The more readers Mommy Shorts gets, the more I start to question posting my more personal baby diary stuff. Does anyone really care about Harlow's latest milestone? Are people gonna be like— wait, a second. I thought I was following a humorous parenting site. Not some mom bragging about her baby picking up a spoon!

Well, sorry, new followers, because at the heart of Mommy Shorts is just some mom bragging about her baby picking up a spoon.

But forget lame milestones like picking up spoons because my six-month-old is FULLY CRAWLING. Did I mention Harlow's crawling? I think I mentioned the belly shimmy but now she's stepped it up a notch. Legs and hands working, chest up off the ground, beelining for Mazzy's toys like she could GIVE A FUCK if Big Sis gets PISSED.

Oh shit! I'm not supposed to be cursing in a milestone post! These are the ones I'm going to let my kids read!


Not only is Harlow crawling, she's pulling herself up to standing, pulling herself up to sitting (which oddly, came after the standing thing) and clapping for herself just to drive the whole Superbaby thing home. As if to say, "What? You didnt see my impressive Superbaby feat? Allow me to puncuate with my own applause."

That's what we've started to call her. Superbaby. It's most fun when you address her casually, as in, "'Sup, Superbaby" with a subtle acknowledging headnod.


All this milestone sailing is AMAZING, but it has also created quite a few issues at home.

Have you ever been at a movie and you want so badly to stay awake but nod off in spite of yourself? That's Harlow at night in her crib. Except instead of trying to stay awake, she's trying to go to sleep and instead of nodding off, she can't stop herself from standing up. Then she gets really upset and starts crying, "But I paid $12 to see The Great Gatsby and I NEVER get to go to the movies!!!" Oh wait, no. That was me.

Once Harlow pulled herself up in the bassinet in our room, we immediately had to get rid of the thing and put her in the crib in Mazzy's room. We had one great night and then the next night, Harlow was crying so much from the continual standing, we set up a Pack 'n Play back in our bedroom so she didn't wake Mazzy.

One night we got without a baby in our room. ONE NIGHT.


The other annoying thing about crossing all your milestones off at once is we skipped over the "sitting unassisted phase" which is THE BEST BABY PHASE. That's the phase where you can sit the baby down with a toy, he/she will be totally engrossed in it for hours because they can't move from that spot even if they tried. 

Harlow will play with a toy for half a second before realizing she'd much rather crawl over to the wall and check out the outlets. (I think the shot above was captured the same day a unicorn cooked us dinner.)

Also, Harlow doesn't just use furniture to pull to standing. She uses people. If she climbs up on me while I'm on the ground playing with her, it's fine, but if I bend over to pick up a toy and she quickly mounts my back like a poodle in a dog park, we've got problems.

Harlow's been climbing up Mazzy too which does not always make for the safest of activities. You never know when Big Sis will laugh it off with a "Silly, Harlow!" or have a brief fit of BABY SISTER RAGE and throw her to the ground.

Last night, I THINK she tried to cruise around the coffee table but once I aimed the camera at her, she froze like a character from Toy Story that only comes alive when the humans leave the room.


All this mobility does not mean Harlow is content to explore on her own. She has also reached a phase where she wants attention and holding at all times. Gone are the days I could stick her in the jumperoo and go to the bathroom. Now, she spends that whole time shrieking like I've abandoned her for good.

Even though Harlow has been more than holding her own, Mazzy still runs the show around here.

But she better watch her back because if Harlow continues advancing at this pace, she won't just be walking in a couple months, she'll be flying by Christmas.