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I have something shocking to report. It's 9:45pm on Monday night and this is the first time I have opened my laptop all weekend. 

I attribute it to three things:

1) a really good weekend

2) a newfound desire to have more time offline

3) Instagram (taking and posting pictures on your iPhone doesn't count as online, does it?)

Seriously. Instagram is my new favorite toy. I think it's the best thing since nap time. Since nutella and banana on toast. Since Emily taking the guys on super lame mom dates on The Bachelorette.

Below is my Memorial Day Weekend- told through Instagram photos. Which is to say— totally stylized pictures which have little resemblence to how things looked in my actual life.

We drove out to the Hamptons on Friday to stay at Grammy's house. There are no pictures to document the trip since Mazzy and I both spent the entire time sleeping. Car trip success!

On Saturday we went to a BBQ at my friend Seri's house who has a son in Mazzy's preschool class as well as a party planning business for small spaces. (Check her out at Little Miss Party.)

The dads took the kids in the pool while the moms lazed around drinking homemade lemonade, trying our best not to to scream things like, "Mike! She's running towards the deep end!!! You have to be faster! Why aren't you more on top of it!!!??? MAZZZZZZYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Or maybe that was just me.

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After lunch, two things happened. 

1) Mazzy KICKED ASS at football.

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2) Banana Pudding and Snickers Pie from Magnolia Bakery. I finished my plate. And might have finished Mazzy's too. Shhhhh.

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For the record, I brought Peach Pie from the Farmer's Market which may as well have been a plate of crudite next to the two delicious excuses to gain 20 pounds in one afternoon pictured above.

We left full, exhausted and with summer home envy (Seri's house is awesome).

On Sunday morning, it was raining so my mom and I took Mazzy to the Aquarium, where there was a butterfly and bird exhibit.

Mazzy loved getting up close and personal with the "birdies" and "blutterflies" while I discovered that if you take photos close enough and crop them within an inch of their lives, it won't look like we spent the day in a totally manufactured flourescent-lit environment. (That's how movies are made, right?)

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On Monday, we took Mazzy to the local high school to go running. I had visions of us all jogging around the track together (I mean, the girl makes us chase her daily on the sidewalks of Manhattan) but Mazzy was much more interested in the football field. 

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She also had a blast jumping on the "BIG GREEN BED!"/high jumping pads.

In the end, we all got a workout even though it wasn't the one I intended. 

The rest of the day was spent taking Mazzy in and out of the pool. She'd stay in there until her lips were blue and shivering or until the person tasked with making sure she didn't drown was about to drop dead from exhaustion. 

But Mazzy could not get enough of the water.

She loves to stand at the edge of the pool, scream some crazy version of "Ready! Set! Go!" that sounds more like "Eek! Aah! Yaaaaaaaaaa!" and jump as high and far as her little legs will let her. 

Never doubting that Mommy or Daddy will be there to catch her. 

And of course, we always are. 

Even if one of us is two catches away from throwing her back out. 

Someone pass the advil.

(But I'd still do it again.)

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(If you want to follow me on Instagram, I'm @mommyshorts. I promise to keep it cute and colorful.)

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What did you all do this weekend?

UPDATE: The photo of the car at the top of the post was taken because I thought the red, white and blue was appropriate for the holiday. I had no idea it was Herbie the Lovebug until someone pointed it out in the comment section below. I feel like I failed at television.