For instance, remember how I said I would be shocked if Mike remembered to get me anything? Well, I was so wrong! He totally remembered to give me something! His full blown sinus infection! Thanks, sweetie!
But clogged nasal passages aside, I really had a lovely weekend. Well, expect for the MURDER part, but I'll get to that in a minute…
First, Mazzy's preschool held a Mother's Day breakfast on Friday where I took one of my favorite pictures of Mazzy. (Notice the handmade Fruit Loops necklace.)
Then there was the unexpected emergence of my never-before-seen alter-ego "SUPERMOM", who comes up with fabulously creative ideas to get her kid to do what she wants.
Don't want to take a bath?
How 'bout a bubble bath tea party?!
How 'bout we make our own Blue's Clues and hide them around the apartment?!
I swear— I was like MARY FUCKING POPPINS this weekend and normally, I am closer to Ted Danson in "Three Men and a Baby" so I was quite pleased with myself.
And finally, there was Sunday's actual Mother's Day Festivities. (That's Mazzy with my mother-in-law below brunching at Mike's cousins' house in Brooklyn.)
Mike's cousins have a brownstone with a kitchen that opens up to an enclosed backyard that leads into a music room. (All of the people on that side of the family inherited some magical music gene that bypassed my husband completely.)
Plus they have two dogs and a cat.
So Mazzy was like a PIG IN SHIT.
Chasing the dogs, harassing the cat, playing the piano, banging on the drums, eating bagels, running outside unattended, etc.
Now we get to the MUDEROUS part of the day.
After our walk, we went back to my apartment where Mike had just picked up fresh lobsters for dinner. Fresh lobsters being LIVE LOBSTERS, in case you have never had the pleasure of cooking them at home (or seeing Annie Hall).
Mike let the lobsters crawl around on the floor to see Mazzy's reaction.
Then she narrated for everyone as Mike placed each one in the pot.
"You put the lobsters in the pot?"
"Yep, so we can boil them to death and end your childhood with a metal cracker and a tiny fork!"
Mazzy didn't truly understand what was going on until she saw the lobsters on our plates.
"Yes, and now we will tear them apart with our bare hands and dip them in melted butter!"
Mazzy was wide-eyed and refused to sit down at the table. Even though Grammy repeatedly assured her that "lobsters are delicious."
"Would you like to try it?
"Are you sure? Lobsters are delicious…"
"No lobster. I want bread!" Mazzy was adamant.
Next Mother's Day, I am planning on taking her to a slaughterhouse followed by a steak dinner.
It's gonna be a hoot!
But the very best part of Mother's Day came after dinner.
My mom and I were sitting on the couch as Mike-itis continued to take full effect on my ears, nose and throat.
"Do you want to lay your head in my lap?" my mom asked me.
Mazzy stood by and watched this scene with confusion.
"Whatcha doin'?" she asked with her same wide-eyed-you-just-murdered-a-lobster look.
"You see, Mazzy," Grammy explained. "Mommy is MY baby."
Mazzy continued to stare.
"Can I hug her too?"
"Of course you can!"
With that, Mazzy climbed up into my arms, snuggled down next to me on the couch and gave me the tightest hug ever.
Then she looked right at Grammy and said…
"Mommy is MY baby."
And that my friends, is one very happy Mother's Day.
What was the best part of your Mother's Day?