Do you remember "The Simple Life"? That craptastic plate of awful that brought America closer to the likes of Paris Hilton and her chubby(!!) sidekick, Nicole Richie?
There was one thing about that show I found utterly fascinating (besides how easily Nicole could burp on cue)— Paris dedicated an INSANE amount of time to looking at herself in the mirror.
Not to put on make-up or check out her outfit. Because those would've both been acceptable forms of mirror-use. NO. This was something else. This was posing, worshipping, and displaying a level of vanity unmatched by anyone I had ever seen (except maybe the little guy pictured left).
Of course, this was before I had a one-and-a-half-year-old daughter…
Mazzy is OBSESSED with herself.
It's an obsession that started at around 3 months and only seems to get worse.
I know all babies like to look in the mirror. But Mazzy's infatuation for her own reflection seems to have crossed the line from normal baby behavior. She may have even surpassed Paris. We're talking Melissa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey territory.
"MAZZY!!!" She screams and then runs towards herself, practically licking the glass.
"Hi, Mazzy," she continues coyly doing a little spin. "Mwah!"
It's enough to make a person lose their appetite. (That's what happened to Nicole, right?)
Check out this video of my very own Vanity Smurf:
Now please— I beg of you. DO NOT SHOW THIS TO MY DAUGHTER.
Because the only thing she would like more than looking at herself in the mirror is looking at a video of herself looking at herself in the mirror.
Can anybody identify with this? Or do I have to find Nicole to commiserate?