The decisions I make this pregnancy compared to my first suggest that I am now an entirely different person. I wouldn't even take a sip of coffee last go round and here I am snorting allergy medication twice a day.
Also— is blue cheese really a big deal? What about forgetting to take your prenatal vitamins two days in a row? A sip of wine never hurt anyone, did it? What about vodka? And GODDAMNIT, I am much more comfortable sleeping on my RIGHT side, alright?
I should definitely stop at two kids. Judging by the chart below from NickMom, if I got pregnant a third time, I'd probably spend the entire nine months drinking margaritas while scooping kitty litter.
What about you? How differently do you treat your second or third kid from your first?
—————————————————————–
Three more posts you should check out from NickMom:
Top 9 Reasons We Should Be Glad We're Not Moms in the '80s
Top 9 Reasons Why the Tooth Fairy Forgot Last Night
"Will You Survive Vacation?" Flow Chart
You wanna hear something REALLY crazy? I actually treated my first pregnancy like it was my third, and my second pregnancy like it was my second (if that makes any sense). Don’t know how, why or if I should be disturbed about myself, but I just did. And now, with both my 2 little girls (almost 2, and 4 months) I find that I treat(ed) by first baby like it was my second, and my second baby like she’s my first. I’m more sensitive, a bit worried and a tad more ‘fuss-fuss’ about my 4 month old than I ever was with my first big girl. Although, my fuss-fuss mannerisms are quite UNfussy compared to what’s out in the world. Weird? Weird. But so far both girls are fab. They eat. They sleep. They smile a lot. Mission accomplished.
Let’s see. I drank coffee/ tea throughout my 2nd pregnancy. I forgot to take my prenatal vitamins more than 2 days in a row. More than once. I slept on my back the entire time because it was most comfortable. I was lugging the toddler around up until the day before I gave birth. I moved home. I moved furniture.
And baby boy #2 is happy, healthy and ohmygod, so easygoing. Not that I’m recommending not taking care of yourself of course. You just tend to be a little bit more relaxed.
I don’t remember anything about my second pregnancy except I ate a ton of Skittles and told the two-year-old I was tired a lot.
Yep, definitely ‘relaxed’ more the second time round. Somewhat with the pregnancy, but much more noticeably with the actual baby! Things that made me anxious with #1 were things that I barely blinked at with #2. All the newborn stuff seemed so much cruisier second time round.
My theory is that with #1, you have more time to dwell on the details. With #2, you have no choice but to just get on with it, and your brain filters out what’s essentially not worth the time to obsess over.
Heheheh, I think my first was like a 2nd so luckily we are going to stop at two or I would be scared for the third.
We have lots of pictures from my eldests’ birthday parties starting at age one right through age eight. For ages seven and eight we have pictures of my youngest celebrating as a joint birthday – aka my eldest and all her friends plus her younger sister and. cake that says “Happy Birthday” with both their names ( they were born six years apart but birthdays are only two weeks apart). This year my baby turns three, and we were going to just take her on an outing or something, no party planned at all! Then out of the blue she started talking so much about how she was having a birthday, and a birthday party, and randomly inviting (or univiting) us to her birthday party ” You invited my party!” ” You NOT invited my party!” that in a panic I had to contact three families to come over in a couple weeks for pizza and cake! Luckily even though she wants a party to a three year old some balloons, a cake and her two best friends is a party! Whew! Also fortunately she and her sister look alike … if I flip through the photo album fast enough, I may convince her later that the elaborate parties really were for her! 😉 lol.
On a somewhat related note my eldest turns 9 this week. I was tired of paying a fortine on parties plus dealing with stress of planning etc. So instead I gave her a choice – a party OR I pay her $150 to NOT have one. I am pretty frugal but have not found a way yet to plan a party for under $200 ( including food, drinks, entertainment, loot bags … even if at home!). . She took the money 🙂 Just an option as they age …
That is too funny! I was definitely more lax with my second pregnancy than my first, but the funny thing is, I’m way more uptight with this third pregnancy than I was with my first. Everything seems scarier. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older and I know more, or what.
he he! This is sort of true. With Eddie, I was sure he was just so…delicate. He had to be handled with extreme gentleness.
Charlie? Is a little brother. He gets rolled in a blanket burrito. And when I try to intervene? I see the baby is laughing.
Well then. perhaps babies are a little more…durable…than I originally thought.
With my second I was more worried – first time around I was young (25), I was the first of my friends to have a baby, and I was in a foreign country that is so hands off when it comes to medicine that the first time I saw an actual doctor was in the delivery room, and that was only because of a complication. Second time I was 8 years older, a lot of my friends had horror stories to share and I was now in the US, where I was instructed to call the doctor if I even sneezed.
Plus, with number 1 I knew my insurance was going to cover everything, and I got 16 weeks of paid maternity leave. With number 2 I depleted my entire savings by the time he was 4 months old, and I burned through my ‘short-term disability’ payouts before I even gave birth because I was on bedrest from 32 weeks. No wonder I was more stressed.
That chart needs one like “boiled pacifier when dropped on floor for nanosecond” vs. “Here kid, stick this back in your mouth!!” ;P
Funny stuff, and yeah… pretty true too!
I had twins the first time around so I pretty much treated it like a second pregnancy… worked out until month 6, drank some caffeine, had an occasional glass of wine and pretty much ate what I wanted to. Same with after they were born. I didn’t have the time or energy to be picky. Dropped your paci… pick off the lint and stick it back in!
First kid- “OMG! Stand back from that! You migh trip and fall and get hurt and then… OMG!! Thank goodness we averted that DISASTER!!!”
Third kid- “You’re going to fall……. See?”
You have NO IDEA how much I was in need of a laugh this morning! NO IDEA!!!
Thank you!!!
xo
I totally agree with your theory!! My son is now 6mths and I am much less spazzy and worrying as I was with my now 4yr old daughter. Theres no time!! LOL!
That just made me laugh out loud.
I wrote a whole blog post about this soon after having my third! It is totally true…so true it is almost sad! Here are my findings: http://myprideaside.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/first-born-vs-third-born-a-comparison/
So happy to hear about your new baby girl. Just started following you and LOVE your blog!
My second kid subsists entirely on bread and grapes where his big sister was fed organic square meals on a schedule precisely calibrated to her age and weight. He was sleep-trained by 6 months and left in his crib to deal with his own issues while his sister co-slept until age 2. he very rarely wears sunscreen. i couldn’t care less about potty training him. his sister was drinking from a regular cup by 2, and i have no plans to EVER take his sippy cup away. he LIKES it and it doesn’t SPILL. Kid 1 was limited to 1 hour of TV a day, and Kid 2 gets as much Chuggington as his little heart desires.
Whatever.
love it.
During my first (and only) pregnancy, I ate soft cheeses and lunch meat, drank tea, and indulged in a half a glass of red wine late in my 2nd trimester before the guilt set in and I poured the rest out. I did not empty the cat’s litterbox – but mainly because I didn’t want to and pregnancy was a good excuse to make Hubs do it. 😉
This is so us. I pureed organic fruits and veggies, boiled pacifiers and never had the tv on for my older kids. My youngest, our 5th, was eating cheez-its as soon as his teeth popped through and I think we have a 5 minute rule for when his pacifier falls on the floor.
I almost killed my husband when he gave our first born McD at 18 months, four kids later I was giving french fries to the baby at 9 months and she wanders around a house filled with marbles, legos, and Barbie shoes…
For me, my second pregnancy was more stressful, because I had to chase after a very active 2.5 year old while suffering from insomnia. I worked out until about six days before I delivered my second child when the false labor kicked in. I didn’t belong to a gym when pregnant with first because I could exercise without the need of childcare, and just walked a lot.
I treated both similarly while under a year–I was pretty careful during the first month and half regarding pacifiers on the floor and germs during the “if they run a fever, they go to the hospital” phase.
After they both passed the 2 month mark, I was more of the “expose them to everything and give them an awesome immune system”. My son is almost 5 1/2 and my daughter is almost 3 now, and he might get sick once a year, and she about 2-3 times (usually on vacation when airplane travel is involved). The last few rounds of illness, both my son and I were fine, but Lil Diva and my husband both got sick, even though my son and I are around her all day.
As far as junk food, I find it impossible to be as stringent with the second child as the first. My son had hit the “gets treats occasionally and while being potty trained” phase, and you can not argue logic to a one year old that she can’t have some too.
My son was also never a super picky eater, whereas she transformed into one around 18 months and we were desperate to get some food into her, making hot dogs and pizza on the menus more often.
I still try to make sure there are at least some fortified vitamins in the junk food. 🙂
Both kids are totally different in personality, and while my son is a behavioral challenge right now, my daughter is a social butterfly and can charm anyone she meets. I figure she’s save up for the tween years.
I don’t think I have enough energy for a third with no family close enough to come over and let me sleep…
What does it say about me that I pick the pacifier right off the floor and give it to my kid… and he’s my FIRST kid??
1st and 2nd were not that different. but the 3rd was definitely more relaxed. TV was a babysitter sometimes for older 2 while nursing – it just couldn’t be helped. definitely less pictures with each child — and time for beautiful scrapbooks? forgetaboutit.
but the main things – the important things, like our beliefs, traditions, rules, Love…etc. those things remain steady, and I think that is what really matters anyway.
I treat my only baby like she’s a third. I don’t want her to have a shock when and if God gives us another. And I drink coffee a lot. The really big ones!
When I was 8 months (yes 8!) with my second baby, my OB approved a week-long trip to Italy (which my husband had won and it was a “take it or leave it” opportunity).
This lovely doctor said these exact words:
You’re going to Italy. Not Antarctica. They have hospitals there, so I’m told. If you go into labor, just name the kid Isabella and you’ll have a great story to tell for the rest of her life. The only downside is she can’t be president.
Oh and also, she TOLD me to drink a (small) glass of wine with lunch and with dinner to keep contractions at bay.
I never would have considered doing any of this with my first child. And my second was born on US soil and perfectly healthy.
So the moral is this:
Being President is overrated.
Amen.
That is exactly right. You don’t worry about the Third Kid climbing something until they break out a cape!
My first — my son — was done by the book. I did what I was told, basically. My second — my daughter and four years later — I questioned EVERYTHING. I’ve have done things very different with her — BF longer, didn’t rush the solids or any of the milestones nor did I worry about the milestones as much, delayed her vaccinations, listened to myself much more.
As for how we treat them — the second one is definitely more spoiled and the typical “baby” of the family. =-) Also, she is much more laid back (as am I now) — like — older one wanted to put keys in his mouth: “NO! They have GERMS!” Younger one grabs keys — “Go for it. Taste yummy? AHHHH silence!”
My daughter is 2.5 and I still have my husband change the litter box , hey – why change a routine 🙂
So, apparently my first was like my 3rd. So was the second and third!
My HUSBAND was nervous Nellie, always telling me to do/not do this or that. My mom tried everything she could to sterilize and de-germ everything in my house, but we have a lab. Who live IN the house. I let her lick/nuzzle/sniff #1 from the day we brought him home, and she loves him like her own. My mom tried to keep burrito-baby away from the dog, and of course, she thought it was a fun game of get-the-burrito-from-Nana.
My 3rd son actually finds stuff on the floor that the dog and vacuum both missed somehow, and he eats it. I have no idea what it is or how long it’s been there. If he isn’t gagging or choking, I’m ok with that.
#2 was a climber/tool-user. DH was freakishly worried about him falling from a height greater than 6 inches. So #3 is the one who decided to leap from the 2nd floor bannister and bash his head. Did I freak? Nope. I had to send DH out of the room because 3 did not even cry until daddy freaked the freak out.
I let the big boys (5 & 7) swim as long as an adult is outside with them. I’ve been known to send the neighbor over for 5 minutes while they are sleeping because I ran out of wine. I know, I’m horrible.
I even let the boys pee in the yard, just to keep the peace in (and the flies out) of the house. I think the only thing I ever actually did that I was told to do was stop scooping kitty litter. I hated that job anyway!
Pity my poor baby sister, the youngest of FOUR! She considered herself the invisible child.
I’m all about starbursts.
Sounds good to me! If I put half as much thought into the baby this go round, I’ll have absolutely no time for Mazzy.
Mazzy is definitely not going to be gentle with the baby. She already told me she wants a brother so she can play ball with him. So I just imagine her chucking objects from across the room at the baby constantly.
Ooooohhhhh, definitely. Say baby #4 pops a penny in his mouth, I yell at child #1 or #2 to get it out. When child #1 was a baby…..we didn’t have pennies in the house. Ha!
best. comment. ever. You just summed up my 2nd pregnancy too. Just substitute Coca Cola…that was my craving.
I only have 1 kid, but I’d totally have 2nd and 3rd kid mentality. Example: our 2nd dog knows no tricks, is rude, and still not potty trained at 1 yr. Our 1st dog knows half a dozen tricks, is polite, and potty trained at 9 mos.
I’m so behind on this I didn’t even realize you’d shared me, so thanks!
My baby books for my kids said it all. My first has a totally filled out book with pictures and even a keepsake box where I saved cards people gave us at the baby shower. My second has a partially filled out baby book. My third child… well…. I kept meaning to buy that baby book!