On Wednesday, I took my mother and Mazzy to Arizona for a Westin travel review I'm doing for Babble. I thought it was a great opportunity, a fun thing to do with Mazzy and something to do while Mike was away in Hong Kong. The trip was from Wednesday to Friday, tonight being my last night. 

The resort is lovely but I'll save all those fun details for my review on Babble.

This post is more about the torture I have inflicted on my child by uprooting her from her regular schedule, plopping her down in Pacific Standard Time and assuming she'd just be able to deal.

More accurately, this post is about Mazzy's very specific form of payback.

Mazzy did pretty well on the plane ride here although the layover didn't make things easy.

When she screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO BE ON THIS PLANE ANYMORE!" I replied in the most excited tone possible, "Don't worry, sweetie! We are going to get off this plane and get on to a different one!"

My mother and I had a good laugh over that one.

When we finally got to the resort (after nine hours of sleepless traveling), Mazzy was somehow wide awake and ready to explore. (Blah blah blah details and fun moments saved for Babble review.)

Then at 7pm, Mazzy was ready for bed.

Perfect, right? Only an hour off her regular bedtime! We were adjusted without even trying— all was good!

Ah, so naive I was just yesterday. 

I stayed up to write my blog post, watch some TV and ended up going to bed around midnight.

Roughly TWO HOURS before Mazzy woke up ready to start her day.

It was 2AM.

Oh, but it wasn't Mazzy who woke up at 2AM. That would be too easy.

It was some other form of Mazzy sent here by Satan to plague our hotel room. I believe Satan calls the evil spirit that possessed my daughter— "Jetlagged Demon Toddler". 

JETLAGGED DEMON TODDLER: An evil being that screams and cries at a pitch ten times louder, twenty times higher and fifty times longer than any normal run-of-mill toddler. All attempts at using regular tantrum-ending strategies (i.e. holding, use of iPad, offering of candy) have been proven totally ineffective.

I was ready to give Mazzy anything she wanted to make her stop crying and let me go back to sleep. But the problem was, she didn't want anything. She just felt miserable.

Mazzy never went back to sleep. She spent the entire night screaming and crying and acting like she had been delivered a fate worse than death. (Thank god for my mother because we ended up taking turns dealing with her while the other tried to get some sleep.)

By breakfast Jetlagged Demon Toddler (JDT) appeared to have left the premises and my daughter was back. We went on to have a very nice day (blah blah blah details saved for Babble post).

But after my daughter woke up from her afternoon nap, JDT returned with a vengeance. Mad at the world, she made demands to ensure I was equally as miserable— "DON'T SIT DOWN!", "TAKE THAT ROBE OFF!", "GET THE RED CUP!" ( the cup safely back in NYC).

After I finally got her to accept my offering of the iPad, JDT clicked videos that wouldn't load fast enough, played games that compounded her frustration and lashed out at me whenever I tried to help.

Each time something didn't go her way, she'd raise her arms above her head and screech, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" like someone had just killed Calliou.

It was awful. (Except if someone really had killed Calliou— that would have been awesome.)

I just put her down to bed and I am hoping upon hoping that she does not have a repeat performance of last night. I am TERRIFIED of our trip home tomorrow. And I pray she transitions easily back to her old schedule. (And doesn't expect me to whip out TV and cookies every time she gets upset.)

But most of all, I am trying to write this post as quickly as possible so that I can go to bed early and get in a few hours of sleep, in case JDT makes another 2AM appearance.

Anybody know how to make a deal with the devil?


6a0133f30ae399970b0168ebed6ade970c-200wiBefore I got to bed I've got a few giveaway winners to announce…

The winner of the $500 Bag of Baby Schwag from Red Tricycle NYC is Lauren Lamoureux.

Lauren picked Michelle Obama as her celebrity set-up. In fact, most people picked other women which I found very respectful of their significant others. I totally would have gone for Ryan Gosling myself.

Congratulations, Lauren! Please email me at ilana@mommyshorts.com to claim your prize.


6a0133f30ae399970b016766bc0c49970b-200wiThe ten winners of free babysitting from UrbanSitter are (in order of who I like best)…

Jenny, MJ, Natasha, Debbie A, Kristina G, Ari Wagner, Seri Kertzner, Rokkie, Lauren P and Kevin Blah.

Please email me at ilana@mommyshorts.com to claim your sitter money.

And remember, even if you didn't win, you can still use the code MSHORTS10 for a one time $10 credit at UrbanSitter.com.


6a0133f30ae399970b01630600d49b970d-500wiLastly, "Harry Grows Up", the short film that Mazzy co-starred in with her friend Lucas won "Best of New York" at the NY International Short Film Festival!

Congratulations to the director— my friend, Mark Nickelsburg. Please keep Mazzy in mind when you make your first feature-length, 'mmmkay?


Alright. I am off to bed. Wish me luck on our flight tomorrow.

Excuse me— FLIGHTS. We leave the hotel at 10:30am and get home just after 11pm.

This is going to be an ADVENTURE!

Or so I keep telling JDT.

Have a good weekend,

—Mommy Shorts