Have you heard about "First World Problems"? It's a popular internet meme by a blog called The Badger Hut that looks like this:
Get the gist? Well, now Kate and Lydia, the hilarious ladies behind Rants From Mommyland are putting together something called "First World Problems: Mommy Edition". (Ex: "I waited at the pediatrician’s office for 20 minutes and I had nothing to do because the baby played with my iPad the whole time.")
Kate and Lydia asked for submissions last week and so far there are 177. And now they have asked ME to be one of the judges. This means I have to pick my top ten favorites. (Again— THERE ARE 177!)
Anyway, I spent a good hour reading through all the comments last night and narrowed it down to my top 26. (Examples: "The backyard looks ugly when the pool cover is on." and "It has taken so long for the stuff from Zullily to arrive that I no longer remember what it is.") I'll be working on narrowing them down to ten by Friday when Rants from Mommyland will be announcing the judge's official picks. (If you'd like to enter, just leave a comment below their post before Wednesday.)
I also took this opportunity to write my own "First World Problems". All incredibly TRUE, mind you. Although, I'm guessing I'm not eligible for the contest. BOO!!!
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: MOMMY (SHORTS) EDITION
1) Time Warner took away Preschool On Demand and lumped it together with Kids On Demand so now it takes me longer to scroll down to Sesame Street.
2) My building doesn't have a dedicated stroller room so I have to park the Bugaboo in my own hallway.
3) My husband makes dinner every night so while he's cooking, I have to take care of Mazzy myself.
4) There are so many floor-to-ceiling windows in our living room that we had to build a wall to have somewhere to hang the flatscreen.
5) My mother won't stop begging me to babysit.
6) While brunching this weekend, Mazzy insisted on eating the only croissant in the bread basket so we had to order (and pay for) another one.
7) My favorite frozen yogurt shop closed and an inferior frozen yogurt shop opened in it's place.
8) Our nanny asked if she could take Mazzy to the Children's Museum and I was late for work because I had to look up directions on the computer.
9) My husband got me a DSLR camera for my birthday but he refuses to read the manual for me.
10) Huggies sent me coupons for three months of free diapers but you can't redeem them online so I actually have to go into a store to use them. (Click here to enter my giveaway for a three month supply of Huggies diapers.)
And lastly, my very real, seriously devastating, first world problem…
I filmed Mazzy meeting Mickey and Minnie Mouse for the first time at the Disney Store and she deleted the video from my iPhone before I had the chance to upload it to the computer.
Please understand that this was the most adorable video in the whole world. Mazzy ran full speed into Minnie's arms, did "noses" with Mickey AND THEN declared them "Mama Minnie" and "Dada Minnie" before jumping into Mickey's lap.
I watched it a billion times in the hours following and when I showed my friend at work, she literally started crying from the cuteness. NO JOKE.
Then, the next night, I was showing Mazzy the video on the phone when she pressed trash and then "delete trash" before I could stop her. DAMN TOUCHSCREENS!!! I was so upset that when I called my mother to tell her what had happened, my mother thought someone had died.
Which brings me to….
FIRST WORLD PROBLEM: MAZZY EDITION
"My mom said I couldn't get a Minnie Mouse because I already have two at home. So I had to get Kermit the Frog instead."
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If anyone wants to help me narrow down the list (177!!!), feel free to read the entries under the Rants from Mommyland post and tell me your favorite in the comment section below.
Also, if you haven't yet voted for "Best Shirtless Smash" in my Collosal Cake Smash Smackdown, please check it out. Nothing says "First World Problem" like cleaning up a cake given to a one-year-old that's meant for twenty people.
Stupid yogurt shop!
Sometimes I wish for a talking gadget, that tells me how to use it, so I don’t have to read a 50-page manual with a magnifying glass.
Oh, too bad about the video. Monkey does that deleting thing all the time.
The Zulilly one cracked me up.
I have no idea how you are going to ever decide. Hilarious!
Reading this made getting up at 6 am much more tolerable! Thanks 🙂 Good luck with the judging.
I am so jealous of number five! My mom, who lives a mere five minute drive away, is always too busy to babysit. In three years, she has babysat twice for us. When we need a babysitter, we have to call my in-laws WHO LIVE IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STATE (a three hour drive) to come visit us. My mom is such a bitch.
My favorites are : 1)Laurie said…My teenage daughter’s hooker Halloween costume didn’t come with the required stockings to attach to the garters. I had to drive to THREE different stores before I found thigh high fishnets. So much work to make her look fully dressed.They don’t serve wine at Target so I had to go home.
2) Kimmykay said… Starbucks added too much pumpkin spice in my $5 cup of coffee and now my day is off to a bad start!
3) ilikebeerandbabies.com said…
My husband took the iPad to school so I had to poop without playing Words with Friends.
4) Anonymous said…
My husband interrupted my nap by bringing me a Starbucks. He also did all the laundry but left it folded downstairs and now I’m out of underwear and don’t want to walk all the way down there to get it. I ate too much pancetta last night and now I’m bloated.
5) Amanda said…
I just moved into a new house. The garden tub in the master bathroom is so big, there was no room to build a linen closet. Therefore, I have to make room in MY closet for the three sets of sheets, four blankets, a set of 10 towels, and my “backup” comforter from Pottery Barn. That made me move my 6 suits that I no longer wear (since I’m a SAHM now)to the guest bedroom closet. How dare the builder do this to me? Sheesh.
Great ones! On the other page, I thought Guru Louise’s were all funny, but this was my favorite: I can’t decide which enrichment activity my 3 year-old should do this winter. Ballet? Gymnastics? Swimming? Trombone lessons? This is too much pressure for me.
I also liked:
The wine fridge was set too low, now my pinot grigio is just too cold for me to really enjoy it.
My kids woke up from nap but I still have 15 minutes left of Greys Anatomy to watch on hulu.
My husband took the car that has satellite radio, and now I’m stuck with REGULAR radio!
My new house is too big, and I think I am going to have to buy a second Christmas tree to achieve the right atmosphere.
I feel the need to add this (although I’m not participating in the contest):
“To calm my screaming baby, I need to balance her, bounce her, press play on ‘Hypnotize’ and film the moment. But I’ve only got two hands.”
I know it’s not exactly first world problems. But oh my that video is so freakin’ funny.
I like your #9 so much… because I made my Hubs read my new camera’s instruction manual for me as well! It’s just too true.
I’ve only read a few so far, but I’m cracking up over having to watch the commercials, and the Yukon in the Starbucks drive-thru!!
I t would be great if that talking gadget was just a person that came with the camera that could stand next to you while you were shooting your pictures at all times.
That is one of my favorites.
I know. There will be even MORE by Wednesday!
Mazzy woke up at 5:30am. I had to put the TV on in both the bedroom and the living room to occupy her.
That’s craziness! You should revoke all visitation rights. Or tell her you are having a party and then yell “surprise!” when she shows up and only you and your kid(s) are there. Then grab your husband and go to a movie.
#3 is already on the top of my list. Might have to give more consideration to #5. Thank you!
All of those are great. Enrichment activities, satellite radio and the double Christmas tree dilemma are all on my list. And the Hulu one made me angry because I wanted to use it myself! It happened on Saturday actually with Grey’s Anatomy too.
It’s a tough life having a kid that calms down to Biggie Smalls rather than annoying children’s crap like regular babies.
Can we do a husband swap for a weekend so he can teach me how to use my camera???
Mine LIVES for reading manuals. The more complicated, the better. It’s mostly synthesizer or other music equipment stuff. My eyes glaze over after one page…including him trying to explain a “particularly interesting” part. He could totally tell you all about it! I’ll put that on his honey-do list, which is accidentally really long. Might be a while ;D
I love the Yukon one. That’s one my list for sure.
i can’t believe no one said this one was their favorite: “The invisible dog fence keeps the dogs in the yard, so I actually have to pick up the dog poop.”
Funny!
OMG these two had me dying – esp the OJ one. (The weatherbug one is sooo me.)
My grocery store stopped carrying “some pulp” orange juice, so now I have to buy one carton of “no pulp” and one “lots of pulp” and mix them together myself.
The Weatherbug on my phone wouldn’t load so I had to open the door to find out which coat my daughter needed.
I’m adding one of my own:
I can’t decide between the $16,000 preschool next door and the $14,000 ten blocks away!
I got one!
I have to leave my full time job an hour early, after reading blogs the past two hours, to pick up kids from daycare and change them from their school clothes to going-out clothes, and remember to pack the Kiddopotamus tinydiner and the high chair cover so that precious Johnny doesn’t have touch the icky table or high chair at the local family chain restaurant.
so tough being me….
and i wasn’t kidding either…
They are all so good I don’t know how you re gonna choose just 10….but my favorites so far are: 1) My battery on my Droid dies like 3 times a day (because obviously they haven’t come up with good enough battery technology to accommodate my needs) so I have to recharge it constantly and sometimes, when I’m trying to Facebook or talk on the phone, I have to stay in one spot and lean in a really awkward position because my cord isn’t long enough. 2) When my cell dies and I can’t text my son,who is downstairs playing, that it’s bedtime I actually have to yell or bang on the floor to let him know it’s bedtime. 3)My 5-week old slept through the night and my boobs leaked all over my sheets, forcing me to do laundry on Wednesday instead of Saturday.
(nodding in sympathy while whispering “I TOLD you the Droid is better”)
Must be due to non-dog lover bias. We’re a powerful and very unfair faction of pet haters.
Both great. You see how hard this is?
Meanwhile, the new Tropicana plastic containers have caused an uproar in my family.
My mother is upset about the impact on the environment.
And my husband hates change.
It’s been a rough few weeks.
Hmmm…. $2000 for ten blocks less of walking every day for a year. That’s roughly $9 per walk. Actually $4.50 if you count there and back. Does that help?
I love the tiny diner. Just make sure Johnny doesn’t take after Mazzy and steal all the best bread from the bread basket.
Unless your local family chain restaurant doesn’t have a bread basket…
Now THAT would be tragic.
I love the last one. People who complain about their kid’s sleeping through the night deserve to be shot.
See comment above. Apparently, that DROID has some battery problems!
Hey now! When I switched from Cogeco to Bell, and realized that Bell doesn’t have an On Demand option…THIS WAS A SERIOUS PROBLEM! How am I going to shower in peace without enough Elmo’s World to keep the kids busy? But now I just download my kids favourite tv shows. So I guess my new first world dilemma is: My stolen kids’ cartoons are taking too long to download.
No ON DEMAND??? How do you ever survive??? That’s on par with not owning a bathroom or having to forage for food in the forest. You will be in my prayers. Good luck!
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