Photo Contest: $250 Target Gift Card + Bitsy’s Brainfood
One of the things I love about having a two-year-old is listening to all the funny stuff that comes out of her mouth. Whether she’s telling jokes that make no sense or mispronouncing words (Snoopy is Snoofy, which is the cutest thing ever) or trying to engage me in the beginnings of an actual conversation, it is all adorable.
But the best is when Harlow totally wows me with a zinger or an insightful response or an extra big word that makes me realize she is way smarter than her size would have you believe.
Here are 13 examples of smart stuff Harlow has said or done recently that suggest she is way wiser than her years.
1. Harlow has perfectly sound mermaid logic.
A few weeks ago, we were swimming in the pool when Harlow’s big sister asked me a very important question.
Mazzy: Mom, are mermaids real?
I didn’t have to answer because Harlow immediately weighed in.
Harlow: YES!!!!!
Mazzy: How do you know?
Harlow: Because I’m a mermaid!
2. Harlow is a master of small talk.
We had a few new friends over the other day. Most of the kids were swimming in the pool but Harlow chose to sit with the adults who were chatting poolside. She screamed “STOP TALKING!!!!” because she hates when the conversation doesn’t revolve around her.
Me: The adults are allowed to talk to each other, Harlow.
Harlow: Talk to ME.
Me: Ok. What would you like to talk about?
Harlow: Cookies, cars and dinner.
And then all the adults (+ Harlow) spent the next twenty minutes talking about their favorite kinds of cookies, their favorite cars and what they would be having for dinner, which made for way better conversation than whatever nonsense we were talking about previously.
3. Harlow mastered hopscotch on her very first try.
4. Harlow has good reasons for being scared of the dark.
HARLOW: It’s dark out!
ME: I know. It’s getting late.
HARLOW: I’m scared of the dark!
ME: What are you afraid of?
HARLOW: (without missing a beat) ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!
Not exactly the answer I was expecting.
Here are Harlow’s exact words after listening to Taylor Swift’s “Style” while riding in the car: “If you are out of style, then your hair won’t look pretty. You don’t want to be out of the style.”
Truth.
6. Harlow knows the importance of her own name.
I took Harlow to a carnival and she got to go on real rides for the first time. No fear whatsoever. On the ride above, Harlow had her heart set on the pink car so she climbed in even though another girl was already sitting there. Then as the ride was going in circles, I watched her chat this older girl up the whole time.
“What did you talk about?” I asked Harlow when it was over.
HARLOW: You know, our names… stuff like that.
ME: What was her name?
HARLOW: I don’t know. I told her I was Harlow.
7. Harlow understands the difference between a good sandwich and a bad sandwich.
ME: You haven’t eaten any of your sandwich.
HARLOW: I don’t like sandwiches!
(pause)
HARLOW: Well, I like ice cream ones.
8. Harlow always practices fairness.
Fyi, I have no idea where she learned this. She just busted it out during dinner one day.
9. Harlow has an excellent memory.
Whenever I tell Harlow she can’t do something (like this morning it was cut an apple with a cleaver), she asks “Can I do it when I’m bigger?”
I say yes and then she runs through a whole list of things she has built based on previous conversations, so I know she is keeping track. So far the list is, “When I get bigger I can jump in the deep end, I can paint my nails, I can chew gum, I can wear lipstick and I can cut an apple with a knife.”
Not only does she have an excellent memory, she has big (yet attainable) goals.
10. Harlow knows how to use our words against us.
Speaking of getting bigger, Mike and I have used that to try and convince Harlow to eat more, since she is a notoriously picky eater. So now, when we tell her she is not getting dessert, she breaks down on the floor and cries, “BUT I WANT TO GET BIGGER!”
11. Harlow makes up her own words and they are better than the originals.
I handed Harlow a handful of cherry tomatoes and said, “Here are some tomatoes.”
HARLOW: No, Mom, there are four matoes!
I looked. There were indeed “four ‘matoes”.
Whether she was purposefully making a joke or not, I have no idea. She wins either way.
12. Harlow knows how to use pronouns.
Harlow was facetiming with Grammy and showed her a My Little Pony doll.
GRAMMY: Oh, is that My Little Pony?
HARLOW: NO! it’s MY little pony.
GRAMMY: Right. That’s what I said. It’s My Little Pony.
HARLOW: It’s not YOUR little pony! It’s MY little pony!
GRAMMY: Oh okay, it’s YOUR little pony.
HARLOW: That’s right.
Like my own personal Abbott and Costello routine.
13. Harlow does a spot on imitation of her mom.
Harlow always asks me to play “baby” and “mommy”. Usually I’m the mommy and she’s the baby which is oddly similar to how we act together anyway. The other day, Harlow switched roles and said she was the mommy and I should be the baby.
ME: Goo goo ga ga.
HARLOW: Put your phone down or else I will take away TV. Now go to sleep. I said close your eyes. Now… WHERE ARE MY SUNGLASSES????
Yep. She’s got me down to a tee.
Today, I’m launching a search for the Smartest Cookie for the chance to win a $250 Target gift card and a selection of products from Bitsy’s Brainfood!
Bitsy’s Brainfood was started by two moms who believe learning to eat smart should be fun. They make nut-free whole grain vitamin-packed organic cookies (sold in the cookie aisle at Target) with flavors like Zuchinni Gingerbread Carrot, Orange Chocolate Beet and Sweet Potato Oatmeal Raisin.
Bitsy’s Brainfood doesn’t hide the fact that there are vegetables in their cookies— they want kids to embrace their veggies and know they’re good for them.
The cookies are in the shape of the alphabet because— DUH. What is smarter than learning to spell while you eat your sweets?
In addition to the regular bag, they also come in a pack of 16 single serve bags perfect for a healthy nut-free Halloween alternative.
To enter, just post a comment below or on the Mommy Shorts Facebook page explaining an instance when your kid said or did something super smart. You can also post a picture on Instagram tagging #bitsysmartcookie with a caption. If you post on Instagram, you must tag and follow both @mommyshorts and @bitsysbrainfood.
I’ll post my favorites and announce the winner on September 24th date!
Me: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Landon, age 3: “I still want to be Landon.”
I have two daughters, a three and a half year old and a five year old. My youngest has recently taken issue with being called the “little” sister. I overheard my five year old tell her “Fine. You can be the BIG sister, and I will be the BIGGER sister.”
Attempting to wash my son’s dirty face. “Mom careful with my head. It has my brain in it and I will need my brain.”
I have a 3 year old girl with a lip balm obsession. One morning, this occurs:
E (to herself, examining her “lipstick” collection): Hmm…what should I put on?
Me: I have an idea about what you can put on. How about your clothes? Come over and get dressed, please.
E: Mom…Lipstick is clothes for our mouths.
Touche, child. (But you still have to get dressed!)
Jack, 6yo: I’m saving up to buy a dog. How much is a dog?
Me: It’s not just about having money. Right now, Mom and Dad have told you that you may not have a dog right now.
Belle, 4yo: But when Mom and Dad get old and die…. THEN we can get a dog!!!
When my older one was 1-1/2 yr old, she had learned her colors. One day, at the zoo, I asked her what animals are black & white? She answered “zebra, panda, Cookie (our dog)”. And what else? I asked hoping she would remember skunk which we learned from her animal book 2 days earlier. Instead, she said “Oh, Daddy hair black and white” REALLY loud, and people around us all bust out laughing. I’m glad Daddy was not with us that day.
PS: On that same day, she corrected a man that “Gibbon is ape, not monkey”. That was her exact words when a father next to us keep on calling out “sweetie look at the monkey, look at the monkey” to his 2yr old boy.
My oldest is now 7 but this happened when he was almost 4. He had been potty-trained for a while but he was still using s diaper at night. We were trying to get rid of it and get him to get up and pee in the middle of the night. One night I said “don’t you want to be like your cousin Gracie? She uses underwear at night and no diaper! You love her. Wear underwear like her!” He turns to me and says, ” I don’t want to be Gracie. I’m me. I’m Paul. I’m not Gracie.” Last time I ever asked him to do something because someone else was doing it.
My 2 and half year old daughter calls going barefoot, “teddy bear feet”. I tried to explain that bare and bear sound the same, but are spelled differently and have different meanings. In the meantime, I think Teddy Bear Feet is the cutest thing ever.
Zoey age 3: “Mom, the gray clouds have rain in them and the white clouds make wind. They blow the rain out so my flower can grow REAL big. And trees too!”
I asked my four year old daughter to do something and she responded in a smart alec way.
Me: A, why are you speaking to me like that?
A: I’m just being sarcastic, gosh mooomm!
O: Does the food go into my tummy?
Me: It goes in through your mouth and down to your tummy.
O: The food goes in my mouth and then my esophagus and then my tummy and then my small intestine and then my big intestine and then my giant intestine and then to poopy.
Me: Have you been reading the body book with Oma again?
My 5 year old’s grocery store logic:
Me: mason, grandma is going to the store to get you medicine. Is there anything else you want her to bring you?
Mason: yeah! A bouncy house where I can jump up and down like this!
Me: um, she’s just going to the grocery store. They don’t have bouncy houses there.
Mason: oh… Then nothing..
When my son was 2 or 3 we were sitting at the table and for whatever reason he started pouting…stuck his bottom lip out. My husband told him put your lip up. My son did not respond just stuck his nose up. My husband said again Put your lip up…My sons head went even higher up. At this time I started to try not to laugh but my husband didn’t understand why again he said PUT YOUR LIP UP NOW! My Son threw his head back so that he was looking at the ceiling and yes his lip was UP as high as he could get it. Poor thing was just doing what he was told.
Not sure if this fits or not. He says wise stuff all the time but I can’t think of one of them now that I need to!
My (then) 2 year old daughter, Rebecca: “When I become a teenager I can wear boobies like mommy!” OY VEY.
Mom: Finish your dinner
Addison: I’m full
Mom: Ok, but no dessert
Addison: My FOOD stomach is full, but my DESSERT stomach is hungry.
One night we were folding laundry in our bedroom while Luke (shy of 3 yrs old) was playing on my phone. Went into the kitchen For a couple minutes and he comes running out and laughing and says “I just called your Mom” .. Sure enough he called Gramma. No idea how he dialed the right name or why he said it that way. We were dying laughing and shocked at how he came up with that.
My family was at dinner this summer with my kid’s Glamma. We were talking about the upcoming run of family birthdays (7 in 2 weeks, seriously.) My 5 year old gave us this gem:
JAMES: Glamma, how old are YOU?
ME: It’s rude to ask ladies how old they are.
JAMES: Oh, yeah! ‘Cause it just makes them think about when they’re gonna DIE!
Totally true, and yet completely insulting on multiple levels. Well done, son.
Me: “You are so silly.”
Morgan: “I not silly. I Morgan.”
Kaydence Age 2 1/2. We are trying to potty train her. I know she is smart enough. She just has a baby brother who is getting a little more attention right now.
Me: Kaydence do you want to go pee on the toilet?
Kaydence: No. I want to go in my diaper.
Me: Ok. You want to stay a baby like your brother?
Kaydence: No! I am not a baby! I am a big girl! (Proceeds to go pee on the toilet)
She says funny smart things all the time. I really should write these things down! 🙂
At about 3.5 my daughter used the word “devastated” correctly. She just turned 4 and constantly uses words I didn’t realize she knew. “Realize” is one of the words she’s popped out.
My son asked me in the car the other day, “What are drugs?” I did my best to answer him… I told him that some people do drugs because their friends do or tell them to or they think it’s cool or they believe it is fun or makes them feel good, but really they were very bad for your brain and your heart and your body. I told him it would make me sad if he did them. His response was, “Well, I’m glad you told me not to do them, because I probably would have.” Dead pan. I couldn’t contain my laughter. He is six!!
My husband lets our girls have Toaster Strudel at breakfast sometimes on the weekend. I never do, but one day when my 4 year old daughter asked, I said “ok”.
As I was getting the thing ready to make, I asked her, “Morgan, does Daddy put this in the microwave or toaster to warm it up?” (A serious question, mind you)
Without skipping a beat, Morgan replies “Well, it says TOASTER strudel, Mom, sooooo”
Oh. Well. I guess I should have figured that out on my own….
My 3 1/2 year old daughter is constantly saying funny stuff. This is one of the best (at least lately).
She likes to help after her bath by applying lotion but will ONLY put it on her chest and belly. I asked her one evening what she was doing, as she placed the lotion on two specific spots on her chest:
Me: “Lila, what are you doing?”
Lila: “I’m putting the lotion on my little booms”
Booms…boobs…same thing, right?
I now ask her what she’s doing every night just to hear this because it still has both my husband and me in stitches every single time she says it. I try to write all of this stuff down – one day I’ll have enough of her “sayings” to fill a book! 🙂
They have a little book just for kids quotes. It’s lather bound and perfect for writing down memories
Jaxon (3 y.o.): YaYa, where is my mommy?
Me: She’s in Miami.
Jaxon: She’s in your-ami?
I submitted an almost identical story at the same time as you!
I don’t know if this counts as super smart, but your 4 matoes comment reminded me of a misunderstanding my son had with the name of the city of Miami. We were playing airplane and flying to Miami. Then we got off of that plane and boarded another plane to “your ammy”. So he thought I was talking about a place named Ammy, that belonged to me.
Thanks for the giveaway!
Our 2-year-old daughter has gotten into the habit of running out of her room and into ours at bedtime. Its pretty much because she has learned how to open the doors. Here is an exchange between my husband and her:
Daddy: Lucille you need to go to your bed.
Lucille: Why?
Daddy: Because happy people sleep in their own beds. (Not sure WHERE he got that logic.)
(pause)
Lucille: Where do sad people sleep?
I busted out laughing. Couldn’t help it.
The other day I was in the car with my daughter, Caitie, and we had just mailed my mother, who we call Gigi, her birthday gift, and we were talking about what Caitie was going to have for lunch. Now for this to be funny, you have to know that we call my mother-in-law Nana.
Me: Caitie, for lunch do you want a PB&J?
Caitie: Yeah, Momma
Me: And a banana?
Caitie: Or a ba-gigi!
Needless to say I about died laughing and couldn’t wait to tell Gigi and Nana about it!
And my mother, Gigi, treasures this story and tells EVERYONE about it.
My 3 year old ended a tense “discussion” between two ladies behind us in line at Target. She walked back, stood between them, hands on her hips and said “Say ‘Bye Felicia’ and move on!” Definitely diffused the situation! Wise beyond her years.
My Father-in-law calls my Mother-in-law Monkey as his pet name for her. While around my daughter (2) he started saying Nanie was the big monkey and she was the little monkey. One day when he said this she busts out no I am the big monkey too, I sleep in my big girl bed all night by myself.
She also started calling herself big honey because my husband calls me honey.
My daughter was 22 months and I was putting her bed. We normally read two books, have milk, and then she lays down. She wanted an extra book and I said “one more, and then it’s bed time”. She replied “No, Keira will cry waa waa, you read more stories”.
I was encouraging her to use the potty and she wanted to be naked so I said we could do that if she would sit on the potty. As soon as I took her diaper off she said ‘mommy sit on potty’ thinking id set an example I went into the bathroom, as soon as I sat down she shuts the door on me and tells me she’s peeing on the carpet. By the way this was exactly what she wanted to do she loves peeing on the carpet and knows she’s not supposed to.
I am a grammar freak, but I love that my daughter says “I amn’t” instead of “I’m not”. It actually follows the rules for making a contraction with a verb and the word ‘not’. I amn’t kidding!
After a long day at work, I picked my daughter up and we were headed home. I sorta mumbled under my breath “uuughh…traffic” and my 3 year old says “Right? Mama, this traffic is serious…just like bird poop.”
She calls it like she sees it!
“A grown up’s wine is very hard to hold on to, especially with a person nearby in the way” wisdom by my daughter, aged 2, who manages to knock my wine all over me way too often, no matter how hard I try to keep it away from her.
The other night my son and I were talking about babies (we have a new baby in the house), and I was telling him how he (and his siblings) are made up of half me, and half their dad. And I said how I was made up of half Nana and half Grandpa. And so he said, “So if you’re made of Nana and Grandpa, then I am too. So we are all connected, and that’s what makes us family.”
Since he was almost 3, my son, who has never been a good napper, has consistently informed us that he does not need a nap, but that he would prefer to just relax.
He has also turned around my reason for no caffeine or alcohol (your brain isn’t ready yet) to inform me that his brain is ready for cake but not dinner. He claims that once he eats cake, his brain will be ready for dinner.
scene: Standing in a long line to look through the telescope at the science center.
Me: This is so exciting, the telescope is aimed at a planet! We will get to see Uranus (I’m from the south, we say “yer-ay-nus”)
Four year old steps up to the eye piece and asks in his loudest stage whisper: Mommy, is that MY ANUS?
Me: (Brushing 6 year old’s hair) Are you sure you brushed your hair? You’ve got a huge knot in the back!
(Pause)
6 Year old: Well, I brushed it yesterday, and you didn’t ask if I brushed it TODAY, sooooo…..
Me: (to husband) Time to save for law school!
My 5 year old asked me if you have to have stitches and if it hurts when you have a baby taken out of your tummy. I told her yes. She told me, well then I’m never getting married because I don’t want to have to have stitches or be in the hospital!
We were on a long drive to the beach from Pa to Nc and my girls were bickering in the back seat. My 5 year old, Adelyn said “Mooooom! Camdyn just called me a chicken head!” Just as I turned around to say something my 2 year old Camdyn said “I didn’t call you a chicken head….I said your head looked like a chicken” needless to say I never scolded her because I was too busy laughing. Who knew my 2 year old could be so witty!
Last year we had to put our family dog (named cricket) to sleep. It was a very hard time for us and I wanted to break the news gently (but honestly) to my girls – ages 2 and 4
Me: I wanted to tell you that Cricket died today, God came and took her to Heaven. Mommy is very sad but cricket is in a better place.
Camilla: Is she in heaven now with great-grandma?
Me: yes
We discuss it a bit more, I ask if they have questions and then eventually we go about our regular lives.
A few weeks pass and I’m giving my daughters a bath…
Camilla: What does God look like mommy?
Me: Well love, I am not sure. This is one of the mysteries of life
Camilla: (mouth dropped open) You mean you let him come in here and take our dog and you didn’t even look at his face?!?!
I had to leave the room so she didn’t see me laughing. Sometimes you forget how literal kids are.
My son is 2 and every time we say we are out of something he tells me to go to the store and get a new one. He doesn’t understand that some things cannot be replaced.
My daughter, Soleil, will be 3 in October. She doesnt speak as well as Harlow but she’s getting there. My 14yr old son has a bad habit of putting his feet up on the chair across from him at the kitchen table. Well that upsets Soleil & she screams at him “Beet down!! Beet down” [FEET]. Since our son has been told many times no feet on furninture, a real beat down may be what Soleil is predicting! lol
Discussing age with my 5 year old. Her reply when asked when she was born, without missing a beat, “Oh, long ago.”
My now 10 yr old, back when she was about 5 was returning after spending a weekend with her dad. On the car ride home I asked her what she did over the weekend she responds “I went to college” I asked her what she did at the college she says “I got a degree” so then I ask what kind. Her answer was “a nice one”.
Another time we were driving and it was getting late. She starts today freak out I the back seat. I ask her what was wrong. She sobs “I’m running out of eyesight!” When I looked in the mirror she was dozing off and fighting it because she thought her eyesight was running out.
That reminds me of my son trying not to fall asleep in the car – he kept nodding off and finally he said “mom, my eyes won’t stay open!”
My niece woke up recently and very excitedly told her father that she was taller. He asked how she knew that she was taller and she replied “I looked down and my feet were further away”
She insisted that he measure her on the door jam and she was in fact half an inch taller.
My mom and I were having a discussion with my daughter Emily about birthdays (she had just turned 4). Several birthdays were coming up including my mom’s at the end of the summer. Here is our conversation:
Emily: “Grammy, how many years will you be?”
Grammy: “I’ll be 67 years old.”
Emily: After thinking for several moments . . . “Are we going to have your birthday inside or outside?”
My mom and I looked at each other like, what a funny question to ask. Emily’s never been to an outside birthday party.
Grammy: “We’ll probably have my birthday inside.”
Emily: With a worried look on her face and her arms out wide “But, Grammy, there’ll be SO MUCH FIRE! The house will BURN DOWN!!”
My mom and I burst out laughing and assured her that we would not be putting 67 candles on Grammy’s birthday cake. Emily not only knew that 67 is a very large number but she knew that 67 candles will make a LOT MORE FIRE than the four candles on her birthday cake and having that much fire in the house is a bad thing.
Are these available in Canada?
I’ve got a million but….
Evie with chapstick all over her hands, “Mom, I got something on my hands!
Me: Ok, let’s get you cleaned up and then daddy is taking the chapstick away.
Evie: Ok…that will be a good idea
Me: It’s a cheshire moon!
E: I think it’s a crescent mom.
I asked me daughter what her 5 senses were and she said, mom that’s easy 5 pennies! I was speechless and had to laugh!
My 3 year old (Maddie) was laying on the ground playing with our 5 month old when they bumped heads.
Maddie: Mom! Zeke hit my head.
Me: Zeke is only 5 months old, don’t blame him. Take it back!”
Maddie: But Mom, I don’t know where it went!
My 3 year old: “Mom, why are your buns so big? Is there another baby in there?”
We love those cookies! Especially, the chocolate beet ones!
Not my child, but the funniest smart response I ever heard – so I have to share. Working in the nursery at church one day I was handing out snacks, the two yr old girl to my right asked for crackers, so I said “what’s the magic word?” to which she replied: “Abracadabra.” How could I not give her crackers after that?
Lying on the top bunk w my 6 y/o at bedtime, I hear my 3-1/2 y/o say from the bottom bunk, “lying with Jordan first? That makes no sense!”
2 1/2 year old: Mama, what are you eating?
Six month pregnant Me: Strawberries (which I secretly gobbled up so she wouldn’t see me eating them and ask me for one)
2 1/2 year old: Can I have one?
Six month pregnant Me: I ate them all.
2 1/2 year old: Woooow…so the baby is eating strawberries in your tummy!!!
My 2 year old son was pulling around a toy chicken that “lays” baby chicks as it is pulled along. He had walked across the room and 3 new baby chicks were in a line across the carpet. I asked him “which chicken is the oldest?” to see if he could figure out that it was the one farthest away, that had emerged first. His response, “The Mama”. Touche toddler, touche.
My 4 year old,Abby, has a deep love of the animal kingdom. This summer she was talking with my mom about what they might see at the beach. “Mimi, did you know sharks don’t have bones? They just have cartilage!”
While eating out one day, my 2 year old said there was a “spider” on the other side of the window. Abby looked at it and said matter of factly, “Hannah, that is an INSECT; it only has 6 legs. Spiders have 8 legs because they’re arachnids.”
Conversation with my 9 year old…
My son: what does xoxo mean at the end of a conversation?
Me: the x’s are kisses and the o’s are hugs.
My son: so tic tac toe is a lovers game then?
Kid cracks me up!
I keep a whole Google Doc of my favorite phrases… Here are a few 🙂
Car commercial: “These babies are going to drive off the lot quickly!”
Matteo: “No they won’t. Babies can’t drive.”
Matteo explained to me that his skin is like a kind of tape that
Matteo hid his ball from my husband & says, “I hope Daddy doesn’t use Google to find it”
Matteo: My arm furs are getting longer! I must be growing bigger!
Matteo, “that’s weird! Everyone is trick or treating at the same time as us!”
On election day – “are you a republican or a democrat?”
Matteo – “a boy!”
When we would park after driving somewhere Teo says, “I win the race!”
Matteo was smearing chapstick all over his face so I pretended to read the tube…
Me “it says – only put on lips”
Matteo “let me see that. (Pretending to read the label) It says – put on nose too!”
Matteo would correct me when I read him Goodnight Moon. He interjects with “half moon”
“Belly button: b/c you put buttons in the belly hole”
Me: “do you wanna bring your 4-wheeler that goes by itself?”
Teo: “4-wheeler that goes by itself??”
Me: “you know… The one you sit on & push the button to make it go”
Teo: “it doesn’t go by itself. iiii push the button & drive it”
To his little brother: “Julian. Sometimes we are best buddies. And sometimes we are fighting boys.”
Blah, sorry! Didn’t mean to submit so many. I was pasting them there & was gonna narrow it down, but my phone had a mind of its own haha
My 5 year old provides lots of these but here’s her most recent one:
Me: We need to start packing for our trip today so we can leave early Saturday morning
Her: Is daddy ok with that?
(Clearly she’s confused about the division of power in our house 🙂 )
Took my boys (2yo and 5yo) on a hike last weekend. Going up a ravine with a cliff my 2yo says, “Mommy I’m scared.” 4yo says, “I’m not. I have good balance. Look!” I look and he’s busted out a full yoga tree pose! We keep going, and he turns around and yells, “Vaminos amigos!” He is learning a lot in Kindergarten.
Once when my daughter was very little, we were having a discussion and, since this was back in her wanting to be a paleontologist/ballerina/lawyer phase, she was not letting the issue go and continuing to refute and explain relentlessly….finally in exasperation I asked her, “How is it that you know how to push every single one of my buttons all at once?” She looked up at me very seriously, put her little fists on her hips (her signal for striking the final blow in the discussion), and said, “Mama, I was IN you. I know exactly where they all are.”
We were on our boat and my 22 month old daughter found a pair of binoculars which she has never seen us use. She looked through them up to the sky and said stars (even though it wasn’t dark). Obviously she picked this up somewhere.
My husband is a firefighter who works 24 hour shifts. We often visit especially if he ends up working 36 or 48 hours. My then 3 (now 4) year old asked to visit Daddy “at his other house.” I explained we could visit Daddy at the firehouse but he lives with us. He only works at the firehouse. My son asked if Daddy had a bed and slept at the firehouse. I said yes. Then he asked if Daddy ate his dinner at the firehouse. I said yes. My son then said “Mom, I eat my dinner at my house and my bed is there. And it’s called a fireHOUSE! So can we visit Daddy’s other house?” He won.
I was filling out my son’s birthday poster for preschool and I was asking him the questions and when I got to What do you want to be when you grow up, his response was “Bigger.”. So ok, he will definitely do that!
My 1 1/2 year old took my plate and put it in the sink.
At a restaurant with our almost three-year-old daughter, Shira.
Shira: (to the server, who was wearing the restaurant’s branded shirt): I need a refill, red shirt.
After dinner, as we were packing up to go home.
Shira: Hurry, before the aliens come.
::mike drop::
I have to share my two favorite from both my kids.
#1 My two year old was at preschool and her teacher asked her when her birthday was, she responded with “ummmmmm, when I’m done being two.”
#2 One evening our electricity had gone out for a good portion of the night and I asked my son if he had told anyone at preschool about the event.
“yeah! And I told them about the robot catching on fire!”
Me – huh?
“Dad said a robot caught on fire. ”
Me – oh no, buddy, dad said a Transformer caught on fire. But it’s not the kind of transformer you are thinking of.
“oh, I was thinking like Optimus Prime.”
My two year old (May birthday) is drawing recognizable shapes now and will tell you which shape she is drawing.
3 yo: how was I made?
Me:…. Long pause…um what do you mean?
3 yo: I think my belly button was made by a jack hammer..it makes holes
Glad I dodged a bullet on that one…
My 2.5 year old and I were playing outside when she picked her nose and flicked the booger into the grass. She noticed my look of resigned disgust and said, “no worry mama, the birds will eat it.”
Me: “Do you know why I love you?”
My 3yr old son: “Yes. Because YOU are my beautiful mommy.”
Compliments to mom are always smart. 🙂
My daughter is 2.5 and we’ve recently potty trained but we’re still working on consistently pooping… after going today she announced before flushing “We don’t eat poop, mom.” Where do kids learn these things? Who was trying to eat their poop?? LOL
Ever since she started saying “I love you” we have had an ongoing “I love you more” and “I love you the mostest” thing going… she’s 2.5 now and after I told her I loved her the mostest this morning she said “well, I love you OCEANS!”
My sweet girl was gassy a few weeks ago so I asked her if her tummy hurt. She looked at me like I had 2 heads and said, “No, mommy… that’s not my tummy, that’s my bottom!” She was right, I suppose 😉
We live in the south… we don’t say “you guys” … but my daughter hasn’t quite yet mastered “y’all” She’s smart enough to know she’s supposed to be able to say it though because when I ask her to say it and she struggles, she follows it up with a big “yee haw” to try to make up for it. it’s hilarious since “yee haw” isn’t part of my vocabulary so I don’t even know where she learned it!
We try to say grace at mealtime and my 2 year old daughter usually volunteers.
This was her prayer the other night:
“Father Jesus thank you for the food and mama doesn’t know what she’s doing and daddy doesn’t know what he’s doing. Amen. ”
I guess she’s on to us and was appealing to a higher power to intervene.
When our son was in kindergarten, the teacher was telling the class about a goat that seemed to eat almost anything. The goat even started eating his own goat house. Our son commented: ” So he ate himself out of house and home.” The teacher was so impressed with his observation that she made sure to mention this anecdote to me.
My son says, “Daddy, you’re not LISTENING,” when my husband refuses to do what my son asks. 🙂
After reading my son his bedroom story, of course he did not want to go to sleep, so he says to me “Mommy, I challenge you to read me 5 books tonight”.
My 4 yr old: “Actually, that dolphin summoned mermaid creature power”.
My 2 yr old, to my husband (who was lollygagging): “You can’t mow the lawn in the house”.
I have a 2.5 year old and a very new almost one month old. While I was pregnant we told her that Mom had a baby in her tummy but left it at that, no extra details – we were waiting until she asked more. We did say that Mom would get a pain in her tummy and then baby brother would come out. A few weeks later she came up to me and said “Remember when it was Hallowe’en and I grew Goosey in my tummy?” Goosey is her favorite stuffed toy. I said oh, I didn’t know that – how did Goosey come out? “I squeezed and squeezed like this” (Picture the cutest little miss ever knocking her knees together and wiggling her hips) “Then Goosey popped out and I was REALLY hungry!” Yup, sounds about right kiddo! We figured she had a better grasp of the mechanics that some of her older cousins 🙂
The most recent one that sticks in my mind was from when I was in labor. I have long labors (thank you uterus!) and try to spend as much time laboring at home as possible but with a toddler around I really didn’t want to scare her. It was day two of labor with intense contractions. Hubby was face planted asleep on the bed (when they said sleep between/during contractions I guess he took that part to heart!). I was on the gym ball working hard to breathe things out when my little girl came running in. I thought I was doing great switching from grimace to good morning smile but she said “Mama, why you making that funny face?” I told her i had a little pain and it meant baby brother was coming soon. Then she went over to hubby, started stroking his head and arm and said “It ok Papa…Mama keep making funny faces, you keep asleeping!” Thanks kid, that’s going in the baby book!
On 4th of July we took my 3.5 year old to our towns fireworks. Getting ready to walk there, I doused him in bug spray. I explained this was to keep Mosquitos from biting him. The he said “I will feed them popcorn so then they will be happy and won’t bite me”
We invited a guest to dinner on Labor Day when my daughter was just a couple weeks away from turning three. The guest bailed at the last minute claiming to be sick. As my husband bit into his burger at dinner, he said, “Mr. Smith [name has been changed to protect the guilty!] doesn’t know what he’s missing!” Our daughter looked at him and said, “He’s missing us.”
Me: why didn’t you take a nap at school today?
3 year old: Because No.
Me: that’s not a reason.
3 to: well, I don’t know what to tell you….
My grandmother was telling my just turned two year old how she would have to come over and see their new kitchen. She paused and asked very seriously, “Well, what happened to your old kitchen?”
We were walking home from lunch and the sidewalk had lots of cracked and broken sections. Aaron (2 1/2) told me the monsters & dinosaurs had broken it. Found out later his daycare teacher had used dinos as the explanation but he added the monsters himself.
He’s going through the stage where he wants to make sure everyone knows when something is his (his car, his clothes, his drink, etc) Getting out of the bath, he was asking what his penis was called. So we told him penis and then said “Penits! Is all mines.”
Every time we pass a tree he says there’s “baba buwdies” in it. I asked him if he mean “Baby Birdies” and was told no ever time until I agreed to call them “baba birdies”
Breakfast Conversation with Jessica, Age 3
J: What was the best part of your day mom?
Me: Well Jess it’s sort of early. I don’t know if I’ve had one yet, I guess having breakfast together right now.
J: What was the worst part of your day mom?
Me: Oh I don’t know if I had one yet.
J, no pause: Do you want to know what the worst part of my day was Mom? It was when you and Daddy yelled at me.
Set up by a 3 year old.
Another with Jess, Age 3:
“Mom, God created the animals. Just like Elsa created snow. And she also created her ice palace. So God is sort of like Elsa because they both create things.”
MY KIDS SAW ME COLORING MY HAIR AND ASKED ME WHY I WAS DOING IT. I SAID BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO LOOK OLD, AND MY YOUNGEST SAID “WELL, GRAMMIE IS OLD AND HAS GRAY HAIR BUT SHE GETS DISCOUNTS! DON’T YOU LIKE TO SAVE MONEY?”
This summer we took the kids camping. While we were at the beach, we decided to walk down one of the nature trails. As we walked down a sunny stretch of the path my 4 y/o son says “It’s so HOT, why would we even DO this!?” My husband, 7 y/o daughter, and I burst out laughing and we turned around and headed back to the beach.
Here’s a sampling of my 2.5-year-old daughter’s smart-cookie style:
Marin: Can I have some more cereal?
Me: I already told you no.
Marin: But I like cereal ALL THE TIME!
Me: But you already had a lot.
Marin: THAT’S THE POINT!
Me: Marin, it’s time to go potty.
Marin: But I need to do a dancing monkey. (keeps dancing)
Me: Well, Marin–
Marin (interrupting): A dancing monkey sounds like a REARRY fun idea but FIRST we need to go upstairs and go potty, right, Mommy?
As I’m putting Marin’s diaper and jammies on at bedtime…
Marin: I’m gonna peepee in this diaper right now!
Me: You’d better not! You just went potty in the potty!
Marin: THAT’S NOT PART OF THE PLAN!
Me: What?!
Marin (in a super sweet voice): That’s not part of the plan, Mommy.
Marin runs too far ahead in Target…
Me: Marin, stop.
(Marin stops. She doesn’t turn around but I know she can hear me.)
Me: I told you to stay right next to me or you have to hold my hand. Why aren’t you right next to me?
Marin: I WAS right next to you but I’m just faster than you!
Me: Marin, you really need to behave!
Marin: I’m “have,” Mommy!
Marin is riding a motorcycle toy at the playground…
Me: Where are you going?
Marin: Nowhere, I’m just riding this motorcycle.
Me: What sound does it make?
Marin: It’s not making any sound. It’s a PETEND motorcycle.
Marin is climbing the couch next to me while I’m pregnant with her brother and she steps on my leg…
Me: Ouch, Marin, be careful! Remember? I’m growing a baby!
Marin (with attitude): But are you growing a baby IN YOUR LEG?
While watching bubble guppies which was about snow my husband said to my 3 year old daughter: Ainsley that’s what we are going to do this winter. Get a big pile of snow and play. She reponds in all seriousness , daddy we can’t we don’t have a snow collection!
My 3 year old daughter constantly says things that make me stop in my tracks and she uses big words correctly. She is very kind-hearted and caring and this showed 2 times when she was very encouraging to my husband and me. She wanted my husband to juggle and he said he didn’t really know how. She explained it to him, he tried and she yells “yes! You’re doing it. See I told you to keep trying.”. The second time I was trying to do something for her. She walked up to me, lightly touched my shoulder and said ” mommy if you keep practicing you will get better. I know you can do it”
My three year old has chosen the phrase “I don’t have three hands” as her favorite to get her out of carrying her own stuff, holding hands in the parking lot, whatever cramps her style.
(Using my own words against me, smart cookie skill #1).
The other day, she took this skill to a new level. She was carrying a cup of some kind with one hand. I took the other hand to lead her through a crowded area. She snatched her hand back and gave me the standard “mom, I don’t have three hands!” I pointed out that she only needed two – one for me, one for the cup. She immediately picked up a random rock, dramatically began to juggle both things and said
“I don’t have time to argue with you right now. You can see my hands are full and I DON’T HAVE THREE HANDS”.
I was baking bread. my son (4) was helping.
Me: Okay now this dough needs to sit for 30 min.
Kid: Oh okay.
– 30min later –
Me: Okay now this dough is ready to come out.
Kid: Do you think he learned his lesson?
(in his mind, SIT = TIME OUT)
Harlow sounds a lot like my son Noah. He also keeps a track record of what I have said he can do when he gets older, and he also uses it against me. I think our kids are communicating somehow.
That My Little Pony story reminds me of when my mother was reading Peter Pan to my oldest (who is now 21 but was about 2 at the time). They wrre on the page where Hook and Smee have Princess Tiger Lily in the boat and are taking her into the cave to tie her up where the tide will get her and Peter Pan will have to save her:
Amy (pointing to characters in the boat): Who’s that?
Gramma: That’s Captain Hook.
Amy: Who’s that?
Gramma: That’s Smee.
Amy: That’s *you* Gramma?
Gramma: No – it’s Smee.
(say it out loud, you’ll get it)
I should also add that Amy was the one who kept me in stitches all the time when she was little. Like the time I went into daycare to pick her up and her stuffed rabbit, Mr. Bun, was sitting in time out at the front desk, where children are usually sent to color until they can calm down. I raise my eyebrows at the receptionist and she giggles and says that oh yes – it was quite a day. So I go back to the 3-year-old room and find Amy and ask her how her day went.
Amy (takes a deep breath and plants her fists on her hips and rolls her eyes to the ceiling): WELL. Mr. Bun was naughty and was sent to time out. He was very disruptive during nap time and woke THREE other children. (Yes – she used the word ‘disruptive’!)
Me: Oh really?
Amy (very seriously nodding her head): Oh yes! I was lying quietly on my cot and Mr. Bun was jumping up in the air (here she mimics a tossing motion) and screaming “WHEEEEE!!”
In the midst of a phase in which she slammed shut any door she walked by, she slammed yet another door.
Me: Stop shutting all the doors!
Her: I didn’t! I only shut that one.