BJ Novak, who most of you know as Ryan from The Office, came out with a children’s book today called The Book with No Pictures.
It’s a children’s book with no pictures (as the smart people reading probably already surmised) which might make most parents skeptical it will hold their child’s interest.
I know I was skeptical.
I was sent an early copy about a week ago and decided to test it out on Mazzy.
ME: Mazzy, I got you a new book.
MAZZY: Yay! Let me see it!
I showed her the plain black and white cover with bold serif font.
MAZZY: Oh.
The disappointment was palpable.
ME: It’s called “The Book with No Pictures”.
MAZZY: NO PICTURES??? That doesn’t sound like a very good book.
She was skeptical too.
ME: I know the writer and he’s pretty funny, so let’s give it a shot.
(I don’t really know the writer.)
MAZZY: Oh-kaaaaaay.
That’s her eyerolling begrudging voice. Can you hear it?
We sat down to read the book, Mazzy on one knee and Harlow on the other. It took about four pages for it to click, but by page seven, Mazzy was intrigued (probably because her mother had just shouted the word “BLORK”) and by page ten, she burst out laughing. Harlow started laughing too. I’m not sure if she was trying to match her sister’s enthusiasm or she genuinely got the absurdity of the book. After all, at that point I was talking like a robot monkey.
We’re not talking giggles. We’re talking BIG LAUGHTER. Guffaws, even. (Can a four-year-old girl and her baby sister guffaw? Yes, yes they can.) It was almost like Mazzy and Harlow were having a competition to see who could laugh loudest.
The Book with No Pictures is one of those books that puts emphasis on certain words so you have no choice but to read it correctly and with great animation. By the time I was done, I was like— WOW. I am really a MASTER with children! I had no idea!
Actually, it’s just BJ Novak who is kind of a genius and made an awesomely original children’s book.
Mazzy immediately made me read it again.
MAZZY: AGAIN!!!
Harlow wanted me to read it “agame”- that’s how she says “again”.
HARLOW: AGAME!!!
We read it three more times before I finally said, alright enough. We’ll read it again tomorrow.
ME: Alright enough, we’ll read it again tomorrow.
You really have to hear it to appreciate it, so here’s a video of BJ Novak reading it to a room full of kindergarten students through second graders.
I highly suggest everyone buy The Book with No Pictures, if you are looking for new reading material for your kids. But if you have something against buying books, I’m also doing a giveaway for a signed copy.
All you have to do is follow Mommy Shorts on facebook (or for the facebook averse, subscribe to my newsletter) and leave a comment below with a totally random sentence that would be sure to make your kids laugh.
Something like….
“My best friend is a hippo named Boo Boo Butt”.
The winner will be selected randomly and announced on Friday, October 10th.
Maybe we can convince BJ Novak to read the winner’s comment out loud.
(Probably not, but wouldn’t that be awesome?)
UPDATE: Congratulations to Gia! “Mr. Poo Poo Head will be coming to dinner” as soon as you shoot me an email (ilana@mommyshorts.com) to claim your prize.
—————————————-
This is not sponsored. I just really like the book.
Guess what? Chicken butt!
You want Taco Bell for lunch? (insert loud fake throwing up noise immediately)
I eat boogers.
I don’t have a Facebook account, but I did just purchase the book from Amazon because of your recommendation. Thank you. My daughter (4) loves books and I’m sure this will be a hit. I might even purchase one for her preschool classroom!
licking bums is not on the acceptable list in this house.
My butt hurts.
My kids always laugh when hubby says “I threw a hamburger at an old lady!”
Pokey pines are prickly pests.
Daddy is stinky!
Shake, Shake Sh-Shake it, Sh-shake, Shake it like a hamster!
My son used to call Dora “Blort” and we have no clue where he got it, but he would ask for “Blort yogurt” (she was on the cups of yogurt) all the time and it sure made me laugh.
snickle snazzle diddle pop, I’m riding on my mobile mop!
we sing songs but replace words with the word “cat” or “kitty” or “meow” and my son loves that
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“Chicken butt”
That’s right. We keep it classy:)
Whaaaaat!?
My pet bird, Pickles, ate two snurfleberry sandwiches today and washed it down with some purple milk! Do YOU like purple milk?!?
Does the bumpy bumpy road make a bouncy bouncy baby??
(Said over-enthusiastically of course)
dada doo doo.
The goat ate my underwear!!!
We say “funster” (fun), ” time for up en heimer!”(time to get up!), “go to the dorky mansion”(when you do something dorky or emberrassing), a bunster (is a bunny), and many more. I want the book! :). Slurrrrp!
Tickles!
You so silly. She’s two. Not a tough audience.
Chachunka loves barbeque
I spy with my little eye… a poot! (aka a fart, thanks to her dad my daughter thinks poots and farts are hilarious)
My name is purple snigglefritz. (My iPhone’s autocorrect doesn’t agree though.)
Parker plopped a piece of poop on the picnic table
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”
Wiggly worms wear whalecord waffutis.
“Butt! Buuuuuuutt butt butt BUTT!”
“Did you just call me butt dad?” When the 4yo says, “..but dad..”
all i have to say is “poopy diapers” and my 5 year old son cracks up. le sigh.
I swear this makes my kid laugh: “Eat the cat poop! NO, I will NOT eat the cat poop!” over and over and over again. 😛 An homage to the movie Anchorman.
My boys always laugh at Purple Pineapples!
Pirate Pegleg Poopy Pickle Pete
If your happy and you know it….DON’T pick your nose!
“Sun sun go back to bed we’re not ready for you yet.” accompanied by 3 yr old singing “the sun is nakey mom the sun is nakey” We say this every morning on our commute to daycare. it always get giggles from my 3yr old and 18mo olddaughters.
There’s a chicken on your head! And he forgot to wipe his feet! And he isn’t paying rent! (ensue the giggles from my daughter!)
“Thanks, tummy, for coming to dinner with me!”
“Toot juice poopy-head!”
This looks like a job for CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS!
The Dancing Dinosaurs twirled in their pink tutus
clippity clop..it’s time to hop!
“guess what? …chicken’s butt!” Gets my nephew every time! My son is 11 months, so he just doesn’t get much! 🙂
Anything said in a robot voice is a crowd pleaser.
i WANT a baby SANDWHICH!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody in the city says ‘OOPS I FARTED, excuse me”.
my son cracks up at that line. boys and farts – jesh.
Hey pickle pants!
My schnozz is covered with chocolate frecklebobs!
my daughter loves the song “can’t take my eyes off of you” cos I’ve been singing it to her since she was a baby. To make her laugh, I change the last word of every line with the word “poop”
You’re just too good to be poop
Can’t take my eyes off of poop
You feel like heaven to poop
I wanna hold you so poop..
And so on,
It’s silly and she absolutely loves it!
My kids think it is hysterical when I say, “Ew someone’s feet stink” Then I sniff their feet and say “Hmmm…not yours. Yum” While pretending to munch their toes. I say plenty of funny things that aren’t supposed to be funny, too. Like “Eat your broccoli!”
My daughter laughs when we make funny noises. She also thinks the Shake it song is funny.
Anything involving “butt” is a winner in this house!!! LOVE THIS!
We’re being attacked by BOOTY ROBOTS!!
The silly sister shouldn’t shimmy and shake out of her shiney silver shoes while she walks over slippery snails that SQUISH and SQUASH under her now stinky slimed feet. (No snails were harmed in the typing of this sentence) 😀 this book looks awesome!
May I mumble dogface to the banana patch?
“Let me see that Booty, Booty” to the tune of Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass”. You should have seen her joy when she realized there was a song with the word “booty” in it – that she could shake her booty to!
“I’m a naughty, cheeky mommy pig!”
(I feel like this needs a little bit of a backstory…my two and a half year old loves Peppa Pig. He walks around calling the cat a “naughty, cheeky tabby” and the dog a “Naughty, cheeky Dingo”. He dies laughing whenever his father or I say the same)
Badooga head. (my son’s favorite non sequitor)
my farts smell like rainbows!
Boop boop, beep beep, toot toot.
pudding!!!!!!!! dont know why but saying pudding will make him crack up.
Giant purple pickle pooper
Today is a weird day. I woke up and the grass was purple and my hair was wizzly bupple teepee cockadoodle foo.
“Zheddup dunkie-dunk, dunk dunk dow, zheddup dunkie-dunk, dah-doo.” (And yes…there’s a tune for it, in case you’re wondering.)
PS – Even if I win, I might just order another copy anyway to give as a gift. This is a brilliantly hilarious concept. Mad props to B.J. Novak, and thanks, Mommy Shorts, for tipping me off to this new book!
The big elephant had a giant poop!
BooBooo butt!! Lol!!
I
Want
I -SERIOUSLY- want copied for every single person I know!!
“Goat, girl, GOO GOO GOGGLES!” (Yeah, it’s Dr. Seuss. I think my kid laughs because the illustration looks like me with my glasses… or something).
There’s a skunk in my diaper!
” What, I farted.”
Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle bottom!
Oogie Woogie, little cookie.
Do you want to build a poopman? Sung of course to the tune Do you want to build a snow man. I have boys poop is funny in this house.
Eat me up some pickles and rainbows.
My students smell like wet feet, and they will laugh at anything!
Poop popsicles. Because my son won’t smile for pictures unless I suddenly yell poop popsicles. And that’s fun in public…
Boing, boing, banana! Burbly baby burps! (Also, anything fart-related will make my boys crack up.)
I have stinky underwear!
My daughter have an awesome inside joke where we meow like cats during silences. 🙂
Booty pants!
bluggie wuggie?
I am a follower and newsletter subscriber. What a cute book!!!! Totally would make my son crack up! He’d love the page about being a monkey robot, with the robot voice.
My neighbour’s dog is a rainbow broccoli pooper!
Bubble Bottom Bilge Bubba
my 4 year old is really into this:
The shark had googoo plump on his face 🙂
Twinkle Twinkle Little Pineapple. How I wonder what you Spaghetti!
Lietzel has a screaptzel on her kneetzel.
AKA: Elise has a scrape on her knee.
My name is Captain Underpants Face!
Twirl Stinkerbell, twirl!
You smell like stinky monkey cheekies!
Poopy faces smell like farts!
And then the princess fairy superhero flew over a rainbow, found a unicorn, and told it a knock knock joke.
My daughter cracks up when I say “four fluffy feathers on a fiffy feffer-fef” it’s from a dr suess book!
Banana pants
You’re going to poop (insert name of whatever she is eating)!
Well done Illana….this book is on the way to my house now!
We’re having farts and boogers for supper tonight! With worms and toe jam for dessert!
“No. We CAN’T listen to the Frozen sound track right now. Maybe in a minute.” (She laughs because she knows she’ll win…sigh…let it go)
Burble. Guffaw. Fred. Spork.
Okay, my kids just turned one, so it’s less about WHAT you say right now, and more about HOW you say it. A current favorite is shouting the name of any board game: “MONOPOLY!”