Momoir-mommy-shorts

On Tuesday, I posted a giveaway for the book “I Just Want to Pee Alone” by a “bunch of kickass mom bloggers”. To enter, I asked you all to tell me the name of your inevitable MOMOIR; funniest title wins. There were so many great responses, I asked a few of the book’s authors to help judge.

THE JUDGES:

Kim from Let Me Start By Saying
Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures
Julie from Rants from Mommyland
Nicole from Ninja Mom
Anna from My Life and Kids
Bethany from Bad Parenting Moments
Susan from Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat
JD from Honest Mom
Tara from You Know It Happens at Your House Too
Jessica from Four Plus An Angel
Alicia from Naps Happen
Andrea from The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess 

Sometimes multiple judges gets complicated. Not this time. Nine out of the thirteen judges picked Meg Hanson’s momoir, “Everything I Know About Parenting, I Learned from Google”.

I guess that goes to show you just how many of us have googled terms like, “do stretch marks go away”, “what does neon yellow poop mean” and “who would like to take my toddler for a long weekend”.

Congratulations, Meg! Now, you just have to write 200-300 single spaced pages and your momoir will be complete! Please email me to get your prize. The rest of you can purchase “I Just Want to Pee Alone” by clicking here.

But I’m not done yet. You guys wrote so many brilliant momoir titles, I couldn’t let them linger underneath an old post in the comments for eternity, so I decided to unearth my favorites here.

Ready?

24 Hilarious Momoir Titles: Reader Edition

“It Gets Easier”
& Other Lies Parents Tell You

By Lisa

Give Me The iPad & Get Out of The Dog Crate:
Toddler Rearing at Its Finest

By Arielle

Where’s My F*cking Village?!:
Raising Kids Away From Extended Family

By Ashley

One Red Sock Will Turn the Whole Load Pink
By Mary

Oh, Dear God, It’s Everywhere!
The Blow-outs You Never Saw Coming
By Felicia

I Only Had Time to Shave One Armpit
By Michelle

Thanks for the Mammaries:
A Postbreastfeeding Mother’s Reflections on her Journey from B’s to the High of D’s, all the way Back Down to Tennis-ball-in-tubesock A’s
By Kande

Why Some Animals Eat Their Young
& Other Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

By Amy

Is it Bedtime Yet?
(It’s 8 O’Clock Somewhere)
By Leah

Please Stop Poking Me With That:
Seriously. Why is someone ALWAYS touching me?

By Amanda

Joining the PTA:
Evening Escape Plans to Avoid Bedtime Bedlam

By Heather

Preschool, Pinterest, and Prozac
(Not Necessarily in that Order)
By Stephanie 

Wipe Me
By Mel

“Stop Putting Stickers on Your Vagina”:
& Other Things I Never Expected to Say Out Loud
By Jaclyn

Adult Conversation:
Because I Haven’t had Any in Three Years

By Asia

Starch:The Only Food Group
By Katie

No Amount of Bleach Will Ever Get Rid of that Pee Smell: 
Things No One Tells You About Raising Boys
By Terra

Finger Through the Wet Wipe
By Kerry

“Where is the Damn Tupperware Lid?”
& Other Life Altering Questions

By Brit 

Sometimes I Hide in My Car
By Oluwatosin 

Don’t Sit on the Bottom of the Slide:
Rules for Life
By Alicia

“I Would Never Do That To My Kid”:
All the Crap I Said When I was Stupid, Self-righteous and Sans-children

By Messy

No, We Are Not F*#@%ing There Yet!
By Suzy

Duct Tape & Tequila: Mommy’s Little Helpers
By Michelle 

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend with lots of time for reading. Hahahaha. That’s hilarious. How about this for a title:

Books:
What Are Those Again?

By Mommy Shorts 

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WAIT! Before you go. What’s one of the weirdest parenting-related search terms you’ve ever googled?

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