I've been talking a lot about the difficulty of raising a two-year-old. The video below is a healthy reminder of the trials and tribulations ahead.

Meet Kristin, a three-year-old who really, really, REALLY doesn't want to bring her plate to the sink. Why? Well, it weighs 1000lbs, of course.


Kristin's oscar-worthy display got me thinking about totally unnecessary tantrums. Like Mazzy has developed this new thing where her milk must be at an exact preferred temperature every time.

The temperature is called "Nice & Warmy" and just a few degrees more or less than "Nice & Warmy" results in a gutteral scream heard throughout all of Manhattan ("MAKE IT NICE & WARMY!!!!") followed by a sippy cup hurled across the room and sobs so exaggerated, they should be coming from James Van Der Beek.

Another source of great distress in our home is Mazzy's miniature Sesame Street and Disney figurines. Mazzy is VERY particular about how she arranges her "guys" and becomes visibly upset if they are not all in an upright position at all times. 


For most of the figurines, standing is not an issue regardless of how often Mazzy rearranges them (roughly 30-50 times a day), but Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck pose a problem.

Not only are they both wearing HEELS, but they are standing in such a way that it is almost impossible for either of them to attain balance.

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Minnie has only one foot planted on the ground and her huge out-stretched hand throws her whole center of gravity out of whack.

Daisy is bending dangerously to one side so that she can stick her tailfeathers out, cock her head, and suggestively put one finger in her mouth. (It's pretty clear Daisy is not using her head to rise up the food chain in the pond, if you know what I'm saying.)

Several times a day, Mazzy is brought to tears by her inability to get Minnie or Daisy to stand. And then she is brought to further hysterics when I try to stand them up and can't do it either. 

To make matters even more frustrating, we are both painfully aware that they CAN stand if you put the proper amount of time and patience into it (see photo that took me a half hour to set-up above).

But patience is hard to come by when your two-year-old is sobbing louder than Christina Yang in last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy.

If you don't watch Grey's Anatomy, Christina's hysterics were brought upon by the discovery that her husband had a one-night stand.

Adultery warrants less tears than the inability to balance a Daisy Duck figurine.

My daughter sounds totally reasonable, right?


What's the most ridiculous thing your child has thrown a tantrum over?