Top-ten-blue 1. The entirety of your baby's nursery does not fit in the trunk of your car. But it will not stop you from trying.

2. Put pre-prepped food and milk in an easy access place that the baby CANNOT see.

3. Sitting in the backseat of the car will make you feel like a more attentive parent but it will also reinforce just how much you are torturing your baby with the trip.

4. Constant singing and talking may keep your baby from crying. It will also make you lose your voice, get carsick and drive you slowly insane.

5. It is much easier to be the driver than the passenger.

6. Pulling over to change a diaper in the backseat of the car is fine. Traveling the rest of the way with the dirty diaper sitting next to you is not.

7. Do not ask how long the baby has been sleeping. This question, no matter how quietly whispered, is the equivalent of blowing a foghorn into your baby's ear.

8. After naptime crankiness magnifies by ten with every passing mile.

9. Only a crazy person would take a baby on a road trip without a TV/DVD set-up in the car. Editor's Note: Must remedy this situation.

10. When you arrive at your destination, it will feel like you have just spent the last few hours auditioning for the role of head clown at the Hard To Please Baby Circus. You will want nothing more than to PASS OUT 'TIL MORNING. But the baby, who has just been cooped up in a carseat for five hours, has tons of other more active ideas and YOU BEST BE READY TO PLAY.