You know that feeling when you enter a restaurant and suddenly realize that all eyes are on you? Except you aren’t a celebrity and no one wants your autograph. You just have kids. Everyone wants you to take that stroller, turn around, and march back out the door before you ruin everybody else’s meal.
And you’re like— oh hell, no. Parents and kids are allowed to eat dinner out too!!!! And then your kids start climbing on the booths and throwing french fries on the floor and you’re like, ummm…if I bury my head in my purse and tip more than the meal cost, do you think they’ll let me come back?
I haven’t been very shy about the disaster that can ensue when taking my kids out to eat. Luckily, I’m not the only one because many of you have shared your finest dining moments on #averageparentproblems. I’ve compiled my favorites as a nice reminder that I am not alone in this whole average parenting thing.
If you have kids who sit quietly and eat all their food with a fork?
THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU.
Here are 31 problems when dining out with kids…
1) When you have to wait for a table
2) When you wonder why booster seats don’t come with duct tape
3) When they pull inspiration from their surroundings
4) When they prevent you from eating raw fish… even after they are born
5) When they find out the restaurant doesn’t serve dino nuggets
6) When they’ll only eat french fries
7) When they wanted to go to a classier establishment
8) When they make themselves at home
9) When they want to share your beer
10) When they start ordering things to the table
11) When they all want to sit with mom
12) When they all want to sit with dad
13) When they don’t want to sit at all
14) When it feels more like a hair salon than a restaurant
15) When the restaurant doesn’t serve bread before meal
16) When you let them eat out of jam containers
17) When they just wanted to eat at home
18) When the food takes too long to arrive
19) When your food comes before your kid’s food
20) When it doesn’t feel like the happiest place on earth
21) When it seems like they’re the ones drinking the caffeine
22) When they may have gotten into your drink when you weren’t looking
23) When the restaurant provides extra screen time and you’re not even sorry
24) When they insist on using chopsticks
25) When all they want is dessert
26) When you don’t even care that bedtime is screwed
27) When you swear they don’t do this at home
28) When most of the food is on the floor
29) When they aren’t happy with their piece of bacon and want yours
30) When nobody will let you eat
31) When you’ve run out of things to talk about
32) When they crash your birthday dinner
33) When you should’ve chosen a fast food option with a jungle gym
34) When you’re sure you’re getting kicked out at any moment
35) When you just want the check
36) When you swear you’ll never go out to eat again
So yeah, let’s all order in tonight.
…and for the rest of eternity.
For more funny photos like there, follow @averageparentproblems on Instagram.