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The other day, I was watching the movie Fight Club. As Brad Pitt and Ed Norton beat the shit out of each other, I couldn’t help but think— this would make an excellent children’s book!

Thankfully, Chuck Palahniuk was one step ahead of me and has already adapted the movie into a kid-friendly illustrated book for the many fans who have now procreated and want something special to share with their little ones.

Thanks, Chuck!

I can’t wait to teach my 2yo and 5yo girls the rules of Kid Fight Club.

1) You do not talk about Kid Fight Club.

2) You do not talk about Kid Fight Club.

3) The first kid to run and tell mom loses.

Then perhaps Mazzy and Harlow will solve all their problems and take out their aggressions in the basement of our building amongst the neighborhood kids and only come back up to ask for Frozen band aids.

I can’t wait for the exciting climax when we realize Harlow isn’t real!

Here’s Chuck Palahniuk reading his new book. WARNING: It’s not actually safe to listen to with kids in the room!

If you are interested in seeing a live version of Fight Club with actual toddlers, Mazzy made the movie Toddler Fight Club before she was two!

You are welcome.

Please leave potential rules for Toddler Fight Club in the comments below! (We are already know the first two so start with Rule #3!)

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