I got nominated for a Shorty Award!!!! That’s like the Oscars for Social Media and I have to say, it seems like a pretty big deal. I have absolutely no idea how this happened but I’m not going to ask questions because I don’t want anyone looking into it. Whoever nominated me, thank you. Even if it was my own mother. But I really don’t think it was her because she texted me today to ask the address of a restaurant and doesn’t she realize she can just google that herself???

Other nominees include social media powerhouses like Chrissy Teigen, Ryan Reynolds, Drake, Kylie Jenner, Aziz Ansari, Oprah and Pumpkin the Raccoon. So… I’m just sitting here thanking my lucky stars that none of them are nominated in my category. I mean, how do you compete with a domesticated raccoon who eats blueberries and reads the newspaper?? You don’t even try.

You can see all the nominees listed in this announcement from The Hollywood Reporter, including me, if you scroll really really really really really far down to the parenting category.

I’m listed as Ilana Wiles (not Mommy Shorts), in case you didn’t realize that was my real name. Hello. Nice to meet you.

Want to see everyone who won last year? It starts with Jimmy Fallon and ends with Taylor Swift and it’s pretty intimidating. Here’s a video that shows the winners and some of the ceremony, which honestly, if I just got to go to that, I’d be happy.

Just to be clear, the parenting category is no cake walk either. I checked out the other people and was like DAMMMMN, these parents are GOOOOOD, but we won’t talk about them because THEY ARE THE ENEMY. I mean, my competition. I mean, probably really nice deserving people and I wish them all very happy tantrum-free lives filled with lots of naps.

Also, I should probably note that I’m not a four-year-old, even though that’s what you’d probably think if your first exposure to my “best work” was my Shorty Awards write-up. It includes all videos of Harlow being Harlow. I mean, I agree, Harlow is probably my “best work,” but I swear, I do other things that actually display some of my own talent. Like, for instance, I made another person called Mazzy, who might be aging out of the “Adorable Instababy” phase but is still all kinds of awesome.

Now here’s where we get to you guys…

In order to come even close to winning this thing, I need your votes. If you are so inclined, the link to vote is here or you can click on the image below.

When you vote, you can share on facebook and twitter for extra votes. But unfortunately for you guys, it doesn’t end there. You can vote once a day for a month, so this is my way not-so-subtle way of warning you— I will probably bug you guys again. In fact, I might just put a reminder to vote under each of my posts for the next 30 days to make it as easy for you guys to vote as possible. 

Anyway— please vote for Harlow!

I mean, ME!!!!