Fashion Police Caption Contest: $1 will be donated to the American Heart Association for every caption as part of Project: Purse & Boots.

Update: Sara (our current contest judge from Periwinkle Papillon) has volunteered to match my donation! That's $2 per caption!


Here's the story behind the picture above. Lori, the hilarious blogger over at In Pursuit of Martha Points, started a project called "Purse and Boots" to raise money for the American Heart Association. Did I mention that in addition to being hilarious, Lori is also a better person than I am?

The "purse" (see devastatingly handsome sequined zebra over-the-shoulder bag up top) travels across the country, from blogger to blogger, to inspire a women's night out of fun, frivolity and trashy dressing. Pictures are posted and sponsors pledge money for each stop the purse makes.

You would think that the purse's stop in NYC would be the stuff of which legends are made— making the VIP list at Provocateur, dancing braless on the bar at Hogs & Heifers, getting violated by the drag queens at Lucky Cheng's… but alas, the purse was sent to me due to a sudden cancellation with little lead time.

Thus, I found myself without a sitter and my only "fun night out" option being an 11am brunch with another couple, kids included.

My friend and I made an attempt to take a picture of ourselves at the bar of the restaurant. But it looked exactly like what it was— two moms at an empty bar in mid morning. You could even see us willing our off-camera kids to be still with our eyes.

But when we exited the restaurant, something magical happened. My friend's two year-old, Ella, put on her jacket and it was *GASP*— a matching zebra monstrosity! I mean— an adorably fashionable garment!!

And thus, a CAPTION CONTEST was born. And not only that— a CAPTION CONTEST FOR CHARITY! I want to say that I'll pledge a dollar for every caption entered but then I imagine this going viral resulting in my eventual life on the streets. So I'm gonna cap it at $100. Just to make sure my daughter can still go to college.

Let's do a FASHION POLICE spin. You know— like the ones they do in US Weekly where they have the panel of comedians/fashion experts making pithy remarks about Patricia Arquette's shower curtain sheath or Steven Segal's borrowed mumu from Mrs. Roper?

Captions will be judged by the last caption contest winner— Sara from Periwinkle Pappillon. Winner will be crowned on Friday and will win the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest. Which will help absolutely no one.

Good luck!

Donations to Project: Purse & Boots can be made here. And if you'd like to get more involved, you can contact Lori at