Last week, we went on a family ski trip to Utah with Mike's cousins. The first night was a little rocky (Mazzy told me in perfect english that she wanted to go home) but otherwise we had a blast.
We spent three days skiing (while Mazzy was well taken care of by our non-skiing cousin, Robyn) and two days doing various snow activities, including building the world class snowman pictured above (with Tostitos for eyes; improvisation is everything).
Most of the snow activities went well with the exception of a failed toddler skiing attempt which went down exactly as you would expect.
Why we took a two year old skiing is beyond me. I guess I had brief visions of Mazzy, a young Winter Olympic hopeful, telling a 75-year-old Bob Costes how her mother plopped her in skis at the young age of two and she'd been downhill racing ever since.
I should have aborted the mission the second we put her ski boot on in the shop.
"I don't like it."
"Yes, I know. Everybody hates ski boots."
"I don't like it."
Somehow, we managed to get both boots on without a major meltdown. Must have been my "suffering in the name of fun" pep talk.
I stood Mazzy up and she stood there like her feet were Krazy-glued to the ground.
I carried her to the slopes while Mike somehow carried three pairs of skis. (My husband can be very impressive when he wants to be.)
Once on the base of the bunny slope, we attached Mazzy's skis, watched her immediately criss-cross them over each other and then FREAK THE FUCK OUT.
It was all in classic terrible-twos-fashion except for the fact that FREAKING THE FUCK OUT in this instance was totally understandable since we had just tethered her legs to two long slippery sticks, effectively rendering them useless and confusing the crap out of her.
I picked a weeping Mazzy back up and carried her off the slope.
Did I mention how much heavier a toddler is with boots and skis weighing them down?
We then unattached the skis, carried everything back to the ski shop, returned her gear, went back to the car and drove back to the condo.
The entire exercise took about 45 minutes.
No gold medals for us.
Unless they start a Winter Toddler Carrying Compeition. I will go pro in no time.
Another possibility is bringing "sleigh driving" to the Olympics. Or maybe in the X games or something? Check out Mazzy in training below.