At the end of last week, I went to San Francisco for three days. Leading up to the trip, Mike was really nervous about being at home alone with the kids.
Yes, waking up super early and getting home from work by 6pm so our nanny can leave on time and putting the kids to bed before they go berserk are all things Mike would have to deal with all by himself. But that wasn’t what he was really worried about. He was scared about his ability to do Mazzy’s hair.
Everyone always says Mazzy has amazing hair, which she does, but having so much hair comes with drawbacks too. Mazzy’s hair is long, heavy, knotty and an absolute beast to style. Barrettes won’t close and ponytails fall out if not done correctly. She’s also cursed with a small forehead (like me) so that if her hair isn’t pinned back, it falls directly into her eyes. She needs to have her hair styled in some kind of up-do or braid to be a productive child in society. Or at least one that won’t bump into walls because a wall of hair is hanging in her face.
Obviously, Mike was not up to the task of doing the elaborate braids Mazzy requests on a daily basis (Thanks, Anna and Elsa), so I had to come up with some easier solutions.
I even showed him this genius ponytail vacuum trick I found on YouTube.
“Yeah, that’s cool. But isn’t it also kind of disgusting?”
I agreed. It’s pretty disgusting.
I had Mike watch me do a live tutorial of the easiest hair-do I could think of— hair parted in the middle, a small plastic barrette holding the hair back on either side.
Then I showed him how to use a headband in combination with a low ponytail or pigtails.
“Can you walk me through the brushing part again?”
Wow. This was going to be harder than I thought. He didn’t even understand that you have to hold sections of the hair tightly on the top in order to get the knots out on the bottom. No wonder there is so much screaming every time Mike touches Mazzy’s hair.
After a pep talk and a few more lessons, Mike assured me he could do it.
I went on the trip. No calls for help from Mike or CPS calls from the school wondering why my daughter looked like she wandered in off the street. All seemed fine.
Later that afternoon, I texted Mike. “How did the hair thing go?”
“Went great.”
“Did you use the two barrettes with hair parted in the middle?”
“Nope.”
“The headband with a low pony?”
“Nope.”
“What did you do?”
And that’s when my husband sent me the picture of my daughter in a pink sequined fedora.
“You’re serious? That’s how Mazzy went to school????”
“Yep.”
“Where did that faux fur vest come from?”
“She found it in her closet.”
Mazzy goes to school with kids as old as 8th grade and I prayed none of them would make fun of a kindergartener for showing off her personal style.
The following week, I was back and dropped Mazzy off at school.
“Mazzy made quite the splash in her outfit last week,” the teacher informed me.
“Did she really wear that pink hat all day?”
“Oh yeah. She owned that hat. She wore it the entire day with her fur vest. She even decided the stars on her dress didn’t match her vest and took it off.”
“The vest?”
“No, the dress.”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????”
“She wore her leggings, the fur vest and her hat.”
“WOW.”
What I wanted to say was: “That outfit sounds like it belongs on a male stripper.”
“Don’t worry, she had a t-shirt on underneath. She looked fantastic,” the teacher assured me.
I guess I can’t look at Mazzy’s kindergarten journey through the lens of my own painfully self-conscious experience in school. Mazzy is clearly her own animal. An animal unleashed when mom goes away and nobody is around to control outfit choices.
At least she didn’t bang into any walls because her hair was hanging in her face. That’s what’s most important right?
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That.Is.Awesome.
I get a little worried when I leave town because we have hair issues here too. But Daddy does okay – he has mastered a braided ponytail now and is well on his way to making it look good too.
I should let my daughter rock her own style now too, while she isn’t self conscious about it. Proud of you for taking it all in stride.
Holy cow, I’m dying!
She let you think she rocked a stripper outfit for just a sec! 😉 TOO funny!
This is too funny!!!!
Since you were talking about how awful her hair is I would try a leave in spray conditioner called Its a 10. This stuff is a lifesaver. It really helps with the thick, heavy, knotted hair.
Hahaha! I have the same issues in my home. We have 2 girls that have hair in their face if not put up. My husband can fix electrical issues, simple car problems, plumbing problems- yet ask him to do a simple ponytail? “That’s just too complicated.”
The first time I stayed away after we had a girl I had to go to great lengths to explain to my husband that tights were not just leggings with handy feet on them and that you had to put a dress or skirt or shorts over them. Because he did take our daughter out in a waist length shirt and tights. Half dressed much?
At her own vociferous insistence at four she now has a graduated bob so while I miss the braiding and “coronation bun” hair (but only a little) it does mean I can leave her and not return to hedge hair that takes an evening of untangling thanks to Scaredy Daddy and his gentle “brushing”. Bless him.
I want to join Mike and learn how to do hair from you! I’m so bad at doing my girls hair. They are squirmy and I’m not very good at hair so even a ponytail looks messy. Poor kids!
I love how Mazzy owned her look. She has so much self-confidence! Probably more than most adults.
Try using cuticle sealer on her hair once a week… My stylist recommended it to me. It’s great for keeping color in colored hair, and I use it on my 3 year old once a week too to keep the knots away!
My husband has to do my daughter’s hair every morning. His first experience with hair was when I broke my wrist in a nasty fall on black ice. We went to a salon so I could get my hair washed properly and then had the lady show him how to do a simple ponytail. He was pretty much rubbish at it but at least he was game to try.
It paid off when we had our daughter. He didn’t do a great job, at first and relied on the preschool teachers to fix it. After being shamed & getting new teachers who had better things to do, he has stepped up his game and will even do a solid braid.
lol! I worked after school care many years ago in high school. We could always tell when mom was away based on hair and outfits!!
At least Mike admits his weaknesses. My husband is so confident alone with our children it makes me wonder why I never go anywhere? However, he would have my kids looking the same way… I have to hide clothes that are out of season or getting too small or else he will put cords on her in June.
Kudos to Mike! My 3-year daughter has long thick hair. I usually try to put cream rinse in her and run a thick comb through it to release the knots. Nightly brushing while she does her teeth helps a lot, too. Ponytails and braids I have down, but I have long hair, too.
I just had the conversation last night with my husband about holding the hair at the top of our daughter’s head to brush out the knots at the bottom. He watched me and tried miserably. He seriously couldn’t coordinate both hands to work at the same time doing different tasks. And our girl was screaming which didn’t help. But he doesn’t get out so easy- we’ll try again tonight. 🙂
My husband styled Emily’s hair when I went away away and the pics he sent were terrible! 1. He styled her hair in a (really bed headed) messy bun with a HUGE bow! 2. He made a pig tail on the side of her head so just a really big ugly pig tail on the side of her head sith a ugly red plad bow. It didn’t match because she was wearing green and that was on picture day!!!! I’m getting retakes lol.
The Johnson and Johnson baby dry angler and leave in conditioner are great for tangles! I can’t get over Harlow’s mini-Mazzy look. My youngest always wants to wear whatever her sister is wearing too.
Whoops! Typed too fast… I meant to say baby detangler spray
I think this is exactly one of those times when I would think that my husband does things “poorly” and he tells me it’s just “differently”. Then it would turn out that my kid loves dad’s way…and I grudgingly admit that his way has advantages, too.
It was “Crazy Hair” day at my kid’s school this week. I had to leave for work late so I could do my girls’ hair 🙂 My husband had this ‘deer in the headlights’ look when I said he might have to do it since daughter #2 wasn’t awake yet and I had to go.
Men 🙂
Love it! My husband has the same issues! Just yesterday, I went to bed early after having gallbladder surgery and was awoken by my daughter because she wanted a ponytail for bed and my husband couldn’t do. Really!?! I just had an organ removed, and you would think that I could be left alone for a couple hours to sleep.
I am a dad, I used to have really long hair myself. I am actually better at dressing my daughter than my wife.
But, I have to admit, hair is reeeeeally hard for me. I’ve now gotten good at pony tails and pig tails, but that is about it. My daughter is four now and is getting much less wiggly so I am going to start googling some hairstyle videos.
Anyone have any favorite resources? 🙂
Maybe too late to be answering this post… but still… cutegirls hairstyles are a go to channel on you tube (they have a couple of videos with dad being in charge of the hair styling) you just need to be patient and start with the simple hairstyles (pony tails,, buns and braids… french braids are a must)
I want to gloat that it’s easier having boys (well, I hope, as mine are two months and 17 months old, so a little early to know.) But it’s already obvious that the hard part with boys is getting the hair cut on a regular basis so as not to look shaggy. Since we’re still in the early months of chaos with Jackson, we have admittedly neglected to keep up with Dylan’s hair. He currently rocks a look like Daryl on The Walking Dead. At least we can tell people that’s what we’re going for. Lol
My dad did my hair more than my mom did. I was in gymnastics; for competitions my hair had to be in a bun. One of the other moms, showed dad how to do it, and from then on he did my hair, braids and all. Most of the time, he did it better than my mom. Some of my best and favorite memories are getting up early on competition days and sitting for HOURS while he would fight my hair into a bun.
Hilarious, and that little girl is beautiful
I had a trip that almost lasted a week. I came home to find that my daughter had a knot so big, it was the start of dreadlocks. I feel your pain. My daughter is old enough now that she does her own hair. Look for a good spray in conditioner. Life saver for thick hair. I use benefit 12.
So cute! She does have amazing hair; I’m jealous! My hair has always been so fine and thin, (and very, very straight). The work her hair requires is definitely worth it!
By the way, if you want more hair tips, check out one of my favorite hair blogs: http://www.aroundthehair.com! They are really fantastic. Thank me later!
Oh my God!!! This is one of the best post I’ve red… made me laugh so much. I still temember when my dad used to dressed me and brush my hair when mom was busy (except he did it for bed,, not for school). I also have A LOT of knotty hair and a small forehead like Mazzy,, with the difference that mine is actually thin hair and silky straight like Harlow’s,, but ever since I was Harlow’s age and up to til I eas like 9 I rocked a very specific style that I liked to call “mushroom meets Chleopatra” because when it was freshly cutted it was short with bangs and trimmed in the back of my head,, and I grew it til it get to like a Chleopatra lenght before cutting it again. So thats why my dad didnt have much trouble brushing my hair,, since it was really short… but the dressing me part was a whole other story,, I specifically remember one time when he putted on my pajamas and thought he was done until my brother said “dad,, isn’t she supposed to wear her underpants?” Then my father looked behind me,, and there they were,, my underpants,, on the bed,, not on me ????