Many of you ended your Winter Break on January 2nd, but my kids were still on vacation all last week. For some reason, we thought it would be a good idea to take the kids on two separate trips over vacation, coming back to the city for New Year’s Eve in between, because I have a tradition of spending it with my friend Emily and this year was particularly important.
We spent the first week in LA (blog post coming soon) and one week in Park City (did you see Harlow ski like a professional on Instagram???) and finally got home at 6am this past Saturday.
Just to be clear and so you can see the full extent of the torture we put our kids through— we made the kids leave on Christmas morning for LA, stayed from Monday through Friday, coming home just as they were getting used to the time change. Then we let them stay up until after midnight on New Year’s Eve, made them leave for a flight at 7am the next morning to Park City, woke them up at 7:30am the following morning to get to ski school by 9am, repeated this for four days straight, and then took them home on a Red Eye this past Saturday.
This is like “How Not to Parent 101.”
For any of you Bedtime and Napping Nazis out there, I can see you guys shaking your heads at me. I DESERVE IT.
Harlow fell asleep on the Red Eye home but Mazzy stayed up the ENTIRE TIME. The draw of unlimited access to the airplane entertainment way too great to pass up.
I get it, Mazzy— I stayed up to watch the entirety of The Sinner. A show, I might add, that is very questionable to have playing while your kids are sitting next to you. But, I kept checking and they seemed totally absorbed in their own shows and weren’t even glancing in my direction. Still, it felt WRONG. I mean, not wrong enough to stop watching, but you get what I mean. As a side note, even when the kids are not there, it feels really weird to be watching certain things when you are sitting on a plane and everyone can see your monitor. At one point I turned on an Andy Samberg HBO comedy about the Tour de France and there was full frontal nudity! Even Mike was like, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING???” I was like— “It’s a mockumentary about bicycling! It seemed so innocent!”
But I digress.
Mazzy finally fell asleep at 6am as we taxied to our gate in New York. Good times.
“Mazzy, wake up, we’re home! I mean, not really home. We’re in a plane and still have to wait for our stuff at baggage claim. Cool? Now put on this heavy backpack and carry it out into the freezing cold!”
Seriously, we arrived in New York to 3 degree temperatures. We nearly froze to death waiting for our car and my kids deserved every tear of their very predictable meltdowns.
As a reward, when it was all over, we let the girls watch television for two solid days.
FYI, I have now decided that family TV viewing is way preferable to my kids watching their own iPads. During our vacation, Mazzy and Harlow developed a love of Shark Tank (which is always on for some reason!) and it has been one of the happiest things that has ever happened to our family. It’s teaching an entrepreneurial spirit, no??? And good business sense! I am on board.
Today is their first day back in school. I love them both to death, but I am REALLY happy to be back at work. I wish I could roll into 2018 and start anew, but as you know, the end of the year isn’t just holiday season in the Wiles household, it is also “Birthday Season,” so I’ve been very busy and have to play a bit of catch-up.
Do you mind if I share a thing or two about our holidays? I believe we covered Hanukah but I still want to talk Christmas and New Year’s.
Okay? Okay.
First of all, I want to address some questions on Instagram about why we celebrate Christmas even though both Mike and I are Jewish.
I get it. I grew up without a Christmas tree and never imagined I would have one, but it seems, in my circle of Jewish friends in New York City, we have all softened on this issue. It was a slippery slope that has everything to do with our children. I think it’s a combination of social media (I knew I was missing out on Christmas when I was growing up, but I didn’t realize just HOW MUCH until I was following everyone on Instagram) and also something about today’s parents wanting to give their kids every opportunity for magic. How can I pass that up???
Also, if you want to get technical, I celebrated Christmas at my Aunt and Uncle’s house (my Aunt is Christian) when I was little. We had stockings and presents under the tree. Then, for years, I celebrated Christmas with my father after he married my stepmother who is Roman Catholic. A few years ago, the first year Mazzy was old enough to understand the holidays, we took the kids to my dad and stepmom’s house in Rhode Island to celebrate Christmas. My stepmother had the whole house decorated, a huge tree in the living room, stockings and a big meal planned for the night before. We did the whole thing. Decorating a separate children’s tree she had put in the den, leaving out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve, and tons of presents to unwrap in the morning. It was awesome. I really thought Christmas in Rhode Island was going to be our family tradition going forward.
Then, for reasons I am not going to get into, my dream of a Rhode Island Christmas tradition didn’t materialize. The next year, we ended up going to Jamaica with Little Miss Party and crew, where the hotel threw a big Christmas party. Santa came in by boat, he gave gifts and the kids were totally enamored with it all.
Cut to the following year and for the first time, we were spending Christmas at home. We went to our house with my sister’s family (also all Jewish) and had to make a decision. Were we doing Christmas? That year, Christmas and Hanukah overlapped, so we had all the presents. It was just a matter of whether or not we were buying a tree.
On the day before Christmas, my sister and I decided to surprise everyone. We went to the local nursery and bought the smallest tree in the lot, which was potted and could be replanted in the yard. Planting a tree seemed like a very Jewish thing to do. I bought a strand of colored lights and a box of mini ornaments too. The kids were so excited. Mazzy fashioned a Jewish star out of pipe cleaners to put on the top. I also happened to have some fancy stockings from a sponsored post I had done and put those out as well.
And so, our Chrismukkah tradition was born. The kids put out cookies for Santa, carrots for the reindeer and a glass of milk. Then we lit the Hanukah candles before going to bed.
“Do you think Santa will come to our house even though we’re Jewish,” the kids asked.
“I don’t know. We’ll see…”
He came. Santa brought one gift for each kid, plus the stuff in the stockings and then all the other presents were from us.
This year, even though Hanukah was over well before Christmas, we did the same. It’s kind of like, once you start, you can’t take it back. My sister and her family spent the weekend just like last year. Again, the day before Christmas, we bought the smallest tree in the lot, one that could be replanted.
Mazzy found the pipe cleaner Jewish Star she made last year.
I had made some new photo ornaments (thanks again to a sponsored post!) with pictures of the kids (Jack and Neve included) all celebrating Hanukah and Christmas in previous years.
Allie also contributed a Chrismukkah ornament that was much appreciated.
One new tradition we started was getting everyone matching footie hoodie pajamas to wear all weekend. The adults too! But somehow, I only got a picture of the kids.
Grammy, Sammy and Grandma Toby (also all Jewish) came over for Christmas Eve dinner.
Grammy brought a turkey and together with the husbands (Mike and Mikey) cooked a massive feast. It was way tastier than it looks in this picture.
After dinner, Harlow drew a picture for Santa and Mazzy put out the milk, carrots and cookies.
That day at the grocery store, I had picked up a copy of “The Night Before Christmas” on a whim. Grammy read it to the kids before bed, who had all never heard it before. Mazzy actually said, “I thought it was called ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas” and then I had to explain that the movie was a play on words of the book.
Then Harlow read again from memory because that’s what she does with EVERY book.
Everyone went to sleep pretty quickly except Mazzy. She was determined to wait up for Santa. She kept wanting to check the Google tracker and I had to tell her that if she was still up when he came to our neighborhood, he would have no choice but to skip our house. Which is pretty much true.
Christmas morning was a big success. Mazzy was up at 5am and we had to convince her to come into our bed instead of wake the whole house. We finally let her to go downstairs and wake everyone at 7am.
First thing Mazzy noticed was that Santa knew everyone’s name because they were written on the presents. It’s funny to see an 8yo fully processing this stuff.
Mazzy got the virtual reality glasses she asked for and became convinced that Santa knows her favorite color because the glasses are purple.
Harlow got her apartment-appropriate Barbie house (the one she showed Santa on my phone so he wouldn’t get anything I thought was too big for our space), which turned out to be way bigger than she expected.
Then at 10am, we packed up and took advantage of empty airports on Christmas Day. Just like a good Jew would.
I’ll write about our trip to LA in a future blog post, but the important thing to know is that we made sure to be home for New Year’s Eve, to continue our tradition of spending it with my friend Emily.
Emily and Matt almost always hosted a New Year’s Eve party in previous years. On the two years they did not, we had them out to our house to bring in the New Year. We even had them over our place the year that Mazzy and Charlie were newborns. We just sat on the couch and nursed our babies the whole time, who just happened to be wearing New Year’s hats. As you may remember, Matt passed away over the summer. Initially, Emily was not going to throw her annual New Year’s Eve party, but all the guests who have made it their tradition to be there, convinced her to do it. In fact, even more friends than normal showed up this year.
The games might not have been as organized (that was always Matt’s speciality) but fun was had by all. The kids arrived in pajamas, the adults ate and drank and we all watched the ball drop together, just like always.
It was a very Happy New Year.
Hi Ilana! It’s Ellyn. Lol. I am absolutely IN LOVE with this post and your Chrismukkah traditions! I think I posted on your Hanukkah post about how recently I’ve been feeling interested in learning more about Judaism. Well it turns out I am part Jewish! It’s a small percentage of my DNA ancestry (via 23andMe) (Ashkenazi Jewish) but it’s there and I have been so excited about learning more about Judaism and I plan on integrating Hanukkah traditions during our holidays next year! (This year I missed the boat, and also had some health issues over the holidays that kind of put a damper on doing very much at all.) So my family will be kind of doing what your family is doing but in reverse. I love the Jewish ornaments on the tree! Your family is beautiful and again this post is just amazing!
I hope you continue to do posts on all things Jewish! Hopefully I can learn enough by Passover to do something with the kids! (Honestly Easter has always been a little ho him for me, so it will be fun to have something else to add in to that time of year.)
Shalom! 😊
It sounds like a good time was had by everyone overall,despite a lack of rest. Hope you all fared well during the bomb cyclone. Looking forward to your next post.
Good on all Emily’s friends to encourage her to continue traditions even though her life has changed. Cheers and blessings to Emily and all who lost Matt!
One of my favorite posts. Thank you for sharing your wonderful traditions!
I love how you’ve incorporated the Christmas tree into your life. I’m agnostic but still enjoy a tree and the Santa traditions too! Sounds like a busy but fun vacation. Can’t wait to hear all about your visit to LA.
Clearly millionaires. You write about this like it’s normal to just take 2 cross country vacations on Christmas break. You’ve been posting a lot about trips, we get it. Most people don’t relate to this, but you throw in “normal” stuff because you know that you’re seeming a bit “richer” than most. You’re establishing a different presence than you had before and it’s getting to the point that you’re some sort of celebrity. I love your posts about the kids, they are adorable and funny. The problem is your extravagant posts about vacations instead of focusing on real life. If your goal is to become a travel blogger, you’ve nailed it. I understand maybe some are sponsored? I guess I’m saying just consider how you want people to perceive you and what your goal is for your blog.
Exactly! It’s just not as retalable anymore :/ also her favoritism for Harlow is just driving me crazy lately 😭
There is no favoritism for Harlow. She is younger and still likes to be by my side more. Mazzy is often on playdates, doing her own thing and not as fond of me sticking the camera in her face. I try to be respectful and ask her if she minds me taking videos or pictures first. There is also less things you can write about when your kids get older. Not because you don’t care but because their problems are their own and not for you to share. Right now, Harlow likes to perform for the camera. She asks me to film her. So I do.
I completely agree that when kids become older, one naturally becomes more cautious about what one posts. Also, the older kid, as you say, is less around than the younger one, so the dynamic is completely different.
Travel is something Mike and I always loved doing but stopped when we had kids. Now they are at the age when they are actually good little travelers and at the same time, the social media landscape has changed where destinations and tourism boards are realizing that bloggers and influencers do more for them than traditional advertising. Thanks to snapchat, instagram stories, etc. where everything is real time experiences. Yes, I am taking advantage. It’s the most exciting thing that has happened to me as both a blogger and a parent. I love having this quality time with my kids doing cool stuff we all enjoy. Most of our trips last year were sponsored but these two trips over break were not. We went to LA because we got cheap flights on Christmas Day and the hotel for free because we used Starwoods points. The ski trip is one we do every year.
I’m not going to lie, as the kids get older, I am struggling with what to write about. Not because what I’m experiencing is no longer relatable but because I feel like the normal things I would like to write about like fights over homework and attitude problems are more private. My kids names and photos are on here and lots of people are reading. It’s one thing to write about a two year-old having a tantrum. It’s another to write about issues an 8yo is having who can read. I’m sorry the blog is changing. I wish I was still a new mom with babies and everything laid out in front of me, but I’m not. Travel actually seems like one of the few things I can write about that involves the kids without feeling invasive.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what direction to take the blog in— one is to invite more writers to the platform. Some writers who still have babies and some writers with older kids who are anonymous so they can more freely write about the issues parents of school-age children face. But it’s a big undertaking and I need to figure out the best way to do it. I’m also not sure if it will be worth the time and money investment since everyone says blogs are dying.
This is a very long winded way of saying— I know the blog is changing. I’m trying to figure it out. I wish I could talk more openly about real life. This is an issue that I hear most bloggers face when their kids reach the age of mine.
Please don’t avoid sharing something on the blog or tone down your success and ability to travel for fear of seeming unrelatable. Crabby people can go elsewhere for blogs that relate better to their own lives. Your authentic family experiences are what they are, and I learn and laugh from them. I would like to have a family soon and I hope to instill a love of travel. Last year I loved the stories about Mazzy surfing in CA and you and Mazzy experiencing Paris. It gives me a vision for what is possible!
Ilana, I love your blog and where it is going. Even though we are not able to travel much right now (our reasons are more because of work and our elderly parents than our children), being able to read about your adventures I get to live vicariously through you. Plus it gives me ideas for trips that we do eventually want to take.
Please continue being you and sharing what you feel is important and appropriate. There are a lot of us who truly enjoy and appreciate it.
Ilana, the sad annoying fact is that people are always ALWAYYYYS going to be judgemental. No matter how careful you are. I love your blog. I have no children and am in my late 20s and currently (due to returning to school) I’m not traveling as much as I once did. That doesn’t mean I don’t ADORE reading/watching your travels. Everyone’s reality is different! Mazzy and Harlow and Mike are all great and I love that you are respecting their wishes for the amount of airtime they get on your blog. That’s awesome and I love that as well.
What I’m trying to say is, we have your back. I love getting a glimpse into your world because whether or not you get to go on fun trips or this or that, I like it because you’re so relatable at base level. And you’re a social justice warrior raising two girls who will be empowered women in this world (we need that). KEEP IT UP AND I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE CHEERING YOU ON (and responding to random things on Snapchat lol). <3
also, follow on: can you share the backpack brand with the bunny on it? the one in the picture of your girls waiting in the airport? (signed, bunny obsessed person)
Wow. I feel the need to chime in as well. I can’t believe the nasty comments i’m seeing on this post! Do people actually enjoy putting others down to make themselves feel better? Do they expect every blogger to comply to their exact needs and specifications? (eye roll)
I’ve been reading this blog for a couple years now and I’m in my early 30s and don’t even have kids! I still find things to relate to as I live in NYC as well and I love seeing your adorable family going through the same city things we can all relate to: walking everywhere, trying new restaurants, the struggles of public transportation (lol). I also love to see how parents manage city-living as I try to imagine myself doing the same with kids someday (I grew up in Texas so I don’t know it from that perspective).
The truth is, for those of us who love traveling, we make it a priority and make it work within our budgets. You don’t need to be well-off to find ways to visit new places with your family. It would also be my dream to be able to write content that is valuable enough where sponsors want to fund that travel.
Anyways, all this to say that keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let the negative nancies on here get into your brain! I see your success as an inspiration and most of us love the direction your blog has taken!
As a long time follower, it is so sad to read unkind words regarding the great success you have had! I look forward to reading your posts, seeing your pictures, and hope that you and the family enjoy the perks that come with your line of work. While it seems like there have been many sponsored posts in the last year or 2, I would never fault you for taking the opportunity to take your family on great vacations! (And as you mentioned, these were not even sponsored trips). I’m sure you will figure out your “future”, and most of us our happy to continue reading about your journey!
She’s just writing about the reality of her life. And she always has, nothing has changed. Her ability to afford a beautiful apartment in the east village of manhattan and raise 2 kids with a nanny and a Hampton’s house also is not very relatable, it’s always the “normal life” things she throws in about the children that make us read her blog. Idk why you are acting like you just realized she is wealthy. if you are a long time reader then you probably helped her blog be successful and are a contributor to her ability to live this way!
Ilana, sorry if the above sounds like a backhanded compliment, you are doing great and I love reading your blog!!!!!! Keep doing you
Looking for similar headphones for some upcoming flights for the kids. Can you share which your kids use?
I’m glad you’ve found a way to blend your stepmom’s traditions. I personally don’t love the idea of celebrating Christmas as a Jew, but I get where you’re coming from. Christmas was historically such a dangerous time for Jews, with many pogroms happening then, that I find it hard to be “cool” with it these days even though obviously, times have changed. I also find there’s so much magic in our traditions that I don’t need to supplant it elsewhere. Just my two cents 🙂
And, please take as many trips as you can!! Milk it for all it’s worth – I love the trip recaps. So don’t worry about those people who think it’s extravagant or not “on brand,” because many of us enjoy it.
I was raised Jewish and spent Christmas at my Aunt and Uncle’s home. I loved it! I always felt left out though because we never had Santa come or gifts on Christmas morning. We just did Christmas Eve at their home and it was so great. My kids, who are grown and 2 of them have their own children now, celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. I love it. There is nothing better than sharing love and tradition with family. You make each holiday what it is for you and your family and owe NOBODY an explanation as to why. Showing your children there is more than ONE way is in my opinion, a wonderful thing. Thank you for sharing.
Love this post! The holidays are a magical time for kids, no matter how/what you celebrate, and you gave yours wonderful memories they’ll be able to look back on with a smile.
Change is a part of life, and as your family grows and changes, your thoughts and views on things will, too! As someone who has kids similar in age to yours (boys 5 and 7), I love seeing how your family does life. Even though I have boys, I still see a lot of similarities in the oldests and youngests personalities. I find you relateable, honest, funny, and inspiring, and love your blog/feed! Thank you!
Ok, i have to say something. Why do people feel the need to express such negativity. Your blog, you do it however the heck you want. Many of us will like it and follow along. Those who can’t relate or think you’re rich as fuck can easily not follow anymore. I’m sure there is other entertainment out there for them. Just stop with the bashing and judging. So ugly. Go away ugly people and crawl back into your dark holes.
Some people are clearly trying to be bullies, their comments do not even make sense! It is normal for two little girls of different ages to receive age appropriate care and go through different activities that suit their evolving personalities. I have been following this blog since Harlow was a baby and it is sweet watching these two cute girls grow up surrounded by a loving family. 🙂
I noticed there is a new series about getting around NYC along with these travel posts and I personally do enjoy these a lot. Very normal and interesting shift in topics.
All the best in this new year <3
Wow..all your kids are really very cute and I just love your family. The way you celebrate the Christmas is very impressive. Thanks for sharing.