep on the weekends if you can manage it. My hubby doesn’t get home til 7ish most nights, and bedtime’s at 8pm, so if I’m out and he’s responsible for the kids, they eat a later snack and then a late dinner.
When I grocery shop, I buy only the items I’ll need for the week’s menu (usually planned by the sales flyers and shopped for on a Sunday), and upon returning home, before putting anything anyway, I prep all my dinners: chopping, parboiling, washing, measuring out noodles, etc. Prep is usually the most work in a meal.
Choose your meals carefully for the week since you know you’ll be in late. There’s LOTS of books out there with 15-min healthy meals in them. Buy one! Try out some recipes on your family 🙂 Good luck!
Good! I know, no 2 kids are exactly the same. I have 2 that couldn’t be more different. 🙂
I’ll throw my hat into the ring here, too, A Mayo… It definitely does work with older children, but you have to be more persistent and not allow their attempts at manipulation to get to you 🙂 Good luck!
Thank you Erin!! Showers in the AM have proved a bit difficult, but that might also be because they’re too tired! I’m definitely going to start prepping food in advance. Their sleep is too important. Thank you Dy for your suggestions as well!
You know, I’ve been putting off the prep thing because I’m too disorganized myself to do that, but I’ll have to get with it. That is such a good idea to do the washing and chopping as soon as you get back from the store. I’m just remembering someone else’s idea to open protein packages, throw in marinade, bag and freeze. Thank you!
Sleep training was THE hardest thing I have ever done (to date). BUT the pay off was worth it! It was AWFUL to hear my son cry, I too would literally leave the house and go to the back yard and check back every 5 minutes. He eventually would stop crying and fall asleep sitting up. It lasted about 5 days, then he did it on his own!
HANG IN THERE!!!!!
Yay, I posted on your day one and we had started at the same time by coincidence! But yea my daughter has been going to sleep amazing ly awesome. She wimpers now at bedtime maybe last 5 minutes she is out. She didn’t even cry when she woke up at 3 am for a change and a quick nurse. I’d like to get rid of this feeding but not sure if I should push it yet since she is doing so good for bed times. Anyhow, YES she has been doing awesome too! I am happier and so is Lil Emily. BTW this is my 4th child lol I have never done this with any of my other kids and they are amazing sleepers just fyi. I have however hit a notch today, for nap time she isn’t going down as easily as I’d like :/ I hope she falls asleep soon.
People are such jerks online. I’m glad you are shrugging off the trolls. Before I was a parent (now mom of a 5mo), I was totally against CIO. Now, I feel differently. We haven’t done a “straight up” CIO, but we definitely use some elements of it, and now I understand why they are valuable for mom AND baby. Congratulations on what looks like the beginning of success, and good for you for sticking with what’s right for your family!
Sleep training is the best thing ever. Your kids need sleep, you need a break to be a good mom, and while it’s hard to hear I have done it with two kids now and I always wish I had done it sooner. Go you for doing what’s right for your kids.
I wouldn’t call it sleep training but rather teaching your child good habits. I really believe it is our jobs as parents to help them establish good nap and bedtime habits. I know it is hard and can depend on the baby, my son would never nap at daycare long when he was in the infant room, too much going on. But I was very firm on bedtime and when he was at home he had his nap times. Thankfully, he is napping now that all the toddlers nap at the same time. But I made sure he had a good routine on the days he is home with us. Yes it stinks when he has to go to bed at 6:30pm on Friday and we want to go out to dinner, but this is a temporary thing, eventually he will start to stay up a little later and we can do those kinds of things.
My brothers kid has no sleep habits and is always a mess. She is always over tired, clingy, and fussy kid. I feel bad for her because she is the product of not getting enough sleep. I am thankful my friend sent me a sleep book while I was pregnany. It was the best advice.
It is so wonderful to have the support of pediatrician. I have been honored to work with a lot of pediatricians around the country. I have had such a wonderful experience both learning from peds like you but giving their patients (parents) options for a better nights sleep. If you have any questions about your two daughters sharing a room please contact me.
Warmly,
Erin Meckfessel
erin@sleepandbabyconsult.com
Oooh, that’s a decent idea, MLK – I hadn’t thought about prepping the marinades like that, too. I tend to plan our proteins from the most…erm…breakable/quickest to die (?) to the least, so if I have fish, chicken, and beef for the week, I cook the fish that night, the chicken the next night, and the beef the following night. Just remember – proteins should never sit in the fridge for more than 3 nights in a row 🙂
The only thing that bothers me is that ANY one would try to argue child abuse. I am not on your facebook page, so I did not read any of the comments, but seriously? Here is my perspective from a mom with three who are ages 11-17. I did not “sleep train” my oldest until she was almost 18 months old. After that, I did not do a program, just the baby and I figured it out. I will say it was because if I did not get my sleep, I was not a good mom. Period. But I saw the happy results years following. I had a very good friend that was still having issues with her kids and not sleeping through the night at the age of 10. I don’t understand that at all. Kids needs limits and guidelines, even with sleep. It is ok for a parent to set the tone and not have the child decide. There are exceptions, obviously (sickness, nightmares). I am not a perfect parent and have no idea still how messed up my kids are from my parenting. And I believe good kids are as much from luck as good parenting skills (heck, my good kids are probably all from luck!). But making my kids figure out the sleep thing? Yeah, I will stand by that decision.
My brain hurts from trying to get through your FB comments. Wow. We tried sleep training with my son and it really, really did not work (crying until 4am when I finally gave in, he fell asleep holding my hand within 2 minutes). However, he still (at 5) does not sleep well. When my daughter was born, we knew right away that she would do much better with sleep training, and she did. She prefers to fall asleep on her own, sleeps much better (and later!) than her brother. It’s a bit of a crap shoot, but I’m so glad we did it with our daughter.
Child abuse haha… that’s hysterical.
Look, I have friends that do the whole co-sleep-and-nurse-them-until-they-are-22-years-old bit, and I don’t say a word. To each their own. We all love our kids. Whatevs.
But my own kids? They got 2 weeks. Two weeks in our room, in a bassinet. After that they got their own room and a routine. By six months old, I stopped feedings at night. By one year, they got a small cup of water before bed.
I NEVER varied from their bedtime routine (I was especially strict about time — we left so many parties early) and you know what? My kids are champion sleepers. LIKE THEY WIN FIRST PLACE IN THE GOOD SLEEPER CONTEST.
They are now 4 and 8 years old respectively, they both go to bed at 8 pm during the school year (8:30 in the summer) and they wake up at 7. They never get up at night. AND, I might add, neither has ever had trouble with peeing the bed, nightmares, etc.
At my house, everyone gets lots of sleep, and is better off for it.
PS: I’m truly interested to know what the justification is for calling sleep training child abuse. Is it because you are letting your kid cry? Because honestly? Whoever thinks the goal of parenting is to make sure your children are always happy and comfortable is in for a very rude awakening someday. Good luck with that. Hope I never run across your kid-turned-asshole-adult.
Our saving cookbook was The Six O’Clock Scramble. (named for the scramble to get dinner on the table when you walk in at 6 pm).
Totally changed my life. And husband’s. Thankfully he cooks too, but now (most weeks), we have a plan, we’ve done the grocery shopping on the weekend, the recipes don’t require a lot of prep but also don’t rely on too much pre-processed stuff. That was my complaint with the Real Simple series (have several).
My son is 1 year old he usually sleeps the whole night but falls asleep most of the time in my arms right after drinking his milk. Today he had dinner later than usual so no bottle before going to bed and put him down while fully awake. He cried for 20 mins and then fell asleep. I still feel guilty about it. But he is getting the idea, I know. The Blog helped me stick with it. The real problem is the naps, he is used to fall asleep in our arms, that is me, my husband and/or the nanny. Can anyone tell me what technique to use so he can nap on his own ? He is so heavy and strong that is so hard to keep helping him to nap. And I know it is healthier for him to nap on his own as well.
After three babies in one year, two being twins, I can say sleep trained early on. I would go in and rub their back, leg or arm. I also woke sleeping babies up. When one of my twins would wake for a feeding, I’d wake the other up to eat too. I would leave babies in the car and because it took three trips to get them and groceries in the house. One trip for my barely walking oldest, second trip for two car seats, third trip for bags. I was criticized on a mommy board for this because I should have waited till dad got home after working overtime and then gone to the store. He worked twelve hour days and still does most times. We lived in a new state with no relatives. It was me trying to do most of it and making the best of it. My point is that we as parents do the best we can with what we can in the best interest of our children. My kids don’t bear mental scars from sleep training or waiting in the car while I sprint back and forth. From your posts, it is clear you adore your children. There will always be peopke who judge others harshly but as I tell my kids no one is perfect…and everyone poos and it all stinks and to remember that when someone acts like they are better.
I should add that my babies were left in the car for less than a minute while I unloaded everyone and everything. They weren’t left out there to chill while mama watched her shows. It was me scrambling like crazy to get us all in as quick as possible.
Sometimes if I know dinner is running late I or my husband get the kids in the bath or shower while I’m getting dinner ready. Then they can eat in their pajamas (with a bib!) and you have a head start on the bedtime thing.
I’ve done that with one child lol you go mama!
Do brief naps in the car get factored in to sleep training schedules? My daughter is out like a like after 15 minutes in the car and I’ve been trying to get her on a nap schedule, so I’m leery of driving anywhere that’s more than 10 mins away and less than an hour away-feels like a never ending math equation some days!
Ok, one big question is when and how does dinner happen by 6:30? Disclosure: I work full time and am considering sleep training my 29 and 8.5 month old children.
Thank you for these two posts! I absolutely love all the details about how it went. I’ve got a 17 month old and am pregnant with our second; they’ll be two years apart and will absolutely have to share a room (tiny urban living, etc). My toddler is an amazing sleeper, so I’m anxiously hoping her schedule and sleep are not impacted by a new baby. I really appreciate you risking the “trolls” to tell the rest of us that it CAN be done.
This was so inspiring! I started sleep training my 4.5 month old 2 nights ago and this was just what I needed for reas. It helps to have instructions because it’s hard to hear them cry! Owen is doing great and slept 8 hours last night! I have a question though, what did pickles and icecream tell you to do about naps. He only cried for 10 min and fell asleep for his nap today but only slept for 30 min. Does that count as a whole nap or do I let him cry it out more?
Oh my god- you have given me hope! Maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel?! Now I just have to train my husband to let me try this lol!
I want to thank you for sharing this. My son had gotten so use to me holding him to fall asleep that at 10, after only sleeping for two hours, he would be up, and sometimes I would not get to bed until midnight. I get up at 530 am to go to work, so when he woke up again at 2am, it was just easier to take him into bed. The very first night of sleep training my son slept all night and so did I. It was great. I only started this a month ago, he is now 15 months old and all I do to get him to sleep is read him a story and sing him a song. Thank you very much from a very appreciative mom.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I’ve read a lot of blogs and sites and yours felt like my exact thoughts/concerns. It’s nice to feel like I’m not alone. I’m on day one of sleep training and it is so painful! My baby has always slept so well (starting from the time we brought her home). However, we have been going through a major regression and now wakes every 3/3.5 hours. She definitely wants to be rocked and held to sleep! She’s always had bad reflux so I’ve been hesitant but we need to appropriately train her so the poor thing can get the sleep she needs! I hope I’m as successful as you by day two.
Just a quick question about your sleep training experience. I’m just someone who found you through Google and am trying to adapt your sleep training techniques, because my beautiful child is trying to kill me. I had adapted it once prior to being able to crawl and pull herself up, but then she started daycare and got sick and we started a vicious cycle of co-sleeping. that was 6 weeks ago. I’ve yet to sleep since. I’ve tried again and she is at the point of standing in the corner of her bed like Harlow, but my struggle is when she finally quits, she goes to sleep sitting up. The booger won’t lay herself down! And when I try to assist, it just starts everything over and since it’s been nearly 2 hours, it seems easier to bring her to my bed. Did you ever struggle with this? If so, how did you handle?
Did you continue the same night sleep and nap times after sleep training or did you just look for signs of tiredness and then proceed to put her to sleep?
This is not how sleep training should be done. It can traumatise a child for life. They have no other way to communicate. Imagine being in a traumatising situation, screaming your lungs out for help. no one comes, you are crying so much but no one comes. That is what you child’s mind is going through, your child is in distress and if you aren’t sleeping there are other methods. A lady Tracy from the link above helped me with my baby. She is God sent I swear! There were no tears from my baby. She now sleeps through and wakes up for 1 feed, she then falls back asleep by herself