Despite thinking Valentine’s Day is a thinly-veiled excuse for greeting card companies to cash in on LOVE with sappy quotes printed next to an illustration of two birds kissing in a cage (what a beautiful metaphor for marriage, don’t you think?), I’m unlikely to complain about getting a box of chocolates.
But sometimes I wonder if a straight up bar of solid chocolate is a better gift than your classic chocolate sampler.
Sure, samplers look beautiful and filled with possibility, but as Forrest Gump famously said, “You never know what you’re gonna get.” There’s usually a chart meant to be useful inside, but with descriptions like “Truffled Artisan Ganache” and “Roman Nougat Whip”, you still have no idea what’s coming your way when you take a bite.
That’s why I created a helpful chocolate box guide with real descriptions of the chocolates you always find inside. You can send me a bar of chocolate to thank me on Valentine’s Day.
Preferably one of those huge over-sized bars that weighs ten pounds.
What’s your least favorite chocolate filling surprise?
This post is a collaboration with Robyn Welling. To read more from Robyn, visit Hollow Tree Ventures and follow her on Facebook.
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Jelly/Jam! Why do they even make chocolates filled with jelly? That sh*t belongs with peanut butter, on my sandwich, not with my chocolate Russel Stover!
The vanilla cream. I just….no.
I believe you can now get Hotel Chocolat in the US. That will change your take on sampler chocolates forever. Especially the range named “boozy”. My husband me to their tasting club for my 30th. Hands down the best gift ever as I am still getting a box of chocolates every 2 months some (not specifying!) years later. Suggest it to significant others. You will not regret it….
Anything with fruit. I don’t believe in mixing anything healthy like that in with my chocolate.
I can’t eat nuts so I hate when I bite into one to find that it has nuts inside. I end up spitting that one back into the box like a 5 year old.
Anything with the word “creme”. Like using the French spelling is going to offset the orange/strawberry/vanilla/coffee nastiness inside.
Ack!!! “Creme” is crap, in my books!
Shouldn’t be on cake either.
Ruining two great food groups is just unforgivable.
my grandmother used to stick her thumb in the bottom of the chocolates to find the one she liked/wanted, and then would put them back in the box. so when we went over her house, all the chocolates that were out, so pretty, had thumb holes in the bottom 🙂
hahahahaaaa. that’s an idea!
If whatever is inside is harder to chew than what’s outside, not so good.
The ones that are just solid chocolate inside. Talk about a let down
Never thought Elmers glue would make me laugh so hard.