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Guess who is a featured blogger on Nordstrom’s site right now showcasing their favorite baby clothes and gear?

SUSAN HOFFMAN!

No, I’m kidding. It’s me.

Susan Hoffman is a private joke I had with my best friend when I was ten. We co-wrote a mock newspaper together (cicrulation of two) and used a make-believe person named Susan Hoffman as our source for every story. “We know it’s true because Susan Hoffman saw it with her own eyes!” Basically, it was like the Onion for the elementary school set.

Also, I just wrote a joke only one person will understand and I am totally getting fired from this Nordstrom gig.

Which would suck because there is a lot of cool stuff in the works!

For starters, I’ve got my own shop on Nordstrom for the next five months. They have a photo of me and everything!

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That means when you search for things by color, price and brand, you can also add “Ilana” in the mix. This will insure you don’t mess up your purchase by selecting something I won’t like. I will come find you otherwise and we will HAVE WORDS. Don’t make me do that.

The other blogger featured is…

SUSAN HOFFMAN!

Kidding again. It’s Jessica Shyba from Momma’s Gone City (she of #TheoandBeau fame). I won’t be offended if you like her selections better than mine. I’m pretty sure it’s not a competition. (Uh-oh. Is it a competition??)

Nordstrom has both baby clothing and baby gear (strollers, carseats, etc.) from top brands so it was fun to select my favorites— things I have (I found Mazzy’s Mini Boden flamingo skirt and Harlow’s Mini Boden Jacket on there!), things I want (like the Burberry diaper bag; a girl can dream) and things my sister won’t shut up about (“I can’t believe you don’t have the Zoli cup! It’s the best cup EVER!”).

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You can see my full shop with all my picks here.

Being a featured blogger on Nordstrom also means they sent Mazzy and Harlow some new duds. How lucky are my children??? I wish someone was sending me free clothes.

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I guess I wouldn’t look nearly as cute running around in the park playing with sticks and leaves.

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They even made sure to send Mazzy something pink so I wouldn’t have to bribe her with cookies and candy to put on her outfit. Thank you, Nordstrom for keeping my daughter’s increasingly specific taste in mind.

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Both Harlow’s dress and Mazzy’s dress are from Tucker + Tate, an adorable brand sold at Nordstrom I had never heard of before.

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WORD OF ADVICE: Apple is way more prone to stains than you would think. No matter how much your toddler insists, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT hand her an entire apple to chomp on if you care one iota about her outfit.

Over the next few months I’ll be on the Nordstrom site reviewing items and switching up my shop picks. I’ll be guest pinning for them in June, showcasing Harlow’s and Mazzy’s back-to-school style (Mazzy’s going to kindergarten this September!), telling you guys when things go on sale and doing a killer baby shower giveaway.

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If you see something on their site you love and you think I should include in my shop, please let me know! I’d be happy to make this a collective effort. For instance, we’re still deciding what is going to be included in the baby shower giveaway next month, so if you want input, check out my shop and then let me know what you want a chance to win in the comments below.

Unless it’s blue.

Then keep your selection to yourself.

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This post was sponsored by Nordstrom, but all thoughts, opinions and apple stains are my own.