As I thought about what to dress Mazzy in for Halloween this year (up top is last year's sushi), I realized that when it comes to costume creation, there are four distinct kinds of MOM. Do all these moms love their kids equally? Probably. Will all the kids love their costumes equally? Probably not.
The 4 Kinds of MOM on Halloween
1) THE CRAFTY MOM
Motto: "Love is Measured Through the Number of Sewing Needles that Snapped In Half During the Creation of My Child's Costume."
You started thinking of ideas for Halloween costumes on November 1st of 2010. You own a sewing machine, fabric scissors and sheets of felt in at least 50 different colors. In fact, you have an entire room dedicated to your craft projects. A room that has been photographed and featured on Design Sponge. And you're hoping that this year's costume makes the pages of Martha Stewart Living. You'll submit it as soon as the tips of your fingers stop bleeding.
2) THE CLEVER MOM
Motto: "My Baby is Nothing if Not A Canvas for Comedic Fodder."
Your costume doesn't have to make your kid look cute or be particularly well-made. The main objective is to make people laugh. You may have even given birth to a baby for the sole purpose of using him/her to express your ironic sense of humor. While other mothers curate keepsake boxes full of heirlooms and hair clippings, you have a box full of photos with which to use to embarrass your child on their wedding day.
Clockwise from left: Nacho Libre, a Biggest Loser contestant, Tom Cruise in Risky Business, Donald Trump.
Clockwise from left: Sarah Palin, Alien baby, Colonel Sanders, Borat
3) THE STORE BOUGHT MOM
Motto: "Why Would I Make a Costume When Someone Has Already Made One For Me?"
You do not think that Halloween is a make it or break it parenting moment. And originality is not a coveted concept. You don't care if your lobster baby gets lost in a sea of lobster babies in the local Halloween parade. As long as none of the lobster babies get cooked and eaten for dinner, you will consider your costume efforts successful.
4) THE HALF-ASSED MOM
Motto: "You Say Half-Assed, I Say Ingeniously Efficient Use of Money and Time."
You forgot Halloween was a few days away until you saw this post. Or maybe you are a procrastinator in general. Or you have a very exciting life full of non-Halloween-related activities and you can't imagine dedicating more time to Halloween than the morning before the festivites. Whatever the reason, you have neither the time or inclination to make or buy a costume. You must make due with the things you find in your house.
Clockwise from left: Pizza deliver guy, bag of jelly beans, laundry, present.
Clockwise from left: UPS man, static cling, farmer, toilet paper mummies, spa goer.
Just so we all know, I am not judging the half-assed moms. I come from a long line of half-assed moms.
One of my mother's favorite childhood stories is about my grandmother who (newly arrived in the US and unaware of Halloween traditions till the day of) stuck a large carboard box over my mom's head and sent her out the door as a refridgerator.
As for me, I distinctly remember going as a "hobo" one year (large tie, bowler hat and blazer all from my dad's closet) and another year as a "mime" (all black with white pancake make-up). Not much forethought in either.
My sister, however, fared even worse. Here she is in the late '80s dressed as a California Raisin.
Essentially, my mother sent her youngest daughter into the streets wearing a garbage bag.
I bet she cleaned up with the candy though.
The sympathy card is good for at least 10 mini Kit-Kats.
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What kind of Halloween mom are YOU?
Pictures taken from Martha Stewart, The Huffington Post, Target, Parents Connect, WTF costume, LMAO.com, and more.
I’m a store bought one right now, until my kid gets old enough to realize how lazy I am and demands I chain myself to a sewing machine.
Hahahaha!!! I love laundry – how ingenious and half-assed is that??? Awesomesauce.
We don’t do Halloween, but if we did, I’d probably stick 2 large sheets of paper on the toddler and call him a post-it note pad.
Porter’s “costume” was purchased at Gap and to the less imaginative may be considered to be merely a Superman t-shirt. What? He’s 14 months. Like he cares.
Until I figured out how to sew better, costumes consisted of the salvation army, grandma’s old dresses, mom’s old cheerleading uniform or dad’s hunting clothes. I sent my 5 year old son out trick or treating that year as a baby. He had on footie pajamas, sucking a binkie and carrying a rattle. Clever eh? Hahaha poor kid, I look at pictures of that now and cringe.
These days I have that craft room with a nice machine and other goodies to make cool stuff, appropriately and affectionately named, “My Crap Room”. 😀
I think I’m store bought meets homemade meets occasionally half assed lol – it totally depends on the year.
What about the hand-me-down mom? We have a HMD Buzz outfit, but I promised I’d make wings for it (since the wings were destroyed prior to said hand-me-down.) Now it’s one week away and I’m scrambling. I’m afraid he’s going to look like a Buzz Praying Mantis (a la the excellent photo from above), and I’ll get one of those glares again. Eeek! Hallowe’en truly is scary.
I prefer to capitalize on the crafty skills of friends. That way I appear to be the super crafter/over the top mom, but in essence I’m just overwhelmed and throwing something together. Hence the boys are Elmo (given by a friend) and the twins are Bert & Ernie (hats made by a friend with mad skills).
-fwiw I am being totally sarcastic as the last thing I am concerned with are appearances!!
I am totally a half-assed mom. But I think those costumes above are pretty brilliant. I really don’t care much–long as the Kiddo is happy, Mama’s happy.
Cheers.
I’m totally the half-assed Mom. My 4 yr old’s “costume” this year is his camo pants and shirt (we already own), some halloween make-up for face paint(purchased years ago), and his toy rifle (also already own). Guess what he’s going as? Oooooh yeah…he’s my lil “army guy”! =D
I found an adorable bumble-bee costume at TJ Maxx for under $15. It’s really cute, and my daughter is obsessed with the Buzz Buzz song by Laurie Berkner, so it seemed fitting. Also, practical because I can throw black leggings and a black sweater on underneath. I think it’s made of WIN for me.
I think the Biggest Loser contestant is my personal favorite from the “clever” category.
As a kid, I was almost always a black cat (black outfit with tail pinned on, and ear-headband, with drawn-on-whiskers). Then when I was old enough, I wore my dad’s army jacket & hat from the 60’s. Everyone always though that was really clever..
I’m definitely a store-bought mom, though my oldest went as a zombie last year, which was pretty cool. My mother growing up was a mix of store-bought and half-assed. Still to this day my almost 40 year old brother gives my mom a hard time about how she sent him off as a mummy wrapped in toilet paper. He was completely unraveled by the time he got home. In my opinion, I think it’s his fault for letting her do that to him. He should have known better.
I made a costume for my daughter. Tried to be crafty. I showed it to her yesterday and she threw it on the ground and hasn’t looked at it since. I am going to be a half-assed mom until further notice… 🙂
I really WISH I was a craft mom.
But let’s be honest…I’m a store bought mom, all the way.
Okay, I TOTALLY disagree with you on this. The half-ass category has a bunch of creative people who actually used some ingenuity and interesting materials. Those are people like my mom who, back in the day, actually went to the trouble of thinking up unique ideas and helping us put together costumes. The half-ass moms are people like me who sit down with their kids at the computer, get on one of those costume sites, and hit “order.” We’re the pathetic, thoughtless masses.
You raise an excellent point. It’s a lot more effort to glue some dirty socks on your kid’s shirt than order an Elmo costume online. And who knows how long that mom saved that old pizza box for the occasion. To be fair, I did give the half-ass moms a call-out as “ingenious”.
The toilet paper mummy costumes though, while awesome, probably lasted about five minutes after they left the house.
Like a dagger to the heart. Tell her she can go as an “ungrateful child” this year.
I added to toilet paper mummies to the half-assed photos just for you.
There has got to be some sad tin foil hershey kisses and tin men out there too.
My friend and I went as burglars one year. All black with black knit caps and black make-up. Easiest costume ever. Except for the mime. They are about the same.
Agreed. The half-assed moms are a brilliant creative cost-efficient time-savvy bunch.
At the risk of divulging too much about Mazzy’s costume, I have decided to capitalize on the craftiness of ETSY. Not quite store bought and not quite handmade— which makes me half-assed I think?
If your kid looks anything like the praying mantis above than I think he should CLEAN UP with the candy.
When you hand-me-down, do you mean within your own kids or from outside the family?
Sushi was a combo of crafty, half-assed and clever I think. And also store-bought because I definitely didn’t sew that hat and onesie!
What about a baby going as a baby? GENIUS! It reminds me of the trick or treaters in their pajamas. Somehow they were always the cool kids, weren’t they?
Just write “Remember to pick up milk” on one of the pieces of paper and you’re golden!
There is just nothing better than baby Trump. Nothing.
I come from a long line of store bought moms. Thank god.
Oh, that is reason right there to have children:
dressing up like this.
How do you find these??
WoNDERFUL and thank you for the laughs. So much.
xo
I keep waiting for a Suri costume to come out..can’t believe there isn’t one yet.
Definitely half-assed. Last year my almost one year old was a ladybug. This consisted of a black sweatshirt that I saftey pinned red circles (cut from an old pair of sweatpants) and antennae onto in the car on the way to where we were going. This year we got a hand-me-down costume (surprisingly from someone who didn’t see last year’s costume). Unfortunately, it is an adorable ladybug outfit. She’s totally going to wear it, though, because there it is. No work for me. I’ll have to take pictures and put them next to each other in her scrapbook for the irony.
I try to be a store bought mom, but my annoyingly creative eldest daughter keeps coming up with ideas for costumes that just can’t be found (even after a 2 hour search of the internet). So I’m fast becoming a half-arsed craft mom!
Those clever ones are genius!
I’m in between all three. I can’t stand to buy a complete store bought costume, so I prefer to put together what I can — but I prefer not to get my sewing machine out and it had better be something I can put together for less than I can buy it. This year’s butterflies are store bought wings & tutus, with last year’s kitty cat leotards. That’s the half assed mom in me.
Both. We’ve gotten three years of a teddy bear costume that I bought from another mom for 15 dollars (Any one want it? Just $10!). My son wore if for two years; my daughter wore it once. Now it needs a new home (and it’s in great condition!).
This year it’s a HMD Buzz from a friend who also got it as a hand-me-down – plus (yet to be made) home-made wings. My daughter is wearing a $1 ladybug plus a crown we got as a favor at a party. Oh yeah – recession costumes!
I’m totally a store-bought mom. My 3 1/2 year old is going as the red power ranger, my daughter’s going as a pirate queen, and the baby is going as a monkey. Although after seeing the baby lobster in a pot costume, I’m second-guessing myself. It made me laugh so hard I woke the baby up from his nap.
Sadly, even if I tried to be Mom 1 or 2, my child would end up looking like a Mom 4 project. My sewing skills are legendary in their “completely nonexistent” glory.
So I am Mom 3, and all about the pre-made.
I grew up a product of Mom 3 and Mom 4… I was a bandit, a hobo, a punk rocker… In fact, until this year, I had not had a store bought costume since I was 7 and Darth Vader.
Yes, that’s right. Darth Vader. Why be a wussy princess when you can crush windpipes with The Force?
i had high ambitions of being a crafty mom and making my son’s spider costume (he wanted to be a spider), but then a great spider costume was on sale on pottery barn, with free shipping! so much easier than me trying to find the time to sew something together, and i concluded that it would actually cost me MORE to sew it in time and material than actually buying it, so i became the sell out. although i think my matching costume idea is great, as little miss muffet. don’t judge me, i am dressing up.
I guess I’m the store-bought Mom. “Honey, you can be anything you want. Unless they don’t have it at Target. And not that one, it’s $30. Choose from the $14.99 rack. Go ahead. ANYTHING YOU WANT.”
So yeah. Store-bought. Unless gluing a felt mustache to a pacifier for my 6-week-old counts, in which case I’m both crafty AND clever. (He was Wyatt Earp. Obviously.)
I was so excited to be “crafty mom” this year and made an awesome Spongebob costume from felt with no pattern. Only broke 1 needle! It’s pretty great, if you ask me. If you ask Maysen, though, she screams and runs away from it yelling “Buncha Pop!” (Spongebob), as if it’s going to eat her alive. Looks like she’ll be going as herself for Halloween.
I’m totally a store-bought mom. I am the least creative person ever and it’s just so EASY to go out and buy a costume. My 17 month old daughter is going to be a dog this year, she picked out the costume and has made me put it on her daily – it’s hilarious when she goes to the mirror and barks at herself! I think Mazzy looks adorable dressed up as sushi!
Totally, completely, and unapologetically a store-buying costume mom! My own childhood was a mixture of Martha Stewart variety (the best being the very realistic paper mache peanuts charlie brown and lucy masks), others the sloppier variety. I am just too busy … which is a lie, I lack imagination and motivation! Store variety cute enough, especially for my stubborn toddler who was about to go as a Harold and Kumar character after refusing to put hers on for a recent party! . I would rather waste money than time. But here is a thought for the homemade extravaganzas … perhaps were done by patient moms who let their kids take control? As I remember my eldest one year working very diligently on turning a box into a robot .. it looked simiar in style to the “half assed” attempts above but was actually a very impressive effort for the child, and I could not have been more proud! I mean hey, it saved me a trip to the store right? 😉 lol!
I can’t believe I’m taking a break from sewing. Every friggin’ year I say, I’m buying but then August rolls around I think I have enough time to sew an outfit. It is one week away and I’ve only managed to do half an outfit. Aaaah, back to sewing!
And to think i was going to dress her up in a bee costume this year. So unoriginal. I want to dress my kid up in a crazy outfit just to get the pictures like these in your post. seriously, they’re like professional shots, those can’t be real kids.
i’d like the clever mom, the costumes are very nice, seemed like an adult and cute. great mom
hahaha last year I procrastinated until the DAY OF. I was left with the odds and ends type of costume. I used my son’s tool belt and worker hat paired with a bulldozer shirt and jeans. Made a cute little handy helper 🙂
My mom helped me be “crafty mom” this year. We stayed up until midnight (late with an 8 month old!) sewing my baby a Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz dress. My son, however, is three and until about a week ago was going to be a blue cat (thankfully I hadn’t started sewing it yet!!) but then we flew to Gramma’s house and now he wants to be an airline pilot. This means I get to purchase dress pants, a dress shirt and dress shoes that he probably should have owned already anyway. 🙂 so half and half. Dorothy took a long time and cost $7. The pilot I ordered from GAP and costs about $50. See why I craft??!
Bag of jelly beans? That was MY costume idea back in 1990. Except we couldn’t find the little balloons, just long ones. So I went as a bag of rainbow licorice. I popped all over the neighborhood
I am only a beginning to moderate sewer. My Mom how ever is an amazing seamstress. Every year, while I can, my mom makes my children’s costumes. My son, who is four, loves that Granny (who lives 3000+ miles away) makes his costumes and always brags about it to everyone he can. My daughter is 19 months, but I am sure that one day she will be proud to have all these ‘dress up’ costumes that her Granny made her. They are all every special to us, and I can’t bring myself to get rid of any of them.
Hehehehe I love it, I’m a half-assed/crafty mom… and I won’t apologize for it… My eldest (10 years) wants to be a “necromancer” from his video game and I’ve had to make his wizards robe and staff, my middle child (4 years) wants to be a Skelly princess and my youngest (2 years) I’m not sure what I’m going to do for him yet….
My mom once made a watermelon slice costume for my sister… since we are short in our family she was able to wear it for 3 or 4 years before I got to wear it for 3 or 4 years. You should have seen the look of disappointment on our neighbor’s faces when I finally outgrew it and dressed as something else
Hilarious! I’m usually half-assed but Halloween is a week away and I still have no idea what to dress my 1 year old, so I’ll probably upgrade to ‘Store Bought’ this year.
My son always wants to be something weird, so the past few years I’ve had to make his costumes. Last year he was a pancake, complete with maple syrup hat. This year he’s going to be a hot air balloon.
Yes a hot air balloon.
The more I tell him no, its impossible, the more determined he is to be it. Next year its gonna be store bought because this year was a bee-otch.
I love the ideas everyone is posting! I am totally wanna-be crafty Mom…my motto is: It isn’t Halloween until I have burned my self with the hot glue gun! My 3YO son is a lady bug this year and since I didn’t really want to dress him in a tu-tu and fairy wings (Ladybugs are not fairies!) I had to make his. It actually came out suer cute! My 5YO son wants to be a solar panel. Working on that one this afternoon. The hardest part? Finding a yellow ski cap that I can turn into a sun. Nope. Couldn’t find one. Going to have to make it out of-you guessed it-felt. I just know this one is going to be half assed Mom worthy.
I am a total combination! The last 2 years were handmade affairs that I spent a week on. One year the whole family went as Star Trek officers (they are totally going to hate us someday) and last year the kids went as batman and batman (with a super fancy tutu for my daughter).
My daughter has also been a bumblebee (hand me down costume) and a hula girl (using a coconut bra and grass skirt set my in-laws brought us from Hawaii- half-assed and completely adorable!)
And this year, my son is going to be a dinosaur (with me just sewing felt triangles to a sweatshirt and a velcro tail that’s been in their dress up bin for awhile) And I caved and let my daughter pick out an awesome princess dress online. I knew nothing I made would live up to her fancy little dreams.
I am a store bought Mom. And just to let you know the UPS guy is a store bought costume. My son picked it out at Party City when he was about 3. I ended up carrying the box all night so if your kid wants that costume, pick a light box.
Your sister fared better than I did. My mom actually dressed me as a garbage bag one year. I wore a black leotard & black tights. She then cut arm & leg holes in a large black trash bag & put it on me. She stuffed it with newspaper so it would look full. We went trick or treating with friends in a ritzy neighborhood & at every door it was “oh a princess & a gypsy &… what are you?” Each time my friend would say “her mom made her be a trash bag”. Talk about a Halloween I will never forget though.
Last year I made my kids awesome costumes (a candy corn from felt, no pattern…but then again, it’s just a giant triangle) and an oompa loompa (bought various pieces like the shirt, ribbon suspenders, etc and then assembled w things we had already). This year I’m going lazy (doesn’t even count as half-assed) and told them to dig through our MASSIVE amount of dress up clothes and surprise me. lol.
Im a mixture of a few of them. I found a very cute red dragon for a few dollars after Halloween one year and hes been that for the past 3 years because he loves it that much. But also spent hours making him a garden gnome. And another year he was the ironic “red shirt” from star trek.
Also there needs to be a 5th catagory The Hand Me down Costume Mom. My mother was a pro at finding hand me down costumes. I dont think she ever paid for a costume.
Can I propose another category–budget mom?? Each year has depended on what would fit, time and money. For my daughter’s first Halloween, I wanted so badly to pick something adorable out, but I had been a SAHM and money was tight. In the fabric section I found some clearance scraps and trims and combined them with white tights, onesie and bam–pink and white bunny! And everyone LOVED it. I made costumes for several years (until I too, met “ungrateful child”) and since have bought–some have been more work to track down this way! My son has had store bought so far since I was strapped for time mostly, but this year we weren’t able to find what he wanted, so I am piecing it together bit by bit–don’t know if it will be considered crafty or half-assed, but it is all on the cheap as I am once again a SAHM!
I’m clever mom with a little crafty mixed in. I miss the days where I spent my evenings watching the baseball postseason while cutting felt and stitching it into some fun costume. My son has been a woolly mammoth, an octopus, a hot dog, Albert Einstein, and fat Elvis. He is 18 now and I still send him screenshots of ideas I find for his costumes.
Two kids, crafty momma= Adorable
Joseph, will be Toopy from Toopy and Bino. He watches that show like crazy.
My baby sushi is Allie, who is almost a year old. Her first halloween.
I don’t understand why the crafty moms always get such a bad rep…”Over the top?” C’mon…it took me less than two days to completely hand sew my kids costume three years in a row. It cost less than a store bought costume and he has won the town contest two years in a row and I suspect he will win again this year based on how cute its coming out. Maybe stop shaming those of us who actually put THOUGHT into our child’s costume just because you are not crafty or don’t care or don’t have the time. I have never shamed anyone for buying a costume or whatever…so don’t shame me either. To each his own. But I thoroughly enjoy sewing and I feel like I put a piece of my heart and love into every piece I make. Not to mention I was given my late Grandmother’s sewing machine and it makes me feel as is I’m carrying on a tradition. If that makes me “over the top” than oh well! Happy Halloween!
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