Mazzy isn’t the only one around here growing up and getting a new school schedule. Yesterday was Harlow’s first day of school too. It’s a toddler drop-off class that meets for 2.5 hours twice a week at Mazzy’s old preschool.
We debated whether to send her or wait another year, but Harlow has spent so much time shadowing Mazzy and dropping her big sister off at assorted activities, we thought it would be nice to have something just for her.
On the walk over to school, I realized Harlow had her pacifier in her mouth. We’ve been trying to designate it as bedtime-only, but have clearly not been consistent. I asked her for it and she grunted “no” as only a child with a paci blocking their air passageway can.
Then I tried something we’ve been doing lately which works better. You have to put on your biggest smile and say in your most enthusiastic voice, “Harlow, you don’t need your pacifier! You don’t need it!”
She took it out from her mouth and handed to me. No tears or protest. I put it in my purse.
When we got to the school, Harlow tried to head up the stairs to where Mazzy’s old class was located but I redirected her to the toddler class downstairs.
I think that’s when she realized what was going on. She knew this place, she had been there every day all year to pick up Mazzy. But Mazzy wasn’t with us.
Harlow acted like a pig in shit the second she stepped in the class room. While most of the kids chose one activity and busied themselves quietly, Harlow ran around to each station, unable to believe she was allowed to touch everything.
She played with playdough, she stacked all the magnatiles on a light table, she took out every baby doll and undressed them, she made pretend snacks in the play kitchen, she banged puzzle pieces against the puzzles, she took cups from the play kitchen and brought them over the playdough station, put all the playdough inside and then went back to feed them to the babies… and that was all before they went outside to the play yard.
Honestly, I think it was her best day.
Well, her best hour, since we are starting with one hour for the phase-in period. Right now, I’m in the room with her and over the course of the next few weeks, I will slowly disappear.
As is life.
At the end of the hour, the teachers gathered all the kids and parents for circle time with a few songs. All the kids sat in their moms’ laps, but Harlow chose a spot across the room. Then she demonstrated that she knows all the words and all the hand movements to “Wheels on the Bus”. There were even a few movements the teachers did differently than she had been taught at home and I watched her stop, observe and then switch to their gestures. A big smile when she mastered each one.
When I’ve spoken about Harlow going to drop-off school with my friends, I say that I’m worried about separation anxiety. That Harlow isn’t going to take to being away from home as easily as Mazzy, who never shed a tear when I walked out of the room.
I compare Harlow to Mazzy all the time. I say she is more serious, clingier, slower to learn language, and she takes a while to warm up to new people.
But that was not the Harlow I saw at her first day of school.
She was excited, eager to try new things and ready to show-off everything she already knew. She only came over to me twice in the hour that we were there, and it was to show me something she had discovered, not because she needed extra comfort. She used her words with the teachers and she smiled ear to ear the entire time.
Harlow came out of Mazzy’s shadow yesterday.
Maybe she has been there all along.
way to go, mom! Harlow sounds like a securely attached kid who knows mom will always be there when she needs her so why worry? 🙂 My kids are the same way and I do have to admit I am a little miffed that they always run away from me so easily lol
My kids surprise me every day. Just when you think you have them pegged… Harlow is going to do great!
My son starts nursery school in January and I hope the separation goes this smoothly. I dont think I could take having to walk away while he is crying.
Such a great experience to see that Harlow has her way of doing things. There will be a tough day here and there, but her first experience is what seals the deal.
I love the phase in and the short class. We tried our 17 month old in a two day a week program but it was five hours long and they made you drop them and go. He only lasted two days after he cried all day and was sad and distant when I picked him up. This is such a better way to ease them into school.
This is so sweet. Harlow should be able to read this someday.
I love the idea of this program and that I’m not the only person sending my little one on the earlier side. Our program is 3.5 hours though and we didn’t have a period to get them adjusted. She’s 6 months younger than everyone else in the class but is holding her own! (Except on days she falls asleep
Ummm, I love your blog. I’ve been following since I became a mom 9 months ago, and it is a bright part of my day.
I think Mazzy is the bees knees, but Harlow is my shining star. And this post made me tear up a little, but I’m blaming hormones for that. Congrats on shining so bright, Harlow!! I hope Pre-preschool is awesome!!
This is so fantastic to read! I’ve also got two girls: almost 4 and almost 1, and their personalities seem similar to how you describe M & H. I am so happy to hear about Harlow blooming & cannot wait to have similar adventures with my younger girl. Thank you!
I could’ve written this! I suppose it is a good thing though, even though sometimes I wish she would “act” like she needs me.
I just had to say that I loved your ending to this entry….”maybe she’s been there all along.” I just have to say speaking from experience, as I have an older sister that is 3-years older than me, she has been!
Not to turn the post on me, but my sister and I have very different personalities. I’m more observant, she’s more out-going (i.e. loud) – I say that with love. We just process things differently. And while it may have appeared I was standing behind her growing up, I’ve always been very much my own person, but one who prefers to watch and digest. Only speaking when I have something to add, but know that I have million things that just go unsaid. Harlow just strikes me the same way! She’s going to blow you away as she gets older, and you will then have this very deep, bright, loving girl (not that you don’t now, but it will just continue to shine outwards as she grows!)
I’m so glad she had a great first day and can’t wait to see what else she has in store! Squeezes for Harlow!
I have to reply before reading the comments. Hand over my chest, ahhhhhhhh, beautifully said. Chills. Probably my favorite blog ever. Go Harlow. It’s your world too baby, no need to share with big sister.
And GO MOM. Your words touch us in the deepest corners of our hearts. This was beautiful.
And I will make sure to keep little brother out of big sister’s shadow.
Yeah for Harlow! Glad she is enjoying preschool so much!
I couldn’t have said it any better than mlk…have two girls, but still the same exact thing. One of my favorite blog posts ever. Checking your blog each day of the week is a highlight. Thank you for sharing and making a community…
Cool. As parents, it is always so fun to watch the personalities of your children grow and change. great post.
Great post!
yep
agree
[…] alone. Hearing that story made me feel sad, like maybe she wasn’t as ready for separation as she seemed the first day. But I also loved that she had a coping mechanism and knew exactly what she needed to comfort […]
how old is she?
Only a smiling visitor here to share the love (:, btw great pattern.