As I mentioned yesterday, visiting Mike's cousins (aka "the chickens") was just STOP #1 on our road trip.
On Friday morning, we continued the drive north to Silver Lake where we spent the weekend in a cabin with Mike's college friends.
The important thing to note about this trip is that I had absolutely no part in its planning whatsoever. I was told it was happening, was asked to come along ("asked" is a loose term) and obliged.
In fact, I don't think any of the women involved in the trip were privy to the details or part of the email exchanges. It was a purely husband-operated event.
Thus, several creature comforts and standard amenities were missing from our lodging accomodations.
Namely, bedrooms and bathrooms.
We were THREE COUPLES with FIVE KIDS staying in a house with exactly ONE BEDROOM and ONE BATHROOM.
I'm not even sure "bedroom" is an accurate term for an attic that resembles my bunk at sleepaway camp but that's what we'll call it.
But that's not all. Are you aware of THE TEN PLAGUES OF EGYPT? Blood, boils, frogs, hail, etc. etc. designed to anger the pharoah of Egypt into letting the Jewish people go (or something like that)?
I am calling the following "The Ten Plagues of Silver Lake". Who was out to get us and why, I have no idea.
1. NO INTERNET ACCESS
This was a tough one for me. I actually had to READ A BOOK when faced with free time. But it was even harder for Mazzy who is used to accessing her shows through YouTube. Would you believe that she actually woke up at 3am and screamed, "iPAD!!!!!"? (It's true.)
2. DARKNESS
When you turn out the lights in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself in complete and utter darkness. When you are sleeping in the same room as eight other people, you do not have the freedom to flip a switch (if you can even find the switch) when your daughter wakes up in the middle of the night with a wet diaper that leaked through her PJs. Finding wipes, a new diaper and fresh pajamas and then completing the change with only your child's piercing screams to guide you? Really fucking hard.
3. CRYING OF THE FIRSTBORN
I believe I covered this in both #1 and #2 but I will add that Mazzy wasn't the only one screaming in the middle of the night. Every family had at least one child who woke up in some sort of Elmo-induced nightmare and made sure every person in the room was sufficiently awake before drifting off back to sleep.
4. UNEVENLY STEEP STAIRS
Even better was the sheer drop on one side and the three kids under three who wanted nothing more than to climb up and down them all day long.
5. EXPOSED NAILS
What's scarier than navigating the stairs above to get to the only bathroom located downstairs in the middle of the night? How about the 1500 exposed nails sticking straight out of the walls where your precious children are playing and sleeping?
I kid you not— they were EVERYWHERE.
It rained. A LOT. (Although, I'll admit, sleeping in the attic of a cabin during an all-night torrential downpour is kind of cool.)
7. FOOD POISONING
Oh? Did I mention the food poisoning? Three of us got it (including me) from cheeseburgers at a stock car race (yes, you read that right) on Friday night. I'm not gonna go into much detail except to remind you that there was ONLY ONE BATHROOM. Suffice to say, I spent a lot of the weekend, HERE:
Bonus Detail: the bathroom was located directly off the main living room so everybody knew exactly what you were doing and for how long.
9. FIVE YEAR-OLD GIRLS
Two of the girls at the house were five years-old and best friends. Of course, Mazzy wanted to play with them more than anything. They both did more than their part to humor her but as her mom, it was kind of sad to watch her try so hard to involve herself when clearly, she was just not on their level. She constantly ran up to them when they were in the middle of some big girl activity yelling, "What are we doing, guys?!" Only to be met with blank stares. Oh, my aching heart.
The bathroom had a shower with no tub. Mazzy would rather give up Calliou than take a shower. We made due with swims in the lake and washcloth wipedowns. Survivor-style.
10. THE MACARENA
Apparently, in small towns in upstate New York, the Macarena is not only alive and well but it is danced en masse at something called the "Corral Summer Concert Series" every Saturday night.
Also. When your daughter runs up on stage to "participate", you must "participate" with her.
Oy.
Despite all of the above (even the food poisoning), we had a fantastic time. Well, "fantastic" might be stretching it… but I love all the people who went on the trip, Mazzy had a blast and I would do it again.
Except maybe the wives will pick the accomodations next time.
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Please feel free to share your worst family "vacation" accommodations in the comment section below.
That’s scary.
You ate stock car burgers?
ONE bathroom? Shit.
It looks… charming. I don’t even let my husband pack our bag to go to the pool for the day. Kudos to you for riding that ride. 🙂
You are a better spouse than I am! I am thankful though that my husband is just as pick as I am in terms of accommodations (ie a 3-star is ‘camping’). Really… everyone slept in the same room? wow! Almost like sister-wives, but each with their own husband. Kiddos for making it through the weekend!!
So Mike plans the perfect trip – for a blogger anyway! – with enough fodder to cover both laughter and tears …. he’s thoughtful like that! A keeper I say. P.S. Two best (worst!) items? The food poisoning … I drive home when I feel the urge, this is my nightmare at it’s best! And the girl trio with M always being odd kid out – oh, I could FEEL your pain as you witness but just can’t fix the age gap …
Holy moly, that sounds…like an adventure. I’m pretty sure I’d cry, too! I don’t know if I have anything to even compare to that – I really, really don’t.
City Slicker!!
Six adults and five kids sleeping in one bedroom? Yikes. Throw in one bathroom for everyone and that’s pretty much my version of hell. Glad you had a good time, despite the less than ideal circumstances. I? Would’ve killed me husband. Killed him dead. The end.
I just had a weird reaction to the left-out of the 5-year olds’ circle thing, a weird throat noise “guh” and then some sort of salty liquid in my eyes.
You are what my college boyfriend’s frat brothers would call “a full treat and a half” for not only enduring this weekend, but calling it almost fantastic.
Yep. Sounds like hell, I have to say. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right? Or some shit like that.
Happy to say we haven’t had a nightmare family holiday yet… but never say never. In 11 days, we’re heading to Australia. My youngest is Mazzy’s age and she’s a real firecracker, so I’m pretty sure that the 15-hour flight there and back is going to qualify as hell. What doesn’t kill me…
Always fun to be in a bathroom and know you have a captive audience just outside the door.
Okay… I TOTALLY feel for ya here. I can only imagine the fun involved in sharing one bathroom between 5 little girls (they did look like all 5 kids were girls) and 3 grown women (not to mention the men). I am sorry about the food poisoning. No good for sure.
As for my worst vacation accommodations? Well… it wasn’t so much the accommodations as it was the whole darn vacation. But the accommodations did play a roll in it. I will give you a VERY condensed version, then you can check my blog for the full story.
*Months of planing this vacation were wasted- last minute change of venue
*Visiting a grandmother dying of cancer. Staying at my cousins house.
*Had a potty accident in the car ALMOST to our destination
*Oldest (6 years) gets the flu (so the point of the trip is null- can’t take a sick kid to visit a chemo patient).
*Husband had to leave to go home early for work (leaving me alone with three kids)
*Managed to lock myself out of my cousins house with my 1 year old and passed out sick 6 year old inside.
*I was in pajamas, braless, with no shoes, and no phone.
*Had to break in (causing damage to the window).
*A 12 hour drive home with a sick 1 year old with no ability to tell you when he is gonna hurl.
*The 3 year old, mom, and dad all get sick once home from the trip.
For the whole sorry sad and SICK tale, click here: (each day of the trip was documented separately… for good reason). http://pcdub.blogspot.com/2011/06/family-reunion-part-1-through-friday.html
We just got back from a trip to visit family and we stayed in my uncle’s old house which is in a little neighborhood off a lake that was built to be vacation homes but are now lived in year round by people who can’t afford better houses. Each home is tiny and equipped with very small septic systems (because they were only intended to be used in the summer). So Rule #1 was only flush for #2’s. Awesome – now we’re back home and I’m having to remind my small children to please flush always, period.
I would have rallied the other moms/wives and kids into fleeing to the nearest hotel/resort, nearest being used loosely, several hours away would have sufficed.
You know, I always complain that I have to do all the travel planning and arrangements – NO MORE!
As side from apologizing for my terrible spelling… I must say there is something pretty special about city living! I’m a suburban Canadian who moved to urban Switzerland and I LOVE it! We get out a lot more and explore the city on foot (now that might have something to do with living in a small flat and not owning a car)… either way I love this lifestyle so I can understand not wanting to leave NYC!
Oh my gosh, how sad that THIS is what the boys picked for that many ppl including kids! Guess it DOES make for memories. I can’t imagine all those dangerous things — stairs, nails, and food poisoning, sorry! And so sad about the 5 yr olds not taking an interest in Mazzy. It was natural of them. I’m sure Mazzy is great!
If it’s yellow, let it mellow … 🙂
Oh my – you have me in stitches! My friend just emailed your post to me after complaining to her at the gym this morning about the travel arrangements that my husband just made. We are off to a wedding this weekend – at a camp ground. We have a 4.5 year old and 2 year old and the ONLY time that I went “away” was to give birth to my 2 year old – pathetic, I know! Anyway, I’ve been thrilled about going away with my husband for much needed time alone, and excited about a reunion (sans kids) with college friends. I neglected to book a hotel and left that part up to my husband. When I asked him two night ago (4 days before the wedding) about what lovely “inn” he booked for us, he proceeded to excitedly tell me that the groom arranged to have us stay in the cabin on the camp grounds. The one that I specifically remember described as “roughing it” on the wedding website. A ONE ROOM cabin, with multiple bunk beds – where guests were told to bring bug spray, a pillow case and bottled water. When I asked him if he was “kidding” her proceeded to rattle off about 15 names of “college dudes” that would be sleeping in the same room with us. The 25 year old me, would have gone for this. The now 34 year old (migraine-sufferer) me, said “hell the F no!”. I booked a hotel immediately and all of this resulted in an argument. I too, will handle travel arrangements from now on!
Oh, that sting of watching your kid try to fit in and it not working, I know that one. You’re a trouper for ending this on a positive note. Did you check for ticks?
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