The photo above is Mazzy at our much-needed mother-daughter lunch that I talked about last week (thank you all for your comments and advice).
I wish I could say it went swimmingly but it went exactly how restaurant outings always go with Mazzy— fun until five seconds in, when she realizes she is confined to a table and chair for the duration of the meal.
Then I have to keep her occupied drawing on menus and counting change and playing "I Spy" until the pizza arrives, except the pizza is too hot and she has to wait that out too.
Then when I attempt to put a slice on her plate, she starts screaming like there's a ghost on top of it when in actuality its just a piece of basil.
So I pick off all the basil from the entire pizza, cut up the slice into tiny bite-size pieces and by the time I'm done, the pizza is not only cold but now completely lost its novelty and Mazzy just wants to go home.
And I'm left there thinking things like— WHY ARE YOU RUINING THE QUALITY TIME I'M TRYING TO SPEND WITH YOU????
Honestly, lunch didn't matter. The real mother-daughter magic came when I picked her up from school. She was so excited to see me there, she ran out screaming "MOMMMY!!!!" and practically knocked me over with her hug.
Even though lunch wasn't exactly "a fun time", I do think it made an impact on both of us, as far as Mazzy feeling like Mommy was paying attention to her. For our next one-on-one time, I'm going to take some advice left on my fanpage by Jenny B. She said to have Mazzy choose the mother/daughter activity herself.
Hopefully, Mazzy won't ask me to sit on the couch next to her while she watches Dora the Explorer.
OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU KEEP TURNING ONTO YOUR STOMACH EVERY TWO MINUTES AT NIGHT WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT LIKE THAT POSITION?????
IF YOU HAVE TIME TO READ A BOOK OR TWO…
Two more blogger books came out this week. Yes, I know, I'm talking about a lot of books lately. But it seems the publishing world has recently caught on to all the awesome content being created online and wants a piece. (They haven't caught on to my content yet, but I'll pretend I like flying under the radar.)
The first is Jill Smokler's "Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies)".
I asked people on my fanpage to tell me the lies they were told about motherhood and here are my three favorite answers.
" 'It's the most rewarding job there is.' That only applies half the time. The other half we spend trying to figure out how to run away." – Kathy
" 'You will glow during pregnancy.' Uh…I only glowed under the McDonald's light while snarfing their apple pies." – Kerry from HouseTalkN
" 'Savor EVERY moment when they are young as its precious and you will never get it back.' Umm… my preschooler tells me at least five times a day that I "make her crazy" and I'm "ruining her life". Most nights I savor bedtime!" – Heather
The second book is How to Be a Dad's "The Guide to Baby Sleep Positions: Survival Tips for Co-Sleeping Parents". Check out the first ten positions below:
In the next few weeks, I've got launches for three more blogger books so please make room on your night stand. That is, if there isn't already a baby sleeping there.
THE NEWEST JAMES BOND VILLAIN
Lastly, because everyone loved my photoshopped pictures of Harlow yesterday, I decided to do one more.
Remember the photo I posted on facebook where it looked like Harlow was about to have me fired? Or call upon me to do a service for "the family" some day in the future?
Someone suggested she should be petting a fluffy white cat in that photo, like Ernst Stavro Blofeld in the early James Bond movies.
Well, here you go…
Now imagine that baby breaking out of her swaddle, flipping herself over and screaming for your attention at all hours of the night.
Scary, scary, stuff.
Take a moment and join me on facebook (it's fun there, I promise!) and have a good weekend!
— Mommy Shorts