When you have a kid, there are two ways to dress them on Halloween. Let them be what they want to be or make them go as what YOU want them to be. And if you’ve got a toddler that you’ve always wanted to put on a leash, what better way to take advantage of October 31st than by encumbering him or her with a riduculously hard to maneuver costume?
Take our friend Hannibal above. That kid can’t run, move his arms or even eat candy. Is that a Halloween costume or a clever punishment enacted by parents who really needed a break?
Below are 14 other kids in costume that make me wonder if their parents had other motives besides giving them a kickass Halloween.
PRAYING MANTIS
I’m not even sure her parents are going to let her back in the house when she is done trick or treating. “Sorry, sweetie, your costume won’t fit in the door. Guess you’re sleeping in the yard tonight!”
WILSON
Nothing renders a child immobile like stuffing a onesie with copious amounts of padding. Especially during a run-in with the ocean.
REFRIGERATOR
If she complains about her costume, her parents can just close the freezer. She doesn’t even have access to her arms to open it back up.
HEADLESS MAN
I don’t know if this poor boy’s parents were kind enough to poke holes, but either way— what better way to drown out a kid prone to incessant screaming than to stick his head in a jar?
OSCAR THE GROUCH
Looks like Oscar’s parents dressed him up, left him outside on the curb with the rest of the trash and then went out to dinner.
WHACK-A-MOLE
“Stand still, honey. I just need to test out your costume to make sure the mallet head doesn’t fall off on impact.”
A PENNY
I just hope Abe’s parents didn’t sacrifice half of his face for his costume. Also, they are totally laughing at him on the other side of that coin.
PACK OF CHARMIN
This toddler must have done something pretty awful to seal her fate. Let’s just hope her parents didn’t toss her into a crowded public restroom. She would never make it out alive.
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
Yes, this costume is AWESOME. But those scissors are heavy, that neck belt is tight, the outfit takes five hours to unbuckle and Edward was just recently potty trained.
PICNIC BASKET
The best way to contain a crawler is by trapping her inside a basket and using several gourmet food items to weigh her down.
iPODs
This one is literally a leash. And possibly a method of electric shock therapy.
LOBSTER
Not only is this kid confined to the couch, but his parents have a pot of water boiling in the kitchen, in case their little lobster needs a permanent TIME OUT.
And now for two outfits that might not prevent your child from moving, but are punishment all the same.
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE & PEDRO
These two kids have absolutely no idea they are dressed as the two biggest losers to ever grace American cinema.
LAME ROBOTS
The big kid might be fooled but the little kid knows what’s up. Their parents half-assed their costumes and are sending them out in public to be ridiculed by their friends. I mean— the older kid’s costume involves what looks like a VHS tape. The only thing worse than going as a super lame cardboard robot, is going as one with outdated technology.
Photos found on Tots & Giggles, Neatorama, Huffington Post, WTF Costumes, Buzzfeed and Tracy Press.
This is hilarious!! Made my husband and I LOL 🙂 Thanks for the laugh. New follower 🙂
Amanda
The Pretty Pinhead
Too funny. The last one wins the award for “I Can’t Give A Freaking Shit About Halloween”.
That picnic basket is ADORABLE.
These are awesome!! I never know what I’m going to get when I log onto Mommy Shorts each morning… and I definitely did not expect Hannibal Lechter today at 7am!
That Hannibal costume is scary for a kid, I think. The headless man is awesome! Glad Mom poked air holes on the top ;). And that Charmin costume is the easiest one! LOL. Aw, baby in a basket! I can’t wait to see what awesome costume you’ve got planned for Mazzy!
Before we judge the last costume too harshly – one year, when my daughter was six, she took a huge box we had, decided it would be perfect for a Robot costume, and of her own accord decorated and created it. It kind of resembled the last costumes above, as was designed and coloured by a six year old. She was so proud of her creation. I was proud of her for taking the initiative to create and enjoy her own costume. I could have made it “better” for sure – but to me THAT would have been a lame parenting fail, when she wasn’t asking for help and was content with using her own imagination and skill. I could care less what her costume looked like compared to homemade adult creations.
Yes, BUT. Would your six-year-old daughter have included a VHS cartridge? Or would it look more like a wireless digital control panel? Cause I’m guessing most people under 25, don’t even know what a VHS tape IS…
Oh my goodness yes! I can’t get over that face!! I feel baby fever coming on!
Note the “silence” button on the big robot. Definitely made by a parent.
All those costumes were aaaawesome. LOVE Napoleon & Pedro. Wish I had thought of it. But that is the saddest little triscuit I ever did see (but what a clever idea) Wish I had seen the Hannibal Lecter one. I would have totally made my son where that.
This picnic basket did me in… I LOVE it!
Actually, we are one of the few remaining dinosaurs that can still Kick It Old School as we still have an operational (joint) DVD/VCR player … when she was 3-7, some of her favourite movies were on VCR tapes. Our family did upgrade with the subsequent child in that my preschooler could probably not draw a VCR ( which we do still own and have in use, just more on the DVD aspect now) but rather a perfect replication of Rogers on Demand ;). But look at it this way – if we can keep it operational until they are teens, what better punishment if needed than to say ” no phone, no smartphone, no cable, no DVD, no Netflix, no On demand, no PVR, no computer, no iPads or the like … but no we are not banning all movies as you ARE allowed to use the VCR!” ( bwaa-haaa-haaaa)
It’s no wonder that grouch looks so grouchy!
OMG – yup. Hated that stupid Dynamite movie – can NEVER get that time back. I also love the picnic basket a lot.
Some of these costumes defy the imagination. Edward Scissorhands – I can only imagine what his parents look like -Great post!
These are great! I love the little box of Triscuits in the picnic basket. And your caption for Freezer Girl made me laugh.
And that last costume is awesomely bad.
I’m really cracking up at the box of Triscuits. TRISCUITS!
Thanks for the laugh! I needed it! The Hannibal costume and Napolian Dynamite were the best!
I absolutely LOVE the Edward Scissorshand costume! I was obsessed with that movie back in the day! Who doesn’t love Johnny Depp???
When my now 30 yr old son was 4 I had no money to buy a costume,so I made it. He like Bruce Springsteen at that age so I put a white tshirt, a jean jacket, some levis and let him go like that. He thought is was very cool, I on the other hand thought it was as lame as I could get without even trying! It was a sad…