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Filter by age
Parental Tweet: On Naptime
Baby pulled one of those "Oh Wait! The Killer Is Still Alive!" moments during naptime.
Parental Tweet: On Fashion
I find it disheartening when cartoon characters are better at layering shirts than I am. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, UPDATED HOLLY HOBBIE.
Parental Tweet: On Team Sports
2 hours until my kids' soccer tournament. Or, as it's also known: "Please lose so we can GO HOME.
Parental Tweet: On Naps
follow @saidkristin on ...
Parental Tweet: On Mornings
Baby keeps waking up earlier and earlier. Which means I either need to give her stronger sedatives or take them myself.
You know you're a mom when getting ready means putting your hair up with a Silly Band and removing leftover lunch from your cleavage.
I LOVE PARENTHOOD! The television show. Real-life parenting is just okay.
My eyes say "adorable baby" but
the gash on my nose screams
"spawn of Edward Scissorhands and
a grizzly bear".
Hell is putting on pants you haven't worn in a long time and being all happy because WOW THEY FIT GREAT and then realizing: MATERNITY ...
Six years ago I thought my dog
handing me a squirrel was the
grossest thing ever. That was before
I gave birth.
Need to pack up my family for a ski trip by tomorrow morning.
If all that’s missing in your life is an enormous, unrelenting magnifying glass, focused directly on your insecurities…try ...
Parental Tweet: On Carsickness
Car sickness totally derailed road
trip. Valuable Lesson: Don't put
your purse at child's feet.
Parental Tweet: On Ski Trips
Quality Time Family Ski Trip Day 2: Husband threw out back. Son threw up dinner. Daughter too tired to put on boots. I'll be in the jacuzzi.
Parental Tweet: On Knowing Your Kids
A woman knows her kids.The appts & romances,bff's,fav foods,secret fears, hopes & dreams.
Shop Mommy Shorts Merch!
The Mommy Show Ep. 5
The One Where Jim Gaffigan Glues a Popsicle Stick to My Dining Room Table
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