Remember my "Draperize Your Husband" giveaway? Well, the contest continues. I had asked everyone to describe the least sexy piece of clothing in your husband's closet and you all delivered with some truly horrendous attire.

So I have two things for you today. The first is an illustration based on your comments. The men don't look nearly as offensive as I had imagined in my head, but here it is regardless.


I also took the liberty of contacting a few people with especially egregious clothing descriptions and asked them to submit pictures. And now we're going to put them to a vote just like last time. (YAY!)

Here are your finalists for "Least Sexy Piece of Clothing Found in Your Husband's Closet"…

Natasha said:

"My husband has a pair of pants I call his "Hulk pants", because they appear like Dr. Bruce Banner's after he's turned into the Hulk. They're torn off at the bottoms, and are approximately manpri length."

Ringed Dragon said:

"An extra large t-shirt from Sea World purchased in 1996. It has been through several moves, over a decade of lawn care, room painting, baby food, poo splatters, and an unfortunate run in with a hatchback. I've put it into the trash, only to have it rescued and put into the wash. He claims— It's just getting good!!"

(Note: Shirt was taped to window to illustrate thinness of material.)

Kim said:

"My husband joined the gym for the pool. Doing laundry after first visit produced what appeared to be doll size underwear- a Speedo!"


(Note: This is not Kim's husband.)

Tracey said:

"My husband's least sexy article of clothing has got to be his new (self-titled) "fat pants." He's apparently put on some poundage, and found these khaki pants that have an elastic flap on the side to release tension from his belly fat. Believe me, nothing says H-O-T like knowing your hubby is wearing pants with an elastic waist."

Fritter said:

"My husband has a hedious college cardigan sweater straight out of Happy Days. It is cream colored with a big Varisty 'M' for the University of Michigan on the lower pocket. The worst part? It was given to him by his mother."

Varda said:

"I accidentally bought my husband a pair of lime green boxers that say "Stocking Stuffer" across the ass. (They were sold folded up, I had thought they were solid, didn't see the "message" til he put them on the first time!) They are now ten years old, stretched out and NEED to be retired. Not to mention my own damn fault."

Stocking Stuffer Boxers(2)
Frazzled Mommy said:

"Ahem… His wedding suit from his first marriage. Definitely the absolute LEAST sexy thing in any man's closet."

(No picture necessary.)

Joann said:

"My husband LITERALLY has a pair of jean overalls in his closet. 
He bought them for halloween one year, and he refuses to part with them."

(Note: Sadly, this is not Joann's husband but what better way to illustrate the unsexiness of a pair of overalls then to show how they transform a beautiful man into someone totally unfuckable?)

Kerri said:

"The item would have to be his "I'm Grumpy because your Dopey" T-shirt which pays homage to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

Dusty earth mother said:

"A bright red reindeer Christmas sweater from 1986. I'm not kidding."

Picture 100
Those are your top ten. And now I feel like Cat Deeley. Except the winner doesn't get screamed at by Mary Murphy, she gets a $25 gift certificate from Metal Pressions. Yes, that's right— there's a prize. That's how we do things here!

Metalpressions Metal Pressions makes personalized high-end jewelry including the fancy schmancy monogrammed cufflinks  pictured left. Since there is no where to put cufflinks on a reindeer sweater, I also included a picture of a 14k Gold Love Charm Necklace, in case you'd prefer to get something for yourself. I should mention that $25 does not cover either one of these, but if you look around their site you'll find great pieces in a variety of price ranges.

Alright, ladies— start campaigning. Winner is announced next Friday. Make sure to vote below!