This is the first year we are really DOING Hanukkah because the kids weren’t old enough to appreciate it until now. We’ve given a few gifts in previous years, but now I feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure Mazzy thinks Hanukkah is just as much fun as Christmas.
That’s a pretty tough job since we don’t have Santa or reindeer or elves making toys in a factory or any of that good stuff.
We’ve got oppression and oil. It’s not exactly a recipe for joy.
Hanukkah gifts typically aren’t huge expensive toys. They are more practical and thoughtful. I spent one night a few weeks ago buying gifts online and went on a few shopping trips for smaller items. I stopped in a stationary store and bought some holiday themed paper. I bought candles and gelt at our local drugstore. At the grocery store, I purchased potatoes and everything we would need to make latkes. I bought a children’s book about Hanukkah at the bookstore. I took out our Mensch on the Bench from last year.
I put everything on my Amex EveryDayCredit Card because it rewards you for the number of purchases you make, no matter how big or small. If you make 20 separate purchases—whether that’s on Amazon to buy the $229 Frozen castle or to the drug store to buy a $2 roll of Scotch tape— within a billing cycle, you could get a 20% bonus on Membership Rewards® points. That’s my gift for just doing the things I would do anyway.
Then I stacked everything in my closet and there it sat for two weeks.
Finally, one night after the kids were in bed, I took out all sixteen gifts, eight for each kid, to start the big task of wrapping. That’s when I realized we didn’t have any tape.
I stacked the stuff back in the closet.
The next day, I put “buy tape” on the top of my to-do list. I got home, put my new tape in the drawer and planned on wrapping gifts later that week.
The day after that was Mazzy’s birthday party. My mom came over beforehand to give Mazzy a gift. Attached to the gift was a card with a Tinkerbell blow-up wand. (Have you noticed they don’t just make regular paper cards anymore?)
We blew the wand up and it popped, causing pre-birthday party tears. The worst kind.
“I can fix it with tape!” my mom yelled, trying to save the day. “Do you have tape?”
I handed her my new tape and watched as she used piece after piece to save a cheap Tinkerbell blow-up toy.
“Please remember to put the tape back when you are done.”
“Okay.”
“I bought that tape specifically to wrap the holiday gifts.”
“Okay.”
My mother was unable to fix Tinkerbell and it was time to leave. I tried to make Mazzy feel better by telling her she would be getting A THOUSAND MORE PRESENTS at her party and then A THOUSAND MORE PRESENTS for Hanukkah. She calmed down, we had a fabulous time and everyone forgot about Tinkerbell blow-up wand.
Flash forward to Monday night, after the kids were in bed.
“Do you know that Hanukkah starts tomorrow?” Mike asked knowing I did not.
That’s what happens with Hanukkah. Most Jews don’t even know when it begins. We don’t have Advent calendars or a date that stays consistent year after year. We have a moving target.
“Oh crap. I still have to wrap the gifts.”
“You got gifts?”
“Yes, I got gifts. Eights gifts each. And I got dreidels, Hanukkah candles, gelt, wrapping paper, gift tags and stuff to make latkes. WE ARE DOING HANUKKAH THIS YEAR.”
“Okay. Do you have tape?”
“OF COURSE I HAVE TAPE!!!!!”
I opened the drawer to show Mike my tape. There was none. I searched the house. Nothing. I texted Ruth.
“Hi Ruth. Sorry to bother you so late at night, but have you seen the Scotch tape?”
“It’s in the drawer.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I don’t know then. Sorry.”
Ruth always knew. Crap. At 10pm on a Monday night, the night before Hanukkah, I put a coat on over my pajamas, walked five blocks in the cold to the 24 hour drugstore, just to buy another roll of tape.
After all, you can’t have a successful Hanukkah without tape. FACT.
I wrapped all the gifts that night, stacked them on the dining room table and put our Mensch on the Bench on top. I put out the menorah, the candles and the gelt. I positioned Mazzy’s birthday balloons over the whole affair.
Then I realized I could hang the Mensch in the Bench from the two huge balloons we had brought home from Mazzy’s birthday party. It was 2am on Hanukah Eve and I was ready to wow my kids with Judaism!
Even if technically, Hanukah is not that important of a holiday.
The next morning, I woke up and suddenly knew my mother was responsible for the lost tape, even though I couldn’t put my finger on why.
I texted her.
“What happened to my tape??”
“Sorry, I brought it to the party to fix the blow-up wand and then I forgot to give it back.”
The stupid Tinkerbell blow-up wand! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!
My Tinkerbell furor was interrupted when a joyous Mazzy came bounding into our bedroom.
“MOM!!!!! THE MENSCH ON THE BENCH IS FLYING!!!!! ALL THE HANUKAH GIFTS ARE ON THE TABLE!!!!!! CAN WE OPEN THEM NOW??????”
“Ummmm… no. Hanukah doesn’t start until tonight.”
“Can we open them all tonight????”
“Ummmm…. no. You can only open one.”
“WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!”
“Hey, Mazzy. Wanna read a book about Hanukkah? It’s about oppression and oil.”
Don’t worry, Mazzy and Harlow managed to survive until sundown and we all had a very happy first night of Hanukkah.
It’s no Christmas morning, but at least we’ve got seven more nights.
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Thank you to American Express for sponsoring this post and for rewarding my numerous trips to the store to buy tape. If you’d like to find out more about the AmexEveryDayCredit Card, click here.
I’m not Jewish, but I’ve always liked the concept of eight gifts. Kids know what to expect but still get the surprise factor of not knowing what the gift is, just how many they’re going to get. I went a little nuts this year (because I was able) on gifts and then reminded myself if I can’t do it again next year and the year after, I’m screwed. So maybe Hannukah and Christmas should just join together and create a new creative holiday. I’m sure Hallmark would love that.
Chrismukkah!!!
those pigtails kill me. I can’t wait for my daughter’s hair to get long enough for that.
And I swear we never have tape either. Or it’s never in the right spot so we buy more and then find a bag of 3 tapes in some random bag.
Happy Hanukkah!
My kids steal my tape all the freaking time. And when I neeeeeed tape? It’s all gone. This is why they are getting their own freaking rolls of tape in their Christmas stockings this year!
“That’s what happens with Hanukkah. Most Jews don’t even know when it begins. We don’t have Advent calendars or a date that stays consistent year after year. We have a moving target.”
Brilliant.
The exact same thing happened to me this year too. I heard about it somewhere, I called my husband and said-did you know tomorrow is the first night of Hanukkah? He did not. We wrapped our asses off that night.
We were coming home from Orlando on Monday (after watching my brother-in-law graduate from law school) and I realized Hanukkah was starting Tuesday evening (okay… my mother-in-law reminded me because I don’t know dates either). So when the kids went to bed, I built a nice little fire in the fire place and set about wrapping all the presents. We have three kids to your two so add eight more tiny presents and you’ll feel my pain. Well… I got the paper out, dragged the gifts out, went to wrap and damnit there was no tape. I searched high and low and no dadgum tape. Since my husband was in Clearwater at a conference and we live in the stupid boonies I couldn’t get anyone to come watch the kids while I ran to walmart. So I dashed home after work on Tuesday and wrapped three presents with the tape I bought (swiped from my office) and then rushed to get the kids from school before the school closed and called child protective services on me. We had lucky charms for dinner that night (and I never buy that kind fo cereal). All said and done, the kids had a very nice first night of Hanukkah! And I found the box that had the tape in it on Wednesday. The box was CLEARLY marked “TAPE.”
You’re on buzzfeed! #25
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/25-parents-who-made-us-laugh-in-2014
pssst – Ilana, you’re a mom now. you don’t buy one roll of tape, you buy, like, 4.
This year my daughter is really embracing Hanukah because I let her light the menorah. I pretty much have a heart attack watching every her and that flame every night while I put the wooden candles in her toy menorah… And yes, tape disappears in my house. I buy it in bulk and have to hide it in my closet.
Funny story about Tape that happened today. My husband and I are making gifts for everyone. Cute little wooden frame with red initial attached . well he went to spray paint the frames and after putting on the first coat realized we had brought white primer not paint. So he asks his mom (we live with her) if she would run to the hobby store and grab him some white paint while he does the painting of the letters. i was wrangling the baby. She says sure and leaves well about 20 minutes later i come to the brillant realization that we have to wrap all the gifts and only have less than an 1/8 of a roll of tape comes to me so I call her and ask her to grab some tape while at the craft store she says okay gets everything and comes home. After the baby is in bed, I gather my supplies to start wrapping presents and get ready to ask for the tape when she realizes that is what she forgot to get at the store. She ran out and grabbed me some tape from the drugstore around the corner. Next year I am buying tape throughout the year and hiding it under my bed until the holidays.
I’ve started buying two sets of a 4 pack of tape and somehow that’s not enough. On top of the presents for my 2 daughters for Hanukkah I had to wrap presents for assorted nieces & nephews too. Thank GD for all that tape I had. Yes I’m almost out and will need to get more. Hope I remember on next shopping trip.
I loved this article. Definitely had the same issue as a kid growing up. Very creative twist. I can’t wait to tell friends and family to read this, I am sure many will laugh at the similar struggles.
With that said, is there a way that one can contact you directly?
You are awesome as was your Hanukkah celebration but I have to disagree with some of your more philosophical points here: Hanukkah CAN be every bit as awesome as Christmas, as long as you don’t expect it to be the same thing, and as long as you yourself believe it can be awesome. Hanukkah isn’t just “oppression and oil” it is also about the freedom to be yourself, and about miracles (which is almost like magic!), and doughnuts, and chocolate coins and a host of other kid-friendly comestibles. And there are so many great and fun traditions you can have. I don’t want to be too long-winded in a comment, but if you want more specific ideas for future Hanukkah celebrations I’d be happy to share. My point is just that Hanukkah will be as amazing as you make it for your kids. Signed, Jew who was never jealous of Christmas (though I think it’s a lovely holiday and that everyone celebrating has a merry one!)
Oppression and oil is only slightly less festive than crucifixion and resurrection though. That’s why there’s a bunny.
I love children and how they became happy with small gifts. their smile and voice are so pleasant.