I'm Jewish so I must admit to not fully understanding Easter. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Jesus rising from the dead… but what that has to do with bunnies hiding eggs, I have no idea.
Christian people are really much better at making holidays child-friendly than the Jews.
We force our children to sit at pre-dinner sedars that are hours long, effectively starving them to death and then when they finally do get something to eat— it's charoset on matzoh. That's curshed apples, walnuts and wine on a hard salt-free cracker.
Some may argue that charoset is delicious but it's no Cadbury Creme Egg, that's for sure.
TRUE STORY: My mother took me to a fancy restaurant when I was about seven. At the end of the meal, the waiter read off the desserts, one of them being Chocolate Mousse. My mother told me I could get anything I wanted, so I said, "I"ll take the chocolate, but I'd like a bunny instead of a moose." Poor Jewish kid. I'd probably been waiting my whole life for a bite of one of those damn bunnies.
Today, in the spirit of a holiday I know nothing about, I'm having a caption contest.
Is it me or does the Easter Bunny get more and more sinister-looking with each passing year? Or is it just impossible to construct a bunny costume that doesn't look like it's housing a child molester?
And what is Anne Marie screaming about? Did the bunny steal her eggs or did she just see the ghost of Jesus in the bushes?
You tell me in the comment section below.
Winner not only gets crowned CAPTION CONTEST QUEEN but also wins a STELLAR PRIZE from Petite Box.
Petite Box is a monthly delivery service of beautifully packaged, high quality products designed for expectant and new moms.
They sent me a sample box for a 4-6mo (pictured left) and it included goods from Momma, Earth Friendly Baby and a ridiculously adorable bib from Petite Frites.
The winner of the caption contest will get to choose any gift box from pregnancy through one year, and you are free to keep it for yourself or give it as a baby shower gift.
Winner will be chosen by me with the help of the reigning Caption Contest Queen— Nixon's Mom.
I'll announce the QUEEN on Easter Sunday.
Right after I give Mazzy her very own chocolate bunny.
Just don't tell my mother.