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Yes, you read that right. Julianne Moore is today’s guest on The Mommy Show. I have no idea what misinformation she was given that led her to knock on my front door and grab a seat on my couch, but there is photo/video evidence, so I know I wasn’t hallucinating.

To make matters more interesting, Mazzy had a father/daughter excursion on the Saturday before we filmed (the show was shot on a Monday). They got home late and Mike put a sleeping Mazzy straight to bed, neglecting to tell me that at some point during the day, Mazzy’s eye had a close encounter with the corner of a table.

On Sunday morning, my daughter and Mommy Show co-star woke up with a HUGEASS SHINER.

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What’s worse than your child getting a black eye right before picture day at school? Your child getting a black eye right before Julianne Moore and a film crew show up at your front door!

“Hi Julianne! I swear we don’t normally beat our children around here!”

Anyway, the production crew assured me you couldn’t really see Mazzy’s black eye on camera, and they were right, with the exception of the opening scene, I think.

But you don’t care about Mazzy— you want the details on Mrs. Moore, I’m sure.

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First of all, she is STUNNING in person. Flawless and exactly as much star quality as you would expect. She was also incredibly nice. She showed me pics of her kids on her phone as soon as she walked in the door and loved chatting even when the camera was off.

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She was also WAY BETTER at being a Mom to my kids than I am.

During the interview portion, Mazzy was acting like she had just inhaled a packet of Fun Dip and washed it down with a gallon of Mountain Dew. She could not sit still and was sitting between us, flailing her arms and legs in all directions. I had no idea what to do, because even though this is the premise of the show, in the moment, I could not imagine diverting my attention from JULIANNE MOORE to my daughter.

So finally, Julianne interrupts HERSELF to give Mazzy the attention she was craving.

Phew. Thank god for A-list celebrities who know how to parent my children in a pinch when I am otherwise occupied.

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I’m going to chalk up this parenting infraction to EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

After watching the video, I realize Mazzy wasn’t behaving nearly as badly as I imagined in my head. In fact, her behavior is pretty hilarious.

And, at least now, I have a permanent record of Mazzy’s chronic case of “Ants in the Pants”.

Julianne was over to promote her new children’s book, My Mom Is a Foreigner, But Not to Me which is a heartwarming story about kids growing up exposed to multiple cultures and loving your mother, mutti, mamma or maman even if she speaks, eats and dresses differently than other mothers.

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(That’s my hand above, messing up holding a book again.)

As a special bonus, Julianne signed her book for me (plus she signed a few I gave away to you guys).

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See what I mean about her being really nice?

Also in this episode, Julianne labels clothes for preschool, makes folded paper butterflies, and tries and fails to buy something from Mazzy’s store.

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Can you believe I have this picture??? Sometimes, I really am amazed at how lucky I’ve been this year.

Here’s the episode!

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You can purchase Julianne Moore’s book below.