Alternate title: KEEP THE BABY ALIVE. What is it that is so fascinating about sockets? The second Mazzy started crawling, she made a beeline for one as if she had been staring at it and waiting for this moment from the day we brought her home. She got there so fast and with such intensity, it was like watching a 12 year-old girl spot Justin Beiber at the mall. Or like she was 21 and that socket was alcohol. So we did what any responsible parents would do in the face of danger, we bought a couple socket covers and patted ourselves on the back for taking the necessary precautions for keeping our child electric shock free. But do you know what happened when we placed that socket cover on? Mazzy crawled right up to it and TORE THAT SHIT OUT. I mean it doesn't have Krazy glue on the back or come with a screw of some sort- why would we think that this flimsy little plastic $2 device would protect our child from the one thing that can potentially cause her the most harm- HERSELF?
Maybe this is the case with all babies but Mazzy seems especially enamored with anything that has the potential to destroy her. Plastic bags? Check. Hair dryer cords? Loves 'em. Door hinges? Can't get enough. Precariously placed glass items? Well, I should probably move those. Childproofing is apparently a tricky business of which my husband and I still have to dedicate some serious thought. Sigh. I guess it's time to remove the pointy antler from the coffee table. Once Mazzy notices it, it's going to be like dangling a C- movie script in front of Matthew McConaughey.