The photo above was submitted by Erin, who tried to pawn off her kids to the Clauses for the holidays, but was met with objection from everybody involved.

Maybe the little guy wasn't happy with his gift. He was hoping for a teddy bear that didn't look like it was just fished out of a dumpster. And Mrs. Claus looks like she might give Santa a Christmas Ultimatum. You know, the kind that comes from her divorce lawyer.

What exactly is happening in this frameable holiday photo? Write your best captions in the comment section below. For clarity's sake, let's name the kids. I'm calling the boy "Stripes" and the girl "Pink", until further notice.

Spending the Holidays with People I want to Punch in the Throat eBook Cover (2)Winner will get a copy of the brand new book, "Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat" (pictured left) by none other than Jen of the popular blog "People I Want to Punch in the Throat". Are you starting to understand the title now?

In it, you will read classic Christmas stories like, "You Can Keep Your Cookies, I'm Just Here for the Booze", "Hey Santa, Keep Your Yuletide Log to Yourself" and everyone's childhood favorite, "Over-achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies". The book recounts Jen's lifelong love/hate relationship with Christmas (you can purchase it here), which probably all started with a photo very similar to the one above.

I bet Stripes writes a book one day. It will be called, "The Day Santa Made My Sister Puke On Herself". I can already see the dollar signs disguised as Christmas spirit.

This contest will be judged by both Jen and me and the winner (aka the Caption Contest Queen) will be crowned on Friday, at a very fancy holiday party that exists solely in my head. Adele will be there singing Christmas carols, Jonathan Adler is in charge of decor and previous Top Chef winners will be serving a five course holiday feast fit for Tom Colicchio and Gayle Simmons— so you really don't want to miss it. 

Enter as many times as you like.

Good luck!


If you have a funny holiday photo, post it on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. I will caption on Friday!