Yesterday ended my three days at BlogHer, a women's blogging conference located in New York City, but unfortunately, not within walking distance from my apartment.
Since breakfast started at 8am, sessions ran all day and parties ended after midnight, I chose to stay in the hotel. Feel free to judge me if you like— my husband certainly did.
New York City was about 500 degrees over the weekend with air so thick it added at least twenty pounds to my already 6 month pregnant frame. Walking from one block to the next felt like running the last leg of a marathon with weights on my ankles in the world's largest sauna.
The first night, I got back to the hotel and met my roommate— the lovely Jessica from Four Plus An Angel (pictured below right)— and thought, "WOW, SHE SMELLS!" and then realized the stench was coming from ME.
If you're thinking I don't look pregnant in the picture above, I KNOW! It's those $200 maternity jeans! The second day, I wore a wrap dress and everyone thought I was giving birth later on that day.
Being pregnant at a conference definitely gives you a different perspective on things. For instance, long lines for the buffet lunch might be misinterpreted as a personal attack and unairconditioned transporation to an event might transform a normally well-mannered person into a new term I've coined— PREGGO-POSTAL. (My apologies to anyone who witnessed my unraveling.)
Also, if I ever put together my own blogging conference, the first thing I will do is sign up a freakin' water sponsor. Evian, Poland Springs, Fugi, I don't care— just something to make the pregnant people feel like they are not going to pass out and die.
I actually checked out the Samsung booth in the expo hall the first day and noticed they had stocked their refrigerator with small bottles of water. If you listened to their six minute pitch, the nice Samsung woman would open the fridge to show off it's spacious interior and then offer you a bottle. By the end of the conference, I had listened to that pitch about twenty times because it was the only way I could figure out how to get fluids besides coffee and soda.
If you're curious, the Samsung fridge is an impressive 28 cubic foot 4-door with an 8" LCD digital display, where you can get the weather, listen to Pandora and have the fridge pick a recipe based on the food available inside. (I did that from MEMORY, thank you very much.)
One advantage to being pregnant at BlogHer is that on the second night, you suddenly become the most popular person on earth because everybody wants your drink tickets. I briefly considered selling them on eBay but ultimately, gave them to anyone who was ballsy enough to ask.
You know, right after I said, "I'm not pregnant, asshole. HA! Just kidding!"
Pregnancy also opens up tons of possibilites when it comes to sponsorship opportunities.
For instance, when I visited the booth for the Kohler VibrAcoustic, a vibrating bathtub with built-in underwater speakers and lights that make the water change colors, my first thought was pitching them "The World's First Disco Water Birth". Kim from Let Me Start By Saying even had the awesome suggestion that I LIVE TWEET the whole ordeal.
Example: I'm 9cm. dilated, Salt & Pepa's 'Push It' is on repeat and the water is a lovely shade of neon green #letsdothisthing.
I'm sure my doctor would understand my sudden change in birth plan if it meant the free installation of a $4000 tub.
(That's Nicole from Ninja Mom, lying in the VibrAcoustic while eating an ice cream bar. We had to pry her out before she passed out in a pool of melted chocolate.)
Also, I think I might have agreed to talk about Extra Space Storage for the entire month of September just because they gave me a bag a pretzels.
Pregnancy aside, I had a huge amount of fun at BlogHer. It's really all about meeting/hanging out with the bloggers you know and love, and I did that in spades. I'm not going to name people because there are too many, but you know who you are and I can't wait to see you all again.
I'd also like to give a huge thanks to UrbanSitter, my go-to online babysitting service and my sponsor at the conference, for throwing an awesomely unsponsor-y dinner. They gave out beautiful necklaces from Covet, a San Francisco-based boutique, that didn't even have an UrbanSitter logo on them or anything. Imagine that!
And thanks to SNOOPY, who somehow got me into the Badgley Mischka champagne breakfast. True story.
So, now I have a question for you all (if you've made it this far)…
If you read Mommy Shorts via your phone or tablet, would you prefer a basic mobile format rather than the regular Mommy Shorts webpage? I fear, it won't be nearly as pretty but maybe that means nothing to anyone but me.