Here's a music video about breastfeeding from an Australian group called Sparrow Folk. It's called "Ruin Your Day" on YouTube but the full line in the chorus is "Ruin your day with tits".
The song uses a heavy dose of sarcasm to illustrate why being offended by moms breastfeeding in public is pretty ridiculous. I mean, of course, we should put a stranger's discomfort in front of our own baby's basic survival needs!
I'm curious to hear other people's experiences, because my experience was more my own discomfort than getting disgusted looks from other people. I could never quite master the casual breastfeed over lunch with a tasteful cover flowing effortlessly across my body during a feed.
(Maybe the point is I shouldn't have cared about a cover?)
Harlow was always a bit restless while feeding and I felt like we were attracting attention— not necessarily because people were grossed out that I had my boobs out in public, but more pitying looks from people who were like, "Wow, that mom must be new at this. She really sucks at it!"
So, I spent a lot of time breastfeeding in bathrooms. But I think that was really my own problem.
Check out the video and tell me what you think.
What has your experience been?
So I never really got any majorly dirty looks from anyone except my husband who was really just appalled that HIS friends might see something. So… I just nursed when he wasn’t right around me. BUT, I still love the song lol
Cute video and song. Sometimes I think this whole idea of people giving nursing mothers a hard time in public is more of an exception than the rule. Of course that could be because I live on Long Island which is relatively metropolitan. I have nursed in public plenty of times, and I don’t recall getting any looks, good or bad. I lie, when I nursed my then 10 week old son in the LL Bean flagship store in Maine, these two hippie-looking ladies smiled lovingly at me. I think most people don’t notice. I never figured out how to use a cover appropriately, nor did either of my children stand for it. I found that if you want to cover up, it is best to plan your outfit around breastfeeding, so I dressed in layers. If anything, I would tuck a burp cloth under my bra strap to cover the top of my breast, not the baby. This made me more comfortable. When I am in public nursing, I am more worried about showing my belly flab than my breasts!
I disagree that it is the exception. It is awesome that you had such a positive nursing experience, but that doesn’t mean just because it didn’t happen to you, it didn’t happen. Just in my circle of friends it has happened with my sister in law (even my own family members have expressed disgust about BF in public with out a cover) and a few of my friends. It happens everywhere and that is why it gets talked about.
I wish I had been more brave to nurse out in the open, but I wasn’t. I have my own issues with my boobs/flabby stomach being exposed and that was all on me.
My experience for both has been the same for both babies mostly.
For some reason I am uncomfortable about breastfeeding in restaurants. I am not sure why, but I think it is related to the height of the table which kind of highlights the view of what I am doing.
Also I am clumsy so, ending up in booths, I am always worried about banging my baby’s head into the table.
So, not bathrooms, but I am always breastfeeding in the car before or after going out to eat.
(I guess I don’t live in NYC)
For me, I am more self conscious about exposing my stomach than my boobs. So, depending on what I am wearing, I will wear a cover. Putting on a cover (an aden and anais muslin blanket actually) is a spectacle that involves me looking like a ghost, messing up my hair, getting baby attached, before I lover the cover to see again.
But otherwise, I am ok doing it anywhere, the skating rink, parties, parks, school functions, etc.
Actually the most uncomfortable part for me is reattaching the nursing bra. Holding baby with one hand, and fishing around under my shirt with the other. Like I say, I am not coordinated so it takes awhile and I always feel so awkward with my hand down my shirt.
ha, same here, (an exception) but maybe that is because I am in Seattle.
and +1 on the belly flab.
I was able to nurse under a cover, and didn’t mind nursing anywhere.. but found that I stayed away from noisy restaurants as it didn’t appeal to my son, he didn’t calm down enough to eat. so if I could find somewhere out of the way I would, but not because I was embarrassed or got dirty looks. I loved living in Ontario, where they had baby movies at the theatre. they’d turn the lights on a bit, the sound down a bit and it was assumed that you would be nursing during the movie. they even provided free diapers on a changing table in the lobby.
This cracked me up. With my first, I used a cover when in public, and was a little shy. She was also easily distracted, and would whip around at any interesting new sound. My second is different. She hates using a cover, and is very content and focused on the breast. I have to share though that my MIL insists on men leaving the room while I nurse. Now, THAT’s embarrassing. Christmas morning, in my own home. I casually started to nurse my little, and she said to my BILs: “I think you should go in the kitchen for a while now”. It was pretty annoying. I even told her it was no big deal. Ugh! Sorry, rant over. Hilarious video
My little one was too squirmy to be reliable about not kicking off my cover and I wasn’t really all that comfortable with the idea for letting it all hang out. Not because I was worried about what other people thought, I just didn’t want them to see my ladies. I never got a dirty look but didn’t really flash it too much. I did have a woman come up to me while nursing in a bathroom lounge at the mall and look down my cover. She was very pro breastfeeding and excited to see my doing it but I was surprised it never occurred to her that I might be covering up for my own comfort. I was just polite, she meant well.
Same here…..I always feed in car whenever we go out….extra tum flab…big boobs….god it’s so difficult to be fatty mom
Here in Australia where I am still feeding my 2.5 year old, even in public, the only people who have commented to my face are my mother and a single gentleman I worked with who found it confronting, offensive and ‘unhygienic’. However, in the anonymous land of the internet plenty of people have a real problem with it, so To my sadness I can’t share the joys and trials of extended breastfeeding with my social media world. I try not to look around when I am feeding my not so I don’t have to see anyone else being upset!
I was at a women’s convention of my church denomination and, while I was waiting for my mother-in-law to return, my five-month-old daughter got hungry. As I sat down in the nearest chair and prepared to breastfeed (I had a cute little cover and everything), a lady came up to me and said something to the effect, “No baby, you can’t do that here. Come with me.” She took me into the bathroom and plunked me in a chair near the door. I was a little upset but when my mother-in-law finally found me (after I’d finished feeding my baby and came out), she was livid. She said she wished she had been with me so she could have given the woman a piece of her mind. She was especially mad because the lady sent me to the bathroom to feed my baby like it was something shameful. Whenever we went out again during that convention, she made sure she stuck close to me and her granddaughter so that wouldn’t happen again.
I’m in New Zealand and find that I care not whatsoever what other people think. Flabby tummy, big areoles, singlet or not… I don’t really care. When I first had my eldest, my twin sister kept trying to throw a blanket of bub’s head and my boob. It drove me insane! I couldn’t see what I was doing, my son would get distracted because a blanket was suddenly covering his breathing space.
But, when I traveled to America, I was certainly more aware of judge eyes. I guess because here there are a lot of public service adds about encouraging breast feeding targeted at family, strangers, etc so I’m confident that people are at least exposed to the idea that I’m not a boob swinging hippie, just a most trying to feed my baby. No such confidence in the American public… (Speaking as an americanised expat)
UHG. I should read my comments before posting. It should read “I’m just a mom trying to feed my baby” and “(speaking as an American expat)”
This video made me laugh so hard. Not because anyone has given me a hard time personally, just because of the news stories you read.
P.S. Love nursing camisoles for covering my belly!
Great video – so many cute kids and funny to boot. I personally use a nursing cover because my baby is absurdly squirmy even without one and breaks off to look around at the slightest sound. My husband is a stay-at-home dad, so my baby sees him for literally hours every day, but my son still breaks off to look at my husband when he asks me a question.
My son didn’t like a cover and was honestly very picky about where he would eat. I tried the bathroom thing a couple times and after dropping everything and trying balance on a gross toilet, I gave that up. I went with pumping and bringing it in a bottle!
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